The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

  Detective Sherlock Holmes and his assistant, Doctor Watson, are assigned to a peculiar case ; a nobleman's life is threatened when he visits a property which will soon be inherited by him. The actual threat is an old legend that has a wild dog from hell roaming the grounds and killing all members of the Baskerville family...
  Hammer Films' prolific studios were suppliers of quality horror movies such as this throughout the 50's and the 60's. In this movie, the famous book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is brought to life. Terence Fisher goes behind the wheel once again and brings us a pure vintage and classy mystery film that is hard not to like. In my humble opinion, it is unfortunate that horror films evolved into something so much different than these productions. I miss the storytelling and the visual effects and I miss getting scared by something other than just sudden sound effects!
  The combination of actors in this film couldn't fail even if they wanted to. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee have appeared in so many Hammer films together that it is almost impossible to see one and not think of the other. While they usually play rivaling characters, here Cushing is actually helping Lee stay alive and intact. André Morell follows and makes sure every clue is collected and Marla Landi is the mandatory female character in the story. And guess what; she is a tricker!
Must watch this : on a windy night. Turn off any lights in your house and light up a candle. Cook up a mushroom velvet soup and enjoy this fucker with a side drink of brandy.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052905/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

Should we order pizza or chinese? Now, there's a question...

-What's that smell? - Not me

I told you, man. They be blazing it hard over here

The Horror of Frankenstein (1970)

  The story of young scientist Victor Frankenstein whose passion with anatomy led him to perform abnormal experiments. Collecting spare parts from dead bodies and using the powers of electricity, Frankenstein aims to be able to give life to what is already dead. And he finally, succeeds....
  Times were a-changing and so Frankenstein had to do! Directed by Jimmy Sangster, this film had nothing to do with the previous and following of the series, starring Peter Cushing. In an attempted fresh new start, Frankenstein is young, mean and totally self-oriented while the film is much more cult than the rest from Hammer studios. The monster could have been better but no hard feelings since the atmosphere is satisfying. More sex, more gore and more exploitation. This film may have been the start of a change for Hammer Studios!
  Ralph Bates manages to stand very well in the shoes of his predecessor and while his character deserves some love in the end, he manages to portray a ruthless, sadistic figure who kills everyone that stand in his way. Veronica Carlson is sadly in love with him, not seeing the monster he really is and Graham James is his friend and colleague until he was no longer needed. Surprise appearance by Dennis Price and voluptuous Kate O'Mara who steals any scene she is in.
Must watch this : on the last day of summer when you feel the weather changing and the cold of winter coming in the distance. Make a hefty cup of Earl Grey tea and enjoy this film like a cold-hearted Briton !
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065851/

Not even the  lemon drops in my eyes seem to work

It's gonna bust

It's all you, bro! You can lift it!

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

  Tumak, the son a tribe's leader is punished to exile by his father. Wandering the unfriendly land he lives in, fighting off dinosaurs and beasts, he finds another tribe much less violent than his but he is banished from there also. A girl from the second tribe follows him and together they must face the wilderness once again...
  Incredibly ahistorical to the last minute but utterly entertaining, One Million Years B.C is a fantasy adventure film directed by Don Chaffey. The breathtaking sets give the film an amazing breath of credibility and bind perfectly with the stop-motion (thank Ray Harryhausen) scenes. Though kid-like at many points, this film luckily has some adult-level violence inside it that makes the caveman concept more realistic.
  John Richardson as Tumak is enjoyable and easily makes a role-model for a man, that right kind of man who shoots first and then asks questions. Raquel Welch (as Loana) needs no special introduction as she remains a sex symbol since then and it's always a pleasure to see sex symbols in prehistoric bikinis! Percy Herbert is the arch enemy of Tumak and ironically he is his brother. It's like Cane and Abel shit all over again!
Must watch this : with your girl and a selection of mixed nuts. Watch this naked in order to feel in touch with your caveman side and try to use no words after the film for at least two hours! Now that's life imitating art!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060782/

Everybody saw that? He fell on his own!

