Check to the Queen (1969) a.k.a Scacco Alla Regina

  A disappointed young wife, bored with her life, decides to work for a strange actor/model for as long as her husband is away for business. Her duty is to assist the "signora" with anything she desires on a daily basis and, most of al, tolerate her obnoxious character without a complaint. But as their weird employer-employee relationship progresses, X will find out the darker truth inside herself; that she is only happy when she is dominated...
  Pasquale Festa Campanile is the director of this beautiful Italian film and I must admit I was not aware of his work before I watched it. The flick follows a classic recipe of Italian giallo without being a giallo ; the mood, the color, the music, the atmosphere are all there minus the "thriller" characteristic. No, "Scacco Alla Regina" is somewhere out there without fitting into an exact category ; sometimes humorous, somewhat cheesy, kinda sexy, surely classy and psychedelic, so...Yeah! You get the point. Hands down, this is a good film, not boring at all and certainly lets time flow but keeps you focused. Highly recommended for those bored of typical films about sexual and sensual domination!
  Since this is an Italian flick, I think I do not need to make a big introduction about the cast of the film, especially the ladies! Get ready to feast your eyes on some superb examples of what a Italian "donna" is. Our lady viewers can also find their prince here too, so better notes. Rosanna Schiaffino, Haydee' Politoff, Romolo Valli, Aldo Giuffre and Daniela Surina. Easy-going characters (well mostly) played by breezy actors so in the end you get a very smooth result. Don't expect any hardcore stuff here in terms of domination, only vanilla, stylish and everyday kinky vices. You gotta love that you will hate (and hate that you will love) the domina in this film, though! She is totally convincing and would definitely persuade you to obey her, for sure!
Must watch this : when you move into your first, new house. Let the exhaustion of moving and carrying all your things carry you in a chill out mood. Pour yourself some cold Vinsanto and enjoy!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166789/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

So, I told him " Well, yes, love! I am coming down immediately". And, yeah, he is downstairs waitin' 

There! Now you are a complete bowl of fruits!

Take that, you cheeky cunt!

Capriccio (1987)

  An American couple who met each other during the World War II, they return to the island Capri for vacation. The failures in their marriage force them to search for their past love affairs with whom they had both kept contact. When these fail too, they understand they are meant for each other...
  This is not one of Tinto Brass' best films but it's still very good and much better than most of the classic romantic films we know. Stepping far away from the romantic formula, this film even dares to walk in pornographic paths that may deceit the amateur viewer so as to appear as just porn. The story and the intense dialogues together with an amazing cinematography prove the complete opposite.
  Just like any lewd director is supposed to do, Tinto Brass chooses only the best and the better looking actors and actresses he can and in this film he maintains to do so. Nicola Warren, Andy J. Forest, Francesca Dellera, Isabella Biagini and Vittorio Caprioli all dance a dance of extreme erotic emotions and situations that tingle the amorous neurons of your brain!
Must watch this :  on a rainy boring November afternoon. Make yourself an espresso con panna, grab a hot and steamy chocolate croissant and enjoy this film alone. Tinto gives lessons as to how love and sex should be!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092720/

#instadick

Yeah, and that's kind of how I created the first phone...

Da fuck old man?

Cannibal Ferox (1981)

  A group of anthropologists take a journey in the jungles of Colombia hoping to prove that the traditional tribes are not cannibals. They stumble upon a band of drug dealers who use the natives to process the coca leaf. When the natives can't take no more, it's time for a bloody revenge...
  Banned in 31 countries until recently, this film is definitely not a treat for the virgin eyes. Umberto Lenzi spares no expenses in making yet another violently shocking cannibal film. The level of gore is more than the average and you get fancy little scenes of random mutilation, torture and some extra violence on animals (the last one is real). It is rightfully considered a classic in its genre but be warned ; if you are used to tomato-style blood in films maybe you are not ready for it yet!
  Giovanni Lombardo Radice, Lorraine De Selle, Danilo Mattei, Zora Kerova and Walter Lucchini. It's not a surprise many of the actors in the cast where billed with a fake name. Not all actors were confident enough to be sure that their name in a film of such gore and violence would not hurt their possible careers. Nevertheless, the Italian finesse (even in such a film) is visible in the actors' performances ; you can sense that beneath the filth and shock lies talent!
Must watch this : we all have our violent anger outbreaks every now and then. If not, then I should better check myself. The point is that during those outbreaks when you really need to strangle a motherfucker, it is better to put this film to play. You won;t be hurting anyone but still you will get he satisfaction that somebody is getting it, real hard and painful!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082700/

So, how about I show you girls this thing I was talking about the other day?

