Rio Bravo (1959)

  Small town Sheriff John T. Chance has to deal with a violent gang that terrorizes his town. When he the brother of the gang's leader is put behind bars, the attacks start becoming more common. The sheriff enlists the help of some local townspeople; a cripple, a drunk and a young wanna-be-gunfighter...
   Howard Hawks directs what seems to be just another average western/comedy/romance film. Very typical of that time but what is not typical is the addition of John Wayne in the cast. Having Wayne by its side, the film manages to spiral within the limitations of its genre but gives off a satisfying air of change. You know something was about to change in the genre by watching this film. All cliches are here but in a different way plus every persona in the story is cult enough to stand on its own. Cliches+cult personas=a good entertainment!
  John Wayne plays a role he had plenty of years by then to master. It is like Wayne does not even act (not in the negative kind of way) but simply acts as himself. Dean Martin clearly is more than your angelic voice but pulls through his role quite easily and pleasantly. Walter Brennan is the story's verbal punching bag and so brings a lot of humor especially when contradicted with young and fresh Ricky Nelson! Angie Dickinson plays the mandatory female role, mandatory due to production's politically-correctness, but I just can't see her at John Wayne's side!
Must watch this : on a hot summer afternoon, after having a light lunch of season vegetables. Chill out with your herbal iced tea and let the good times fire away.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053221/

Please, Senior. Stop looking at my wife!

Can I have an autograph,  Μr..Banderas?

I forgot my wallet. Let's rob the bank!

No Country For Old Men (2007)

  A hunter comes across a drug deal gone wrong and manages to snatch a briefcase full of money. Soon, a ruthless hitman who enjoys his job too much will be assigned to take him out. A primitively violent chase ensues...
   Something about the Coen brothers appears to be really sick and twisted and I mean it in the best of ways. Meaning, it takes a lot of ingenuity to film a movie like that but still in the end to be so ruthless as to deprive bot the viewer and the characters any consolation. Not to be misunderstood, this movie is a real piece of art but to enjoy it, buckle with patience and a more Taoist approach to viewing life and art.
  Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones and Kelly Macdonald. If it wasn't for such a cast, this film would not have been the same. Bardem's eyes are filled with a dark, unearthly thirst for murder while Brolin's gives off an air of "I got nothing to lose since I am already lost". Plus points for Tommy Lee Jones' amazing, rusty voice that is like a drone note giving you the heart note of the musical piece that is this film.
Must watch this : alone, definitely alone. With a cup of American coffee even if it's in the middle of the night.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477348/?ref_=nv_sr_1

You seem to not being needing this!

Is there gonna be booze?

Damn it. Another pill of Viagra will have to do it

Rango (2011)

  Rango, an "ordinary" pet chameleon, finds himself in the Mojave desert, in the town of Dirt, after an accident.For the first time, Rango gets to interact with other living creatures and has to find his true identity while trying to put an end in the misery of his fellow townspeople.
  Gore Verbinski's previous is indeed a bit on the childish side but this film, however juvenile it may seem it holds some serious lessons for adults in it. Through beautiful, fully-digitized animation techniques, Rango manages to get through his messages and create a good-vibe atmosphere for both kids and grown-ups. Extra points for the cheesy old Western films references!
  Johnny Depp in yet another one of his roles as an aloof and weird personality. He is quite enjoyable as the goofy lizard trying to pose as a real man-lizard and so is the rest of the cast; Isla Fisher, Ned Beatty, Alfred Molina, Bill Nighy and Stephen Root. It's also amazing in these films that each character gets to look like the actor-actress that gives their voice for this character. I guess technology never seizes to amaze me.
Must watch this : alone or with your friends for some quality time! Spend time to make a good dish and enjoy with the film and a cold Desperado beer.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1192628/?ref_=nv_sr_1

It wasn't me!

Lizard Van Gogh

10$ love you long time

Unforgiven (1992)

  After, two cowboys knife a prostitute in a small American town, the town's sheriff has the difficult task of throwing off any gunslinger coming to town to collect the prostitute's revenge bounty. An old-time criminal and killer decides to go on one last bad deed to save his children and his farm from poverty...
  The Unforgiven is a reminder that the old West is not yet won. Following a classic Western story and progress, Clint Eastwood fills up this film with much more elements that separate it from the genre of just-another-western-movie. Heavy emotion, characters run down by life, violence and pain give a more realistic mood to this western making it a beautiful combination of adventure and drama. Hats off to Clint Eastwood who proves himself with every film he directs.
  As a man who likes things into his own hands, Clint Eastwood also stars as the old and growing but once hard-case criminal who tiredly takes on this new job. Morgan Freeman follows him as his old-time partner and still good friend and Jaimz Woolvett is the annoying ambitious youngster who follows them but thinks that leads them. Gene Hackman very vividly portrays a gunslinger legend who now is the sheriff of this rusty town. Worlds collide and bullets give the answer!
Must watch this : on a random night when you are not getting any sleep. Have this playing and enjoy with a glass of milk. The emotion won't let you sleep afterwards but still it will be worth the trouble!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105695/

Wait, we gotta go back. I forgot my iPad

Hold it, please. I gotta run to the bathroom!

