The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

  Detective Sherlock Holmes and his assistant, Doctor Watson, are assigned to a peculiar case ; a nobleman's life is threatened when he visits a property which will soon be inherited by him. The actual threat is an old legend that has a wild dog from hell roaming the grounds and killing all members of the Baskerville family...
  Hammer Films' prolific studios were suppliers of quality horror movies such as this throughout the 50's and the 60's. In this movie, the famous book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is brought to life. Terence Fisher goes behind the wheel once again and brings us a pure vintage and classy mystery film that is hard not to like. In my humble opinion, it is unfortunate that horror films evolved into something so much different than these productions. I miss the storytelling and the visual effects and I miss getting scared by something other than just sudden sound effects!
  The combination of actors in this film couldn't fail even if they wanted to. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee have appeared in so many Hammer films together that it is almost impossible to see one and not think of the other. While they usually play rivaling characters, here Cushing is actually helping Lee stay alive and intact. André Morell follows and makes sure every clue is collected and Marla Landi is the mandatory female character in the story. And guess what; she is a tricker!
Must watch this : on a windy night. Turn off any lights in your house and light up a candle. Cook up a mushroom velvet soup and enjoy this fucker with a side drink of brandy.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052905/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

Should we order pizza or chinese? Now, there's a question...

-What's that smell? - Not me

I told you, man. They be blazing it hard over here

The Horror of Frankenstein (1970)

  The story of young scientist Victor Frankenstein whose passion with anatomy led him to perform abnormal experiments. Collecting spare parts from dead bodies and using the powers of electricity, Frankenstein aims to be able to give life to what is already dead. And he finally, succeeds....
  Times were a-changing and so Frankenstein had to do! Directed by Jimmy Sangster, this film had nothing to do with the previous and following of the series, starring Peter Cushing. In an attempted fresh new start, Frankenstein is young, mean and totally self-oriented while the film is much more cult than the rest from Hammer studios. The monster could have been better but no hard feelings since the atmosphere is satisfying. More sex, more gore and more exploitation. This film may have been the start of a change for Hammer Studios!
  Ralph Bates manages to stand very well in the shoes of his predecessor and while his character deserves some love in the end, he manages to portray a ruthless, sadistic figure who kills everyone that stand in his way. Veronica Carlson is sadly in love with him, not seeing the monster he really is and Graham James is his friend and colleague until he was no longer needed. Surprise appearance by Dennis Price and voluptuous Kate O'Mara who steals any scene she is in.
Must watch this : on the last day of summer when you feel the weather changing and the cold of winter coming in the distance. Make a hefty cup of Earl Grey tea and enjoy this film like a cold-hearted Briton !
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065851/

Not even the  lemon drops in my eyes seem to work

It's gonna bust

It's all you, bro! You can lift it!

Castle of Blood (1964) a.k.a Danza Macabra

  Journalist Alan Foster argues with Edgar Allan Poe about the authenticity of his stories and in the end the journalist accepts an abnormal bet by a Lord Blackwood ; he has to survive one night in a haunted castle on the night of All Soul's Eve. Much to the journalist's disbelief, spirits and ghost of those murdered there start to appear and re-enact how they were murdered...
  From the golden era of Italian gothic horror, comes this fine film by master Antonio Margheriti. Sergio Corbucci also leaves a small trace in this atmospheric trip into the twilight zone. Ghost legends and stories about murder were always fascinating and Castle of Blood exploits that human niche for paranormal entities in the spookiest of ways. The atmosphere and tensity of the film is elevated to another level by the astounding goth settings that give a higher tone of credibility to the story.
  Georges Rivière plays the journalist who so bravely entered the ghost castle and fell in love with a ghost pretending to be alive, the magnificent Barbara Steele. Margrete Robsahm, Arturo Dominici and Silvano Tranquilli (as Edgar Allan Poe) fill up the remaining seats but once again the awe-inspiring posture of Barbara Steele once again leads the dance of the dead!
Must watch this : on an unholy summer night, light up the most red candles you can find and dim all lights as much as possible. Invite your unholy girl, serve the most ghostly sweet red wine and proceed with the seance of watching this film. After the initial seance,continue with a sexual seance under the influence of the unholy fuzz .
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057993/

Now where did I stash the opium?