Da fuck did I do last night?

This sure don't look good

Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead (1980) Le Notti Erotiche Dei Morti Viventi

  A land developer buys an island and plans to build and operate a luxury hotel there. He gets to the island with his girlfriend and the captain that took them there. Soon, they meet a voodoo shaman couple who warns them that the island is cursed and staying there will be dangerous...
  This might just one of the most intriguing porn movie I have ever seen. And, yes, you got me ; It's a porn film (hardcore) but the profound presence of a story makes you forget all about it! Amazing, idyllic and tropic sceneries make the perfect spot for a porn movie but what happens when voodoo zombies start coming up, hungry for flesh? Well, Joe D'Amato really has the answer but you have to watch it to believe it. It's like a hot-and-cold shower ; one time hot, steamy sex scenes and the other horrifying, gory zombies!
  Laura Gemser seems like she was made for such roles! Even when she has to portray zero acting talent, she swags off the scenes with her nudity and amazing blank look on her eyes. George Eastman is also quite enjoyable and he had to be since this is his story, Dirce Funari is a classic minx and Mark Shannon got hired only for his mustache!
Must watch this :  if you watch it alone, it will be an amazing experience, since you will be watching porn with the most amazing plot twist. If you watch it with someone, your girlfriend might be the most suitable person. If she doesn't appreciate it, slap her back to her senses!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079642/

Oh, my baby is gonna love this!

We want meat, we want meat!

A goat, this babe here, and a cigar for you boat? It's a fair deal, white man!

Rabid Dogs (1974) a.k.a Cani Arrabbiati

  After performing a violent robbery, three criminals try to escape Rome without getting caught. They take a woman and her child hostage and hijack a middle-aged man's car and force him to drive them all out of Rome. Will the hostages manage to stay alive under the criminals' pressure?
  The master of Italian horror, Mario Bava,  returns and this time he triggers primitive thrilling motions with this fantastic film here. I seriously could not find a dissatisfying element in it, not even a story loop or an unneeded pause. This film throws you in the thriller bucket and lets you there until the very end when it decides it is done with you. Film endings like the one here is the reason I have no respect for contemporary cinema!
  Nothing is left to chance when Bava is on the wheel and definitely not the actors. Don Backy, George Eastman and Maurice Poli vividly play the criminals and it is magnificent how each one's personality clashes with the other's. Lea Landri and Riccardo Cucciolla are the unfortunate hostages. The tremendous thrilling emotion that escalates throughout the film is a work of both the directing and the acting and since most of the film takes place inside a car, I can only say congratulations to the actors for performing so good in such limited space.
Must watch this : eating pizza and drinking Pepsi Twist on a hot summer night with a couple of friends (not more or the feeling of the movie will be lost if there is noise) and try not to talk throughout the film. When the end comes, jump surprised and yell.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071275/

If you feel anything, don't be alarmed. It will probably be my gun

Told ya!

Shit, I found a bag. I wonder whose is it?

Ceremonia Sangrienta (1973) a.k.a The Legend of Blood Castle

  An ageing cursed Countess finds that the blood of young women seems to restore her long lost youth and beauty. She falls in love with a young man whom she gets to bring her fresh dead girls using his vampiric curse and her thirst for blood never ends...
  Quality horror director Jorge Grau leaves his mark on yet another jaw-dropping film. The film narrates the story of Countess Bathory who allegedly bathed in the blood of young girls in order to stay young. Using a profound heavy atmosphere with silent and slow dialogues, the Grau manages to create a beautiful frightening  mood, like a sense that someone is after you. There is some nudity (of course, this is Europe) and some delightfully handled gore that definitely adds to the Gothic morale of the film.
  Lucia Boséius just the right person for playing Erzebeth Bathory. Her posture is magnificent and she seems to move like a real Countess. Espartaco Santoni is not such a good vampire but he gives real credit to his character while Ewa Aulin is the classic minx that can make even living dead fall in love with her. If it weren't for the actors' serious performances, the film would have been much more trashy and the whole horror quality would have been thrown down the drain!
Must watch this : on a rainy October night, alone with only a glass of sweet red wine.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068352/

Oh, yeah! Suffocate me!

