Check to the Queen (1969) a.k.a Scacco Alla Regina

  A disappointed young wife, bored with her life, decides to work for a strange actor/model for as long as her husband is away for business. Her duty is to assist the "signora" with anything she desires on a daily basis and, most of al, tolerate her obnoxious character without a complaint. But as their weird employer-employee relationship progresses, X will find out the darker truth inside herself; that she is only happy when she is dominated...
  Pasquale Festa Campanile is the director of this beautiful Italian film and I must admit I was not aware of his work before I watched it. The flick follows a classic recipe of Italian giallo without being a giallo ; the mood, the color, the music, the atmosphere are all there minus the "thriller" characteristic. No, "Scacco Alla Regina" is somewhere out there without fitting into an exact category ; sometimes humorous, somewhat cheesy, kinda sexy, surely classy and psychedelic, so...Yeah! You get the point. Hands down, this is a good film, not boring at all and certainly lets time flow but keeps you focused. Highly recommended for those bored of typical films about sexual and sensual domination!
  Since this is an Italian flick, I think I do not need to make a big introduction about the cast of the film, especially the ladies! Get ready to feast your eyes on some superb examples of what a Italian "donna" is. Our lady viewers can also find their prince here too, so better notes. Rosanna Schiaffino, Haydee' Politoff, Romolo Valli, Aldo Giuffre and Daniela Surina. Easy-going characters (well mostly) played by breezy actors so in the end you get a very smooth result. Don't expect any hardcore stuff here in terms of domination, only vanilla, stylish and everyday kinky vices. You gotta love that you will hate (and hate that you will love) the domina in this film, though! She is totally convincing and would definitely persuade you to obey her, for sure!
Must watch this : when you move into your first, new house. Let the exhaustion of moving and carrying all your things carry you in a chill out mood. Pour yourself some cold Vinsanto and enjoy!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166789/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

So, I told him " Well, yes, love! I am coming down immediately". And, yeah, he is downstairs waitin' 

There! Now you are a complete bowl of fruits!

Take that, you cheeky cunt!

Pit Stop (1969)

  Rick Bowman, a car junkie and speed addict, is approached by a shady guy who wants to sponsor him to participate in a new form of automobile racing, the Figure 8. This is a very dangerous kind of sport as the risks of crashing and getting killed is the actual point of it all. Rick will face his arch enemy and try to make it out alive...
  Jack Hill is a very respectable director and writer of the celluloid underground. Throughout the years he found his perfect balance of sleaze, trash and exploitation, all boosted by an aspiration to become something greater. Hence his films have a more "normal" feel to them than the average B-movie. His greatest achievements, though, were his contribution to the Blaxploitation genre and this film is just 3 years before that! By that token, Pit Stop should interest even as little as to see the progress he would later make. Of course, it is more than that...
  The cast some interesting appearances. It is the kind of cast that wanted something bigger for themselves although certain factors contributed to that never happening during their career. And you can feel and see that in their eyes. And you can imagine them at the same time as you are watching this film, sitting on their couch, reminiscing, with the whole nostalgic,melancholic Tarantinesque vibe. But, that is still OK, because people like Richard Davalos, Ellen Burstyn, Sid Haig, Beverly Washburn and Brian Donlevy are the actual everyday heroes we need to keep it going. To remind us that dreams are out there to be chased even if the chase is as vain as a car racing and chasing the sun...
Must watch this : on a hot spring Sunday morning. After the film, expect an unbeatable urge to get in your car,turn that key around and drive for as far as the tank can take ya!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064819/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Sponsorship, hmmm?!So, what kind of cash you willing to give?!

Girlfriend's face when you do a stunt with the car and risk getting killed *that moment right before*

We don't no need no brakes, mister. Take 'em off!

Love Camp 7 (1969)

  Two female U.S Army undercover agents are sent to a concentration camp where a scientist is believed to be held prisoner. Little do they know that this camp is not like any other Nazi camp but a what seems to be a brothel for the SS...
  OK, it's Lee Frost. You shouldn't have expected anything less or anything more. The usual sleaze hits a new soft target and everything actually goes far better than expected. Nazi soldiers getting it on with captured women may be one of the sickest topics I've ever heard and that seems even filthier when a film about that is totally non serious.That's exploitation, everybody ; the use of what's upsetting you given in a humorous way.
  Bob Cresse, Maria Lease, Kathy Williams, Rodger Steel, Bruce Kimball and a bunch of skinny, undernourished naked girls. You really shouldn't expect much but I guess you probably knew that the moment you read the title. Even so , Bruce Kimball manages to make a difference and make one hell of a cult Nazi prison manager. His slimy face and expressions are great and produce real cult essence.
Must watch this : on a random day. This film holds no need for special occasions but guarantees fun nonetheless. Enjoy with a cold beer.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063242/?ref_=nv_sr_1