Let that motherfucker down! He owes me money

Prehistoric bitch fight

The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)

  Totally broke, Dr.Frankenstein returns to Karlstaad and starts his experiments once again in his family castle. He requires the assistance of a hypnotist called Zoltan in order to reanimate the creature, but Zoltan has other plans for it. He orders it to wreak havoc in town for his own profit and Frankenstein has to stop them both...
  Freddie Francis' first attempt at directing seems to have paid off just fine. Recreating and enhancing the dark persona of Dr.Frankenstein, Francis puts his own touch to the film legend. All the gothic and the Sci-Fi elements are there but this time we get an extra dosage of mysticism and parapsychology which definitely makes the film gloomier and more dangerous. A fine film with a smooth progress that doesn't let you get bored.
  Peter Cushing once again as Dr.Frankenstein and this time he sees his creations being abused by some other malevolent personality besides him. His arch enemy, Peter Woodthorpe blends in effortlessly in the film's mood. Katy Wild as the beggar girl and Sandor Elès as Frankenstein's assistant complete the main cast of this mesmerizing flick!
Must watch this : on a hot summer evening with a plate full of fish and chips. I don't know why but it seems like a good combination with this film.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058073/

Listen, I got a plan. We will spy on Mrs. Frankenhooker tonight. Totally incognito!

I am the master of espionage

Should I do a pedicure as well?

Horror Of Dracula (1958) a.k.a Dracula

  After Jonathan Harker's failed attempt to murder Dracula in his castle, he flees to a nearby town and starts preying on Harker's fiancée. Doctor Van Helsing joins the fight against Dracula and he seems to be the only one able to protect her and strike a definitive blow to the vampire's heart...
  Classic Hammer Productions director Terence Fisher brings one of the most classic and most complete films in the cinema legend of Dracula.Back then, Hammer Films weren't yet evolved in what we all came to love and that is obvious in the settings and the mood of the film. You can witness the slow transformation, the turning into a very good production and you can see that this movie still didn't have those. But that doesn't mean that this film is not as good as the others. On the other hand, this film is the father!
  A long and fruitful legendary friendship and co-operation started with this film as this was the first time Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing met as arch enemies (in The Curse of Frankenstein they weren't sworn enemies). Paying total respect to Bram Stoker's work, the two actors together with the rest of the cast (Melissa Stribling, Michael Gough, Carol Marsh etc) present a fine work of professionalism and passion for the Gothic horror!
Must watch this : for some reason this movie goes well with a plateful of the good ol' goulash, a pint of smooth Indian Pale Ale and a pipe filled with  fine tobacco! Enjoy alone on a random night and make the night your faithful bitch!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051554/

Help me, please. I don't know any geography!

Dear diary, if I wasn't a vampire hunter I would definitely want to be a pornstar!

Get it off me, please!

Twins Of Evil (1971)

  Τwins Maria and Frieda are sent to live with their uncle, Gustav Weil, who leads the local fight against vampirism and witchcraft. His main enemy is Count Karnstein but he is untouchable due to his social status. The Count tries to seduce the twins to his dark castle and include them in his devilish rituals but one of them is more attracted to it than the other...
  Prolific director John Hough brings us this interesting addition to the empire that is gothic horror films of Hammer! The atmosphere seems darker than in most Hammer films, the tone is set to gloomy and bucolic, all the usual actors are there and now the female threat is double! For me, the ritual scenes were something refreshing and made the film flow much cooler!
  Peter Cushing could not be absent from this film either. His classic style of acting is even more obvious, given the fact that Damien Thomas, his arch enemy, is also quite good at luring and enticing Madeleine and Mary Collinson,who are just two cutie pies that got in the wrong village.
Must watch this : on a cool September night, when the weather has just started cooling off from the hot summer. Let the cool breeze hug you and push you deeper into the film's foggy woods. Be sure to take some lunch with you!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069427/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

"I bite" "I don't"

Dear Lord Satan, thank you for this fine piece of ass that you have blessed me with

Da fuq is that?