Come on asshole. Make my day!

The Wild Bunch (1969)

  Pike Bishop is the leader of an outlaw gang of aging criminals. After performing their latest job, the gang decides to retire  from their wild life. But their adventures are not over yet and they still have a long way to go into the Wild West...
  Legendary director Sam Peckinpah directs yet another legendary western film filled with intense and run-down characters in a filthy environment. Amazing and breathtaking background and adrenaline-packed scenes that let the characters evolve and unfold. This is where the not-so-cheesy punchlines get their special day and where bullets have the same power as balls!
  For such a film, Peckinpah would not allow the cast to be anything different than what he would choose. Enter William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, Ben Johnson, Warren Oates, Jaime Sánchez and master Emilio Fernández. Don't be surprised that women are not a big thing in this film. This is as manly as a manly western film can get, with ideals and concepts only pleasing to men. This is The Expendables only 40 years earlier!
Must watch this : have a big all-day party with all your dudes. Start with gymnastics and showing off, continue with a big ass all-meat barbeque and end with cigar and cognac session. Play this film right after the meat is ready and the beer is cold and flowing!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065214/

With these 2 coins I can buy your mother for a night!

This is borderline gay, guys...

How many Mexicans does it take to load a gun?

Take a Hard Ride (1975)

  Pike, an old-time criminal but currently honest worker, goes on a suicide mission to deliver $86,000 in payroll money to a ranch in Sonora, Mexico. His road meets with Tyree's, a no-good gambler who seems to want to get his hands on the cash and they both encounter desperate prostitute Catherine and her loyal ace martial artist half-breed companion Kashtok. Now, they both have to pass through the dangerous desert, facing Kiefe's wrath...
   Director Antonio Margheriti experiments with the mix of western and blaxploitation almost 40 years before Tarantino did. The result is  downright entertaining as Margheriti succeeds in maintaining every element of a western film that makes us happy but adding to it the easybreezy mood of a blaxploitation. Get ready for shootouts, desert, money, dynamite and lots of trash talk puns!
  A big plus for this film is the incredible energy between Jim Brown and Fred Williamson. Their chemistry is amazingly vivid throughout the film and certainly brings a feeling of true comradeship. Also amazing is the performance of Lee Van Cleef, the bad guy with the killer look and the million ways to kill you. Completing the cast is Catherine Spaak as the prostitute and Jim Kelly, the famous karate master, as her martially skilled companion. A fine choice of actors for a fine film!
Must watch this : on a really hot summer day with a two glasses of iced tea and a cigar. After the film do yourself a favor,get in your car and start going for the nearest beach and have this fiery bullet playing while you speed down the road!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073784/

Imma kill you with my look only

Damn, nigga. Never go full pimp out in the desert

Dat cactus kush really got me dry! Shiet!

Blazing Saddles (1974)

  The railway has to pass through an old rusty city and in order to scare the citizens, a corrupt political boss appoints a black sheriff hoping that the audacity will create anarchy. Unluckily for him, the new black sheriff teams up with the Waco Kid and they only mean business...
  Mel Brooks directs and plays in this whacky parody/spoof of old western movies. Being  a spoof, this movie has even more cliches than a normal western movie (sheriff, gangs, guns, saloon women etc) but all of them are satirized, sometimes crudely sometimes smoothly. The overall result is an easy-breezy western parody that makes a good laugh and gives a good mood!
  Cleavon Little plays the notorious black sheriff-pimp and Gene Wilder is his old gun legend friend, the Waco Kid. On the other side, there is Harvey Korman, the slimy corrupt politician, Slim Pickens as his stupid right hand and Mel Brooks, the ever-horny governor who was elected to fuck and not to read. Of course, we can't forget Madeline Kahn who finds her master in Bart's face!
Must watch this : watch it alone on hot summer morning with your coffee and breakfast. Start your day positively and then head directly to the beach and continue blazin'.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071230/

Nobody moves...I just shat myself.

Please, people maintain your cattle!

Whoever loses is an immigrant!