How about a triple play, ladies?

You stole my bra, bitch!

The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)

  Totally broke, Dr.Frankenstein returns to Karlstaad and starts his experiments once again in his family castle. He requires the assistance of a hypnotist called Zoltan in order to reanimate the creature, but Zoltan has other plans for it. He orders it to wreak havoc in town for his own profit and Frankenstein has to stop them both...
  Freddie Francis' first attempt at directing seems to have paid off just fine. Recreating and enhancing the dark persona of Dr.Frankenstein, Francis puts his own touch to the film legend. All the gothic and the Sci-Fi elements are there but this time we get an extra dosage of mysticism and parapsychology which definitely makes the film gloomier and more dangerous. A fine film with a smooth progress that doesn't let you get bored.
  Peter Cushing once again as Dr.Frankenstein and this time he sees his creations being abused by some other malevolent personality besides him. His arch enemy, Peter Woodthorpe blends in effortlessly in the film's mood. Katy Wild as the beggar girl and Sandor Elès as Frankenstein's assistant complete the main cast of this mesmerizing flick!
Must watch this : on a hot summer evening with a plate full of fish and chips. I don't know why but it seems like a good combination with this film.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058073/

Listen, I got a plan. We will spy on Mrs. Frankenhooker tonight. Totally incognito!

I am the master of espionage

Should I do a pedicure as well?

Horror Of Dracula (1958) a.k.a Dracula

  After Jonathan Harker's failed attempt to murder Dracula in his castle, he flees to a nearby town and starts preying on Harker's fiancée. Doctor Van Helsing joins the fight against Dracula and he seems to be the only one able to protect her and strike a definitive blow to the vampire's heart...
  Classic Hammer Productions director Terence Fisher brings one of the most classic and most complete films in the cinema legend of Dracula.Back then, Hammer Films weren't yet evolved in what we all came to love and that is obvious in the settings and the mood of the film. You can witness the slow transformation, the turning into a very good production and you can see that this movie still didn't have those. But that doesn't mean that this film is not as good as the others. On the other hand, this film is the father!
  A long and fruitful legendary friendship and co-operation started with this film as this was the first time Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing met as arch enemies (in The Curse of Frankenstein they weren't sworn enemies). Paying total respect to Bram Stoker's work, the two actors together with the rest of the cast (Melissa Stribling, Michael Gough, Carol Marsh etc) present a fine work of professionalism and passion for the Gothic horror!
Must watch this : for some reason this movie goes well with a plateful of the good ol' goulash, a pint of smooth Indian Pale Ale and a pipe filled with  fine tobacco! Enjoy alone on a random night and make the night your faithful bitch!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051554/

Help me, please. I don't know any geography!

Dear diary, if I wasn't a vampire hunter I would definitely want to be a pornstar!

Get it off me, please!

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

  Introvert and socially awkward detective Ichabod Crane is sent to Sleepy Hollow to investigate the the murders of 3 people. All three were beheaded and during his stay there, the bodies start to pile up. Soon, Ichabod will find out that he is in the middle of a carefully planned assassination plan that has much darker motives than he ever thought...
  Tim Burton goes beyond all borders and directs probably the best pure horror movie of the 90's. Creating an eerie web of witchcraft and dark folklore and setting it in an atmosphere where grey is the lightest color, Burton manages to give you the creeps without using any cheap tricks. The amazing photography and carefully executed settings make the film more realistic and so believable.The gloomy mood of the film sets the bar high, takes you by the balls and drags you through its muddy forests.
  Johnny Depp ,sometimes, is more than the pretty boy that every girl loves. He has great talent when it comes to impersonating weird characters and he is the only one who could star in this film for sure. Christina Ricci and Miranda Richardson are equally good in their roles, giving amazingly heavy performances. Michael Gambon and Christopher Walken complete the cast for this masterpiece of modern goth horror film!
Must watch this : on a frightful night when outside there is heavy, unstoppable rain and strong wind. Dim the lights, lights some candles, make some Bloody Mary and enjoy this with your girlfriend in your arms. Let the weather combine with the movie and put you in its creepy mood.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162661/

I did it! I pleased her on her red days!

