Blacula (1972)

  Mamuwalde, an African prince in ancient times, gets bitten by Lord Dracula and turns into a vampire. After his deep slumber, Mamuwalde wakes up 70's Los Angeles ans spreads funky fear and horror as Blacula...
  Love or hate blaxploitation, you gotta to admit these guys had some serious sense of humor. Every 60s-70s famous film you think of, you can find its blaxploitation doppelganger. And you just can't but laugh at the wordplay of the original titles. I mean, Blacula? Who ever came up with that. All jokes aside though, director William Crain's only film is considered a blaxploitation classic as well as a comedy horror milestone. So, don't get too judgemental while watching it.
   Blacula is played by William Marshall who is not your average low quality actor but a very dynamic personality instead! And since this is a blaxploitation film, you get to see all of these black vampire mamas,
Vonetta McGee and Denise Nicholas. Lastly, for all you Sci-Fi freaks out there, you may even recognize Thalmus Rasulala only without the uniform.
Must watch this : get a motherfuckin' big bucket of supreme K.F.C, a proper manly volume of Pepsi Twist and your super-pumped vaporizer with Vaponaute flavor! Now that's cult, ladies and gentlemen!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068284/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

When bae knows how to shake that

When you remember that ass

POV angle when you walk with a hot girl in a club

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

  Edward lives in the outskirts of a small American town. up high in a tower. His unique figure doe snot allow him to go out and meet the world ; instead of hands, Edward has scissors. A stroke of luck brings Edward being accepted by a family and venturing his way through modern society...
  Tim Burton uses his secret recipe and brings forth a lovely pre-Christmasy movie. Although, Burton could stay on the beaten track and just make another great weird movie like he always does, he strayed off a bit and delved deeper into social and psychological issues. Scissorhands is a fine depiction of the person in all of us who fights to get accepted in society but most of the times the society is not even ready for this little guy. All in all, a great movie about love, acceptance and being unique!
  There must be something about Depp and his pick of roles. I mean, you can check every one of his films and you will not find a single role as a normal character. He always goes the extreme way and probably that's we like him. Winona Ryder is exquisite as Depp's forbidden love and we would really love to see that happen. And of course, like in any other love story, there is a douchebag he just won't get out of the way, in this case it's Anthony Michael Hall who plays so could that you can hate him!
Must watch this :  on a cold December night, when your fever is running high and you are trying to lose the shakes by wrapping yourself in blankets. Enjoy with a cup of hot chocolate and after the film, weep for your lost loves, if any!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099487/?ref_=nv_sr_2

Little spouses in perfect little houses

Yes, I cut my own hair.

I have come here to fuck up your Christmas

Rio Bravo (1959)

  Small town Sheriff John T. Chance has to deal with a violent gang that terrorizes his town. When he the brother of the gang's leader is put behind bars, the attacks start becoming more common. The sheriff enlists the help of some local townspeople; a cripple, a drunk and a young wanna-be-gunfighter...
   Howard Hawks directs what seems to be just another average western/comedy/romance film. Very typical of that time but what is not typical is the addition of John Wayne in the cast. Having Wayne by its side, the film manages to spiral within the limitations of its genre but gives off a satisfying air of change. You know something was about to change in the genre by watching this film. All cliches are here but in a different way plus every persona in the story is cult enough to stand on its own. Cliches+cult personas=a good entertainment!
  John Wayne plays a role he had plenty of years by then to master. It is like Wayne does not even act (not in the negative kind of way) but simply acts as himself. Dean Martin clearly is more than your angelic voice but pulls through his role quite easily and pleasantly. Walter Brennan is the story's verbal punching bag and so brings a lot of humor especially when contradicted with young and fresh Ricky Nelson! Angie Dickinson plays the mandatory female role, mandatory due to production's politically-correctness, but I just can't see her at John Wayne's side!
Must watch this : on a hot summer afternoon, after having a light lunch of season vegetables. Chill out with your herbal iced tea and let the good times fire away.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053221/

Please, Senior. Stop looking at my wife!

Can I have an autograph,  Μr..Banderas?

I forgot my wallet. Let's rob the bank!

Secretary (2002)

  A young girl with psychological issues leaves the mental hospital and starts looking for a job. When she gets a position at Mr. Grey's office as his secretary, she starts finding out her boss's masochist nature. Instead of leaving, she falls in love with him and his extreme vices...
  Many years before the Fifty Shades of Shit craze hit our women, this film seemed to pioneer this movement. Even the main male character's name is Grey. They say steal from the best but certainly someone overdid it. Anyway, the film is actually a very good one with all the saucy elements given in a more humorous way and still in the end love prevails all vices, or at least it's combined. Kudos to Steven Shainberg for the great work and for marketing the issue of BDSM so good it convinced me to try it out!
  Both two main characters are played by two very suitable actors. James Spader looks exactly like the guy you wouldn't expect to torture and dominate his women ; handsome, somewhat socially successful but still his eyes hide a very twisted sexuality. Maggie Gyllenhaal is stunning ; she manages to portray something psychologically wrong inside her but still be very sexy without having to be naked!
Must watch this : with your girlfriend in order to convince to try some of that shit in this movie. It's a nice experiment!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/?ref_=nv_sr_2

So hot. Literally!