The Vampire Lovers (1970)

  A countess leaves her daughter, Marcilla, with General von Spielsdorf so that she can go away and look after her sick friend. During Marcilla's stay in the Spieldorf house, their daughter gets suspiciously sick and and weak. When Marcilla goes to stay at another house, the same situation occurs there too. Legends and rumors start to spread about an old vampire family...
  Directed by the legendary Roy Ward Baker, this flick is one of the most atmospheric and gothic Hammer films. As always, amazing settings and story that bind together by some glorious photography and even more stunning performances. The overall mood is something like the feeling of being alone in the woods with the first cold autumn breeze blowing and you get the feeling that someone is after you! This movie is that good!
  Peter Cushing as always is the card that guarantees a good Hammer Film production. Kate O' Mara and Madeline Smith make the vampire world a better place with the classy beauty and Ingrid Pitt needs an collection of poems in her name to describe and glorify her venomous seductive stare! You can't miss it if you are a fan of true Gothic horror or at least a fan of vampire horror!
Must watch this : on the coldest night of October when the wind is blowing satisfyingly cold and the humidity is at right level! Set the mood with some red candles and red wine, invite a girl friend over and have a blood orgy after the film with this unholy cup of blood flowing!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066518/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Wet dream again!

Alright, alright just suck it and leave me alone!

You gotta stake 'em bitches to the ground!

 

The Plague of the Zombies (1966)

  A mysterious epidemic starts killing young workers in a little Cornish village. The local doctor helplessly asks for professor James Forbes' help. Upon Forbes' and his daughter's arrival to the village think start spiraling out of control and now Forbes has to face something unreal...
  In the vein of similar goth horror films from the same company, this film comes out and stings like a motherfucker. Directed by John Gilling, this flick boasts a smart script, fine acting, solid photography and gloomy atmosphere. As always, the settings are outstanding and certainly build up half of the film's momentum. Cemeteries, unholy rituals, zombies....prepare!
  The cast is a classic Hammer Films' one, with sophisticated actors performing above average. The expressions and feelings portrayed are convincing and life-like and the theatrical mood of the actor's performances gives a more realistic touch to it. That is quite difficult for a film of the genre! Standing out from the cast are André Morell, Brook Williams, Jacqueline Pearce and Diane Clare!
Must watch this :  on a rainy and windy March afternoon. Make yourself a nice cup of tea and enjoy the film. After the film, take a long stroll in the muddy woods nearby but make sure not to shit yourself with every strange noise you hear!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060841/

A fine specimen of period blood

Oh, no! I am lost...Maybe a wolf may come and help me!

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Shut up, Mike. That is immoral"

Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)

  Monsignor Ernest Mueller performs an exorcism ceremony on the door of Dracula's castle. Little does he know that Count Dracula has risen from the grave and now he wants to take his revenge. He tracks the Monsignor down and sets on making his niece the new Mrs. Dracula...
  Another fine addition to the film legend of Dracula. Directed by Freddie Francis and perfectly produced, this film might just be one of the best Dracula films out there. Deep emotion and goth atmosphere with just a little bit of these Italian style colors in the background that make all the difference. It's doom and gloom time...
  Who else other than Christopher Lee? This man is the legend himself and no one can walk like him in his big-balled shoes. Especially not when he is surrounded by such great actors like Rupert Davies as the Monsignor, Barry Andrews as Paul and Marion Mathie as the forbidden fruit of lust for Dracula. It is interesting to see such a powerful love story being developed side to side by the world's worst nightmare!
Must watch this : on a cold, windy and foggy January afternoon right at twilight with a cup of the best Earl Grey tea you can get your hands on. Let the wind and fog surround you and drown you in Dracula's mist...MuaHaHaHa
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062909/ 

A little to the left...Yeah that's good

Van Helsing, that is some dunk kush, man!

"You will be my wife" "But,I..." "There are no buts..."

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)

  Dr. Victor Frankenstein is now in ail waiting his conviction and confesses his lifetime experiences to a priest. We learn about his early days and how he was tutored by Paul Krempe and later became his assistant and colleague. He explains his first attempts to bring to life a dead dog and finally how he managed to bring his monster to life and come at knives with Paul Krempe.
  The first film in the long film story of Frankenstein and what a way to start it! Terence Fischer could not be absent from the director's seat! Directing leaves a great space to the characters to express their talents and evolve their characters grim psychosynthesis. This movie delves deeper into the psychological cosmos of Dr. Frankenstein rather his creation.
  Peter Cushing as Frankenstein (who else? ), Christopher Lee as the creature, Robert Urquhart as  Dr. Krempe and Hazel Court as Elizabeth, Frankenstein's fling thing. A classic British cast worthy of its name and fame, all these actors do more than a great job here. It is like you are reading an old and dusty book in a hut in the woods by the fireplace and the writing is so vivid that you are actually in the book! This movie is that good.
Must watch this : as I set the mood with fireplaces and everything , I should keep it. Watch this on the windiest night of February, by the fireplace with a selection of cheese and sausages. Let the wind be a reminder of all the foul things that linger in the dark outside...
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050280/

Fuck the police!