Seraphim Falls (2006)

  The great American outdoors, end of the Civil War. A fierce colonel and his group of gunmen hunt down through the wild nature a man with whom he has a deadly grudge. The hunted eliminates the colonel's men one by one until they are left alone to settle the debt...
   David Von Ancken , known T.V director (Californication) , tries his luck with modern western. Despite the fact that it was 40 years after the western era, this film could easily become a classic, given the right chance. All the quality elements are there ; strong character build, a great scenery of deserted and human-less nature, an amazing hunter-hunted story, a burning need for survival and violence!
  Most of the weight of the film also falls on the actors that made it happen. Main actors Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan show some real talent. You can feel the tension between them as one tries to kill the other to survive. Michael Wincott, Tom Noonan, and Ed Lauter also appear in major roles that support the two main protagonists.
Must watch this : on a cold November night to sympathize with the characters in the film. Get a glass of Jack Daniels, some tobacco for hand-rolled cigarettes and relax by the fire (or your heater ! ) .
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479537/?ref_=nv_sr_1

I listened to Disco Polo...

Heavy...

So, what will it be? 10$ for an hour, last chance

Brand Of Shame (1968)

  A school teacher arrives at a dusty old town with a map to a gold mine. She suddenly becomes the center of the city's attention and the lesbian dance-hall owner has an evil scheme to steal the map for herself...
  This film's alternate name is Nude Django! I bet that means a lot! Directed by trashy director Byron Mabe, this film takes another look in the western theme, the nude and sexy one. Not lacking in original set and costumes, Brand of Shame can easily fool you for a cheap western, until the fist boob appears that is.
  Come on, you are not here to see someone acting but to watch someone say a shitload of cheese pickup lines,  even cheesier1800's  lesbian sex and to have a laugh. Luckily, this film is a great laugh, Just open your mind and chill ; this is actual adult entertainment.
Must watch this : on a lazy summer afternoon, when you are too bored to watch a serious film and too bored to go out. Get a margarita and enjoy this. After the film, do yourself a  favor and go out! It's summer, god damn it!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0131985/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 

I am fabulous

Jerry, stop staring at my tits and clean the barn

WhoaPah!

 
 

Jeremiah Johnson (1972)

  Jeremiah Johnson, a Mexican war veteran, decides to leave society and live in the mountains as a trapper. His new life does not start so well and he even loses his wife and kid to vengeance after trespassing sacred Indian land. Without any choice, he starts a vendetta with the Crows...
  Sydney Pollack is no stranger to making great films and this one is one hell of a film. Breathtaking scenery (Rocky Mountains nature), a classic story of western revenge and a great set of downtrodden characters. Personally, it is one of the best westerns (besides Sergio Leone's classics) and a part of that comes out of the fact that this film was loosely based on a rea mountain man, Liver-Eating Johnson. Art imitating life? That's smart!
  Robert Redford is one tough motherfucker. Maybe not as tough as other western characters but he is one devoted, slightly depressed family man. Anyway, he gets shit done and he does so in the way he should. Hats off to Will Geer as well, who plays the role of an old-school mountain man who teaches Jeremiah all the tricks of the trade.
Must watch this : prepare a cup of the finest mountain herbal tea you can find, throw a huge ass stake on the grill and enjoy this film on a cold winter night by the fireplace (if you have one). While watching the film, polish your great great grandpa's rifle...
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068762/ 

Wanna buy some peyote?

Say, now...You look pretty

I got this at H&M, on sale...Real swag

 
 

Dead Man (1995)

  The wrong man in the wrong time, accountant William Blake ,after losing his chance at a job, gets caught up in a weird situation which results in him killing a man. On the run, trying to survive in the harsh American nature, he meets a Native American called Nobody who prepares for the next step of his life.
  Jim Jarmusch directs this poem of a film, a nostalgic black-and-white dream into the untold stories of the cowboys' era. Unique characters harmonically developed in 115 minutes, imprisoned by the complexes of their confused times (but then again what times weren't confusing?), captivated in an environment that looks out to kill them, all mystically bound together by old-time legends and Indian myths.
  Amazing cast, giving  life-time performances. Johnny Depp and Gary Farmer grab the wheel here with their unique style. Iggy Pop, Billy Bob Thornton, Alfred Molina and other notable actors fill up the rest of the scene and they all make one sick specimen of society. A must-see for anyone who appreciates anything tasteful.
Must watch this : on a windy November afternoon just as the sun sets. Leave the windows open to let the chill in, grab a well-done steak and your poison of choice and watch this alone or with a company that's worth it. Listen to that afterwards and let the darkness and cold take your mind away.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112817/

Allrighty then, I will swing by later.

I gotta lay off that weed for a while

Nope. Fuck it!