Mail this to your mother now!

Eyes wide slut

The Graduate (1967)

  College graduate Benjamin finds himself in a messy and confusing summer when he starts a sexual relationship with much older Mrs. Robinson. Things get real messed up when Benjamin begins to fall in love with Elaine, Mrs. Robinson's daughter...
  Before watching this film, I was expecting to see something like "Hot mature woman artistically seduces young guy-Hot sex". In reality, it was 30 minutes of that and the rest 90 minutes it was a vast trip into the confused mind of Benjamin. Mike Nichols avoids the trap his own film placed and draws a beautiful painting of what it is to be a young person about to start your own life. A little bit of booze,a little bit of sex, alittle bit of drugs abut after that, what is there?!
  Dustin Hoffman hits the nail on the head. He manages to portray his character too goo. One time he is a horny college boy who just graduated and then he finally starts becoming a man and takes a life-changing decision. Katharine Ross is the equally lost girl he chooses and Anne Bancroft is her mother who got a taste of the honey before giving it to her daughter. I would have chosen the mother but then again what do I know?!
Must watch this : with your hot mature neighbor from next door. Ask for help with a recipe and let her seduce in her kitchen! Then eat the meal she so beautifully cooked.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061722/

My friend's hot mom

So, what are we doing today? Teacher-student?

Wedding crusher-ed

Vertigo (1958)

  After an unfortunate case, San Francisco detective John Ferguson retires saddened and struck by intense acrophobia. An old friend contacts him in need of his help, as his wife is acting worryingly strange. Trying to find his old self, John Ferguson risks to lose what is left of his sanity with this new case...
  For some, Vertigo is Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece, the epitome of his masterful work. And rightly so, since this film is an on-going slow process through intense thrill shocks. Hitchcock manages to administer the perfect combination of post-film noir atmosphere, psychological thriller and mystery, all smartly given in the seemingly innocent form of a love story. We couldn't expect anything less from little Alfred, the master of playing with emotions...
  James Stewart is a genius; he manages to interact so much with the viewer that even a nimrod could understand his psychological breakdown inside. His anxious puppy eyes together with the shaky and inconfindent posture magnificently shows a man distress and on the verge of breaking down any minute now. That's why Kim Novak gets to appear so screen-dominant, giving more air to the whole vibe of "something does not feel right" with the ease of a femme fatale.
Must watch this : on a cold winter night, with a glass of hot mulled wine and a sweetheart for company.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052357/

Did I turn off the cooker?

We changed the eyebrow game for good

Imma kill this bitch right now

Capriccio (1987)

  An American couple who met each other during the World War II, they return to the island Capri for vacation. The failures in their marriage force them to search for their past love affairs with whom they had both kept contact. When these fail too, they understand they are meant for each other...
  This is not one of Tinto Brass' best films but it's still very good and much better than most of the classic romantic films we know. Stepping far away from the romantic formula, this film even dares to walk in pornographic paths that may deceit the amateur viewer so as to appear as just porn. The story and the intense dialogues together with an amazing cinematography prove the complete opposite.
  Just like any lewd director is supposed to do, Tinto Brass chooses only the best and the better looking actors and actresses he can and in this film he maintains to do so. Nicola Warren, Andy J. Forest, Francesca Dellera, Isabella Biagini and Vittorio Caprioli all dance a dance of extreme erotic emotions and situations that tingle the amorous neurons of your brain!
Must watch this :  on a rainy boring November afternoon. Make yourself an espresso con panna, grab a hot and steamy chocolate croissant and enjoy this film alone. Tinto gives lessons as to how love and sex should be!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092720/

#instadick

Yeah, and that's kind of how I created the first phone...

Da fuck old man?

Bachelor Party (1984)

  Rick Gassko is what you would define a devoted womanizer ; never cares too much about anything, always finds an opportunity to flirt and is always talking about women with his gang. When he decides to get married, his friends organize his bachelor party where he has to prove his loyalty and how serious he can be...
  Around a decade before movies about male friends and casual sex adventures started being catchy, Bachelor Party innocently set the standards! Neal Israel hasn't done such a great job (for a comedy about guys it could have been much funnier) but he took the tradition of the bachelor party and stretched to every extend to see which aspect can be humorous and which can't. The outcome is a casual 105 minutes of slapstick humor and lame puns which in the end leaves a smile on the viewer's face.
  Tom Hanks in his early steps is quite something. His energy and moves show a great bursting character and in the case of this film here, he appears as immature as the role wants him to be. His brother, William Tepper, is as iconic as he is and Tawny Kitaen is the lucky lady who gets to marry him. The rest of the gang is
Barry Diamond, Gary Grossman, Gradford Bancroft, Michael Dudikoff and Adrian Zmed and they are all out to get what hey have waited for so many years. Booze and hookers is the law!
Must watch this : when the most idiot of your friends decides to get married first (you know who that is even before that happens) from the gang. Get ideas about his bachelor party and no matter how much he protests against it, make this party one to be remembered! Just in case, make sure get the strippers' and hookers' phone number!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086927/