I didn't sign up for this

Mein snitzel will burst

Nazi : the untold story

Naked Angels (1969)

 Mother, a biker gang leader, gets out of prison and reconnects with his old pals. His only wish is to get back at the rival gang that snitched him out in the first place. Leading them throughout the desert, Mother seems to have lost his touch and gets rejected from the gang and left alone to get his revenge...
  Unluckily, Bruce D. Clark only directed one bikersploitation in his short career and and this film is it. Naked Angels employs a standard recipe for a film of this kind and does not even care to take a step out of the beaten path. That may seem to please most but not me and certainly not when even the expected amount of nudity is missing somewhere. Nevertheless, some great footage of the wild American desert and its riders, some intense violent scenes in the end and the lively soundtrack seem to make up for it!
  Michael Greene holds the role of the main character and as anti-hero as he would like to appear I simply can't accept him as the center of the film's story. He even treats his bitch, Jennifer Gan, like she was a model from Facial Abuse. Not cool at all! Luckily, Richard Rust a.k.a Fingers comes to take the lead and bring a more democratic touch to the gang!
Must watch this : grab a six-pack of some good beer, wear your dirty jeans and just a vest, get a filthy burger and enjoy this slacker like a true American!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064715/

Damn, man. We smoked the last joint, man!

Race you to your grave

Vroum, Vroum, Vroum

Hedonistic Pleasures (1969)

  A documentary on the dirtier side of Los Angeles and how people affect it or are affected by it. Supposedly secret cameras document everyday lurid scenes in which explore their sexualities and the capabilities of money over flesh...
  Ed De Priest and this film are highly underrated, if you ask me. Setting aside the fact that this flick is something between a documentary and a mondo but in the bad kind of way, if you watch it just for the pictures it is a fucking piece of art. Not meaning to shock or arouse, this movie has plenty of artistic and full-frontal nudity that comes together with a majestic psychedelic score that simply takes you away to nowhere. Watch it just for fun and it works. Watch it and try to find a meaning and you lost the game!
  Pat Barrington in a classic nude role, reminding her glamor in Mondo Topless. Sharon Well, Natasha Steel and Nancy McGavin complete the (female, there is no point in talking about the male one) cast and the result is psychedelic essence in its purest, exploitation form.
Must watch this : open your mind, prepare a glass of White Russian, set the lights low, mute the film and have this lysergic motherfucker playing in the background.One.Two.Three.Take off!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0219759/

Tits everywhere!

A joint a day keeps the boredom away

Blaze

Tarzana, the Wild Girl (1969) a.k.a Tarzana, Sesso Selvaggio

  News of a Kenyan tribe having elected a white girl as their queen reach Sir Donovan's ears, whose daughter was lost in the jungle fifteen years agio together with her mother and other relatives during a plane accident. In his last attempt to see if he can rescue any relative still alive, Sir Donovan gathers a rescue team...
  Tarzana is a stupid little film by Italian Guido Malatesta but have no worries. Although super cheap and super cheesy, this film manages to deliver the right doses of exploitation satisfaction that one may seek when watching such a flick. The story though classic fails to reach an interesting peak and throughout the film you can see cheap inserted stock footage. Don't set the bar too high and this flick might just do the trick for you!
 Ken Clark is the hot stud leading the expedition and the ever-horny Franca Polesello is Donovan's representative. Franco Ressel is the greedy asshole and Raf Baldassarre is the rapist of the group but of course the film is dedicated to Femi Benussi a.k.a Tarzana who is naked throughout the whole 82 minutes. Be careful to notice Beryl Cunningham's gangbangish jungle dance!
Must watch this : with friends otherwise it may be too boring. First, go to your neighborhood's low-cost super market and get ultra cheap and seemingly tropic juices, freeze them and enjoy as smoothie during the film!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065070/

Don't panic but I just got my period

Nude beach virgin

Oh, snap! I've been shot!