And this is how you get pussy!

'Scuse me, Sir. Is this the set of Dracula?

The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)

  Baron Victor Frankenstein escapes his execution by having a priest beheaded and buried in his place. He runs to Germany where he goes by his new alias, Dr. Stein. He creates his new profile by working at a pauper's hospital but secretly he collects dead body parts in order to restart his wicked experiments...
  Another fine addition to the ever great legend of Frankenstein. Directed by none other than Terence Fischer, this film has every Hammer element we love to the max ; secret labs with oozing smoke, foggy and gloomy places and classic performances!
  Peter Cushing, once again, goes all the way in portraying the character of Dr. Frankenstein. He has achieved the unachievable by actually becoming his role. You can't tell his real intentions or whether he is good or bad. congrats to Francis Matthews as well, as his young and naive doctor accomplice.
Must watch this :  on a day with deep fog and ominous black clouds. Make yourself a cappuccino and let the film suck you into its atmosphere.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050894/

Da fuck are you?

"Is it serious, Doc?" "No.But I might as well take his liver just in case"

I got blisters on me forehead!

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969)

  Baron Frankenstein is back on his usual track. This time he is hiding his true identity and with the forced help of young doctor Karl and his fiancée Anna he wants to fulfill his new plans ; to perform the first brain transplantation surgery eve. He kidnaps deranged Dr. Brandt for his brain but not everything goes as planned...
  Loosely based on the original Frankenstein story, this film can stand on its own as a variation of the series, with an interesting plot and everything. Terence Fisher on the wheel (who else would it be?) and he sure is one hell of a "driver"! Unbeatable Hammer Productions sets and mood, British finesse and a horror legend that refuses to die! A fine film for every devoted horror fan.
  Peter Cushing (no need for introductions) goes beyond the usual evil. He kidnaps, schemes, hold hostages and even rapes (rumor has it that he apologized to his colleague after the scene) all in the favor of science. Simon Ward and Veronica Carlson (you guessed it! she gets the rape) are the unlucky young couple in love that happens to be in his way. True spiraling horror!
Must watch this : with a cappuccino and chocolate cake on a rainy November afternoon. After the film, go out for a stroll in the rain. I don't know why but it always sounds like a good idea after  horror film!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065738/

I got the brains chills from all this weed

I am going to mail this to your mother only to inform her that her son is a faggot. OK?

I need to change my hairdresser. Shit!

The Brides of Dracula (1960)

  Van Helsing, the known vampire hunter, returns to Transylvania in order to save the day once again. A young and innocent teacher on her way to her new position, sets free the horrors of the vampires by mistake. A seemingly easy task for Van Helsing, but will he make it?
  Hammer Films and quality horror stories go together like cocaine and waffles. Nothing can go wrong with Terence Fisher on the wheel, Price in the lead and a couple of classy female characters! The Gothic-Baroque vibe is intense, the dialogues are strong and sophisticated, the characters well-developed and the story imaginative and horrifying. And just for the thrill, you also get some young, sophisticated ladies to fill up the secondary roles.
  Peter Cushing, David Peel, Martita Hunt, Freda Jackson, Yvonne Monlaur and all the rest. All actors of a time long gone, actors of a different breed and culture for whom a role was their life. I can't write too much or I risk ruining their significance. Just watch the film and judge for yourself.
Must watch this : after a trip to Central Europe, maybe Czech Republic. Get all the Gothic and Baroque atmosphere you can, mix with memories of people and places from this trip and blend with a high-potent well-prepared glass of absinthe.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053677/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Shady motthafucka with a mustache eyefuckin' the shit out of you

Such a shame...

Is there something in my teeth?