Family jewels

Ghandi's girls be practicing the Kama Sutra, partner

When a girl comes in at the party

Invasion of Astro-Monster (1965)

  A spaceship carrying two astronauts lands on Planet X which is near Jupiter. There the two astronauts discover that the planet is inhabited by the Xians who officially ask help from planet Earth to destroy the monster, King Ghidorah. Godzilla and Rodan are captured and sent to Planet X to aid them in their fight but little do humans know that they have just fallen into a trap...
  A fascinating entry in the story of Godzilla and his monster friends. Directed by Ishirô Honda, this film combines all the elements of a classic successful KaiJu film. The basic storyline of the film may be too progressive (aliens invading Earth etc.) but all the beautiful monsters work their way out. There's not a chance you can't fall in love with the special effects which however non-realistic show a great talent. And of course, don't miss Godzilla's busting into a gleeful dance when he defeats Ghidorah.
  Akira Takarada as Fuji may be too rough with his sister but he also has to save the entire planet together with his partner Nick Adams as Glenn. Akira Kubo saves the world by mistake when he can't even defend his love with Keiko Sawai, Fuji's sister. It is interesting how little drops of drama can work out so well with a heavy Sci-Fi story like that but hey, this is cinema after all!
Must watch this : lightly drunk on sake will do the trick. Remember to accompany with noodles or sushi (choice is yours) and friends who won't laugh too hard with the film's special effects!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059346/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Oh, yeah! We are gettin' high indeed

Flying monsters with electric beams! Welcome to Japan fantasy

Hahahaha, it tickles there. Stop!

Adventureland (2009)

  1987. James has just graduated from college and is getting ready for his Euro-trip when he finds out that his family has to move and they no longer can afford his trip. Without any friends but only a bag of pre-rolled joints, he gets a "nowhere" job at an amusement park. After a while he finds out that it is not that bad and that this was actually what he needed to enter the real world!
  Greg  Mottola, mostly known for his movie Superbad, directs this seemingly no-worth-watching adolescent flick. A classic twist with a romance simply lets down but it turns out better in the end. What this film lacks in originality, it pays out tenfold in feel-good vibes from different combinations of drama and comedy. A nice soundtrack comes to bind it together and breathe an air of 80's reminiscing!
  Jesse Eisenberg plays the usual shy,intellectual kid with zero social skills that eventually becomes a man with the help of Kristen Stewart (I never thought her name would be in this blog but hey!), another usual teenager with depression and confused as fuck. Other notable actors make their appearance but this movie circles around these two. I may not appreciate their acting too much but I will respect them for displaying emotions and situations to which all common people can relate.
Must watch this : on a hot and lazy summer afternoon with a small joint ready and some cool lemonade. Watch it with your crush and let the herbs do their thing.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1091722/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

We gonna kiss or what?

Look at all these people blazin' that dank kush!

Initiating psychedelic sequence

Forrest Gump (1994), by Silent Guardian

  The interesting story of "Forrest, Forrest Gump" as he used to say, born with mental retardation and leg problems. Doctors advise his mother that "he just ain't like the other kids" but she thinks otherwise.Forrest goes to school, meets Jenny (the one and only girl of his life), goes to college, plays for the football team and then Vietnam! He parts ways with Jenny and  from there Forrest lives his Odyssey : Medal of Honor, Ping Pong Championships, Shrimp Company "Bubba-Gump" ,running throughout the States etc. In a sudden twist, Jenny comes back to his life and out she goes again!
  Ah, Forrest Gump... What can we say about this film?? My most favorite one by far... It teaches us about love, willingness, true things that value and have no "value" such as: true friendship, determination and dumb intelligence. Director Robert Zemeckis gives us this masterpiece, filled with comedy and drama in different combinations! "Lieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company. So then I got a call from him, saying we don’t have to worry about money no more. And I said, that’s good! One less thing." 
  Tom Hanks in the role of his life, though he "never  went full retard" and Robin Wright always playing "Catch me if you can" with him. Filled with social messages and advice on a happier life (wisdom , dumb intelligence,success and how to handle it,love and friendship) all bound together by the most astonishing soundtrack ever. 
Must watch this: with your friend parissleep, or any other best friend you have, laughing, eating nachos and fonzies, with natural orange juice on a summer afternoon.Feel happy until the next bad moment comes. When it does, blast that shit and feel happy again. 
Alternate must watch this: sometime in future, with your kids, and your wife laying on the bed... After you have educated your children well, go to bed with your wife, and fondle her breasts and her curvy spots, making her feel sexy as Jenny. And then remind her that, this life is only for once. We have to be happy, no matter what.
***Specially devoted to: parissleep and my family, which may have been apart for 7 years now, but I will never forget the nights we're watching this film together, and the messages that I got, especially from my father.
Trailer.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109830/fullcredits?ref_=tt_cl_sm#cast 

Mothafuckas gonna run now

Excuse me, sir? Did you order any democracy?

You better not run again now, Jeh-nny