Kiss Me Monster (1969) a.k.a Küß Mich, Monster

  Sexy secret agents Diana and Regina are once again on a secret mission. Following the mysterious trail of a deadly message, the two spies travel to a Caribbean island and seek the traces of a secret society called Abilene that acts in absolute secrecy. Accepting their new mission from Abilene, they will soon find that that end of the mystery is nowhere near...
  Much like Sadist Erotica, Kiss Me Monster is an unorthodox spy spoof film by none other than the notorious Jess Franco. Instead of ultra macho men spies you get two ultra bimbo women spies with an awful taste for a high-class living. Surreal at most of its parts, unbelievable in others, this film guarantees a cheap quality amount of time with a groovy psychedelic soundtrack and the minimum amount of nudity that a Franco film can stand. If you can dig it, dive in!
  Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni are the protagonist super-spy duo. Don't get fooled though. They certainly don't pass for any spies but they can easily go for high maintenance divas. It's not in the purpose of the film to make them look like spies either! Never afraid of danger and always seducing everything in their way they go on and solve the case with or without the help of Chris Howland, Michel Lemoine and Manuel Velasco.
Must watch this : on a hot and slow summer afternoon with a cocktail hard enough to make this movie sufferable! After the film, find the nearest swimming pool and go chill!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061432/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

"Play Smells like teen spirit" "No."

Leave the stage like a lady

We must be getting near Amsterdam

The Wild Bunch (1969)

  Pike Bishop is the leader of an outlaw gang of aging criminals. After performing their latest job, the gang decides to retire  from their wild life. But their adventures are not over yet and they still have a long way to go into the Wild West...
  Legendary director Sam Peckinpah directs yet another legendary western film filled with intense and run-down characters in a filthy environment. Amazing and breathtaking background and adrenaline-packed scenes that let the characters evolve and unfold. This is where the not-so-cheesy punchlines get their special day and where bullets have the same power as balls!
  For such a film, Peckinpah would not allow the cast to be anything different than what he would choose. Enter William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, Ben Johnson, Warren Oates, Jaime Sánchez and master Emilio Fernández. Don't be surprised that women are not a big thing in this film. This is as manly as a manly western film can get, with ideals and concepts only pleasing to men. This is The Expendables only 40 years earlier!
Must watch this : have a big all-day party with all your dudes. Start with gymnastics and showing off, continue with a big ass all-meat barbeque and end with cigar and cognac session. Play this film right after the meat is ready and the beer is cold and flowing!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065214/

With these 2 coins I can buy your mother for a night!

This is borderline gay, guys...

How many Mexicans does it take to load a gun?

Relations (1969) a.k.a Sonja - 16 år

  Pege, a middle-aged man, has relationship problems with wife who seems to be too cold to work it out anyway. Frustrated and lost, Pegel starts fooling around with 16-year-old Sonja who leads him on a distorted path to sexual and sensual fulfilment...
  Hans Abramson and Brandon Chase direct this masterpiece of EuroSleaze! It comes out as ordinary sexploitation flick but it is a lot more than that. The European air and mood are too present to let this film be just an exploitation film. The directors pay close attention to giving another perspective to the whole subject of relationships and of course they do so through some vivid and lewd depictions of sex and tense dialogues. If you are too frigid, don't watch. It takes open-minded European eyes to swallow it down!
   Bjørn Puggaard-Müller is the adulterer who found his second youth and Gertie Jung is the young nymph wo allows him to take this second taste of the saucy youth! Both act quite convincingly, as if they were actually in this small erotic adventure. Jeanne Darville, Poul Glargaard and Isa Møller Sørensen fill up the rest of the crew and complete this borderline sensually distorted movie.
Must watch this : alone or with a friend of the other sex. After the film, talk about relationships, sex and cheating with this groovy fucker playing. Chances are you will have sex afterwards!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065129/

Am I not too young for you?

Hmmm, so I wasn't too young after all!

I am a defiler of innocent youth!