Hey man, why don't you gimme some of dat dope

What the first guy said ! I did it too!

Twins Of Evil (1971)

  Τwins Maria and Frieda are sent to live with their uncle, Gustav Weil, who leads the local fight against vampirism and witchcraft. His main enemy is Count Karnstein but he is untouchable due to his social status. The Count tries to seduce the twins to his dark castle and include them in his devilish rituals but one of them is more attracted to it than the other...
  Prolific director John Hough brings us this interesting addition to the empire that is gothic horror films of Hammer! The atmosphere seems darker than in most Hammer films, the tone is set to gloomy and bucolic, all the usual actors are there and now the female threat is double! For me, the ritual scenes were something refreshing and made the film flow much cooler!
  Peter Cushing could not be absent from this film either. His classic style of acting is even more obvious, given the fact that Damien Thomas, his arch enemy, is also quite good at luring and enticing Madeleine and Mary Collinson,who are just two cutie pies that got in the wrong village.
Must watch this : on a cool September night, when the weather has just started cooling off from the hot summer. Let the cool breeze hug you and push you deeper into the film's foggy woods. Be sure to take some lunch with you!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069427/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

"I bite" "I don't"

Dear Lord Satan, thank you for this fine piece of ass that you have blessed me with

Da fuq is that?

The Vampire Lovers (1970)

  A countess leaves her daughter, Marcilla, with General von Spielsdorf so that she can go away and look after her sick friend. During Marcilla's stay in the Spieldorf house, their daughter gets suspiciously sick and and weak. When Marcilla goes to stay at another house, the same situation occurs there too. Legends and rumors start to spread about an old vampire family...
  Directed by the legendary Roy Ward Baker, this flick is one of the most atmospheric and gothic Hammer films. As always, amazing settings and story that bind together by some glorious photography and even more stunning performances. The overall mood is something like the feeling of being alone in the woods with the first cold autumn breeze blowing and you get the feeling that someone is after you! This movie is that good!
  Peter Cushing as always is the card that guarantees a good Hammer Film production. Kate O' Mara and Madeline Smith make the vampire world a better place with the classy beauty and Ingrid Pitt needs an collection of poems in her name to describe and glorify her venomous seductive stare! You can't miss it if you are a fan of true Gothic horror or at least a fan of vampire horror!
Must watch this : on the coldest night of October when the wind is blowing satisfyingly cold and the humidity is at right level! Set the mood with some red candles and red wine, invite a girl friend over and have a blood orgy after the film with this unholy cup of blood flowing!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066518/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Wet dream again!

Alright, alright just suck it and leave me alone!

You gotta stake 'em bitches to the ground!

 

The Brides of Dracula (1960)

  Van Helsing, the known vampire hunter, returns to Transylvania in order to save the day once again. A young and innocent teacher on her way to her new position, sets free the horrors of the vampires by mistake. A seemingly easy task for Van Helsing, but will he make it?
  Hammer Films and quality horror stories go together like cocaine and waffles. Nothing can go wrong with Terence Fisher on the wheel, Price in the lead and a couple of classy female characters! The Gothic-Baroque vibe is intense, the dialogues are strong and sophisticated, the characters well-developed and the story imaginative and horrifying. And just for the thrill, you also get some young, sophisticated ladies to fill up the secondary roles.
  Peter Cushing, David Peel, Martita Hunt, Freda Jackson, Yvonne Monlaur and all the rest. All actors of a time long gone, actors of a different breed and culture for whom a role was their life. I can't write too much or I risk ruining their significance. Just watch the film and judge for yourself.
Must watch this : after a trip to Central Europe, maybe Czech Republic. Get all the Gothic and Baroque atmosphere you can, mix with memories of people and places from this trip and blend with a high-potent well-prepared glass of absinthe.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053677/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Shady motthafucka with a mustache eyefuckin' the shit out of you

Such a shame...

Is there something in my teeth?