Night of the Bloody Apes (1969) a.k.a La Horripilante Bestia Humana

  In a desperate act to save his son's life, a mad doctor performs the first ape-to-man heart transplant surgery hoping it will help cure his leukemia. The young man starts turning into a violent gorilla-man that goes on a killing spree. The doctor tries to correct his mistake but it is already too late...
  From the land of total sleaze and cheesiness, René Cardona directs this interesting piece of cheap exploitation. Ultra low-budget effects, cold but hilarious acting and an ape-monster-man that seems to have a thing for buxotic Mexican women! There is some fake gore (the scene with the heart transplant is real and was inserted), some Latina nudity, some Sci-Fi so I guess this movie passes the bar for weird flicks!
  José Elías Moreno is the mad doctor and he is the most cheesiest of the entire cast, Agustín Martínez Solares is his son but only appears half-asleep all the time and Gerardo Zepeda lends the muscualr body to the monster! Norma Lazareno seems like she was a last minute addition (maybe she had an affair with the script writer) but we don't mind at all and Carlos López Moctezuma is the hunchback-like assistant of the monkey doctor! For dedicated fans only!
Must watch this : with good mood (you will start laughing many times throughout the film), good Mojito and the sun burning. After the film, you need to go to the beach and pretend you are an ape. Some of us, the hairier kind, don't need to try much!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063090/

Women Lucha Libre...Feminism-World:1-0

Bad case of period

Dad, am I adopted?

Venus in Furs (1969) a.k.a Paroxismus

  A jazz musician witnesses the assault of a young woman at a millionaire's party. The next day, he finds her dead at the beach and confused, he leaves for Rio where he lives with a young female singer. Unexpectedly, he meets a woman much like the victim and he starts to pursue her to find out who she is...
  When heavy psychoactive substances interact with a flow of smooth jazz and Jess Franco interferes, then you get something like this film. The lack of exact continuity creates a mood of trippy haze and with the nostalgic and sensual scenes that only Franco can create, Venus in Furs is sure to take you away from your personal and into another. 60's, drugs, parties, music and travels...
  The cast is, as usual in early Franco's films, totaly off the hook. Maria Rohm, Barbara McNair, James Darren and Klaus Kinski giving a truly great dramatic performance. Grasping the dopy mood of the film from the balls, the actors dive themselves so deep in their characters that it is like like living the experience in reality.
Must watch this : on a Saturday, right before you go to a house party, with a glass of Southern Comfort. At the party, try to get as wasted as you can and don't leave until someone is dead or it is already 12 of the next morning. In the early morning hours that everyone is exhausted and wasted, set the mood with that jammy shit and some joints.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064789/

Naked already? It must be my lucky day!

Jammin' dat trumpet

Oh, snap! Not again!

Pretty Models All In A Row (1969)

  Mr. Murphy, a photographer, invites models into his house for supposedly legitimate model work but lures them into having sex with him. At some point, he has invited so many models that he can't handle them all on his own. Unexpectedly, three domineering women arrive to his house and dominate him...
  That is some pretty fucked up film! Not for its non existent story, not even for its lame performances but for the mood that creates. Directed by Joseph F. Robertson and starring the notorious Ed Wood, this 'interesting' piece of cinema art is utterly filthy and cheap taste. You have been warned!
  The film actually boasts an impressive female cast ; Heather Starr,  Casey Larrain, Lynn Harris and many others. Impressive not for their acting skills but for their looks and the fact that they appeared in many other films besides this one. Ed Wood finally gets it out of his system (you will know why) and it makes me think whether or not this film was made for this reason...
Must watch this : I would recommend this even less than She Devils of the SS. If you are persistent to watch this, do so on a night of excessive drinking with a few of your bros.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064605/ 

Impersonation of kitsch

Am I doing this right?

Sick!

 

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969)

  Baron Frankenstein is back on his usual track. This time he is hiding his true identity and with the forced help of young doctor Karl and his fiancée Anna he wants to fulfill his new plans ; to perform the first brain transplantation surgery eve. He kidnaps deranged Dr. Brandt for his brain but not everything goes as planned...
  Loosely based on the original Frankenstein story, this film can stand on its own as a variation of the series, with an interesting plot and everything. Terence Fisher on the wheel (who else would it be?) and he sure is one hell of a "driver"! Unbeatable Hammer Productions sets and mood, British finesse and a horror legend that refuses to die! A fine film for every devoted horror fan.
  Peter Cushing (no need for introductions) goes beyond the usual evil. He kidnaps, schemes, hold hostages and even rapes (rumor has it that he apologized to his colleague after the scene) all in the favor of science. Simon Ward and Veronica Carlson (you guessed it! she gets the rape) are the unlucky young couple in love that happens to be in his way. True spiraling horror!
Must watch this : with a cappuccino and chocolate cake on a rainy November afternoon. After the film, go out for a stroll in the rain. I don't know why but it always sounds like a good idea after  horror film!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065738/

I got the brains chills from all this weed

I am going to mail this to your mother only to inform her that her son is a faggot. OK?

I need to change my hairdresser. Shit!