Period Strike!

Here comes the airplane! Open up!

Samson and the Slave Queen (1963) a.k.a Zorro Contro Maciste

  The two nieces of late Nogara's King, Isabella and Malva, battle for the succession of the throne. Each one chooses a worthy hero to produce the will that will solve all matters. While Malva's ways are too malevolent, her strongman hero, Samson, eventually teams up with El Toro of Isabella to bring justice...
  Italian master Umberto Lenzi in one of his first films paves the way for future creations in the same category. The fairy tale-like atmosphere that the film creates is unique and is not for little girls only. With just the right scenes of sword-fighting and man-to-man wrestling, this film easily puts you in a feel-good mood with its simple storyline and classic but not boring plot twist. A manly adventure fantasy film for the sentimental but macho men out there!
  Pierre Brice plays El Toro a.k.a Zorro in this film and while his character's presence is not so dominant in the film, he smoothly co-stars Alan Steel as Samson a.k.a Maciste. This film is all about him, his jacked-up chest and ginger hair and his ultra-human power. Maria Grazia Spina beautifully plays Isabella, the good and naive of the two successors while Moira Orfei |(my personal favorite) is the foxy and cunning evil niece!
Must watch this : on a scorching hot day with chilli con carne and good lager beer. Turn on all the fans and air condition in the house, call up your friends, take a couch each and enjoy without moving a muscle!
Teaser Duel
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057467/

Damn, that hold-your-breath trick does not work

No, he found my Fap Cave

Huzzah!

Tarzana, the Wild Girl (1969) a.k.a Tarzana, Sesso Selvaggio

  News of a Kenyan tribe having elected a white girl as their queen reach Sir Donovan's ears, whose daughter was lost in the jungle fifteen years agio together with her mother and other relatives during a plane accident. In his last attempt to see if he can rescue any relative still alive, Sir Donovan gathers a rescue team...
  Tarzana is a stupid little film by Italian Guido Malatesta but have no worries. Although super cheap and super cheesy, this film manages to deliver the right doses of exploitation satisfaction that one may seek when watching such a flick. The story though classic fails to reach an interesting peak and throughout the film you can see cheap inserted stock footage. Don't set the bar too high and this flick might just do the trick for you!
 Ken Clark is the hot stud leading the expedition and the ever-horny Franca Polesello is Donovan's representative. Franco Ressel is the greedy asshole and Raf Baldassarre is the rapist of the group but of course the film is dedicated to Femi Benussi a.k.a Tarzana who is naked throughout the whole 82 minutes. Be careful to notice Beryl Cunningham's gangbangish jungle dance!
Must watch this : with friends otherwise it may be too boring. First, go to your neighborhood's low-cost super market and get ultra cheap and seemingly tropic juices, freeze them and enjoy as smoothie during the film!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065070/

Don't panic but I just got my period

Nude beach virgin

Oh, snap! I've been shot!

Castle of Blood (1964) a.k.a Danza Macabra

  Journalist Alan Foster argues with Edgar Allan Poe about the authenticity of his stories and in the end the journalist accepts an abnormal bet by a Lord Blackwood ; he has to survive one night in a haunted castle on the night of All Soul's Eve. Much to the journalist's disbelief, spirits and ghost of those murdered there start to appear and re-enact how they were murdered...
  From the golden era of Italian gothic horror, comes this fine film by master Antonio Margheriti. Sergio Corbucci also leaves a small trace in this atmospheric trip into the twilight zone. Ghost legends and stories about murder were always fascinating and Castle of Blood exploits that human niche for paranormal entities in the spookiest of ways. The atmosphere and tensity of the film is elevated to another level by the astounding goth settings that give a higher tone of credibility to the story.
  Georges Rivière plays the journalist who so bravely entered the ghost castle and fell in love with a ghost pretending to be alive, the magnificent Barbara Steele. Margrete Robsahm, Arturo Dominici and Silvano Tranquilli (as Edgar Allan Poe) fill up the remaining seats but once again the awe-inspiring posture of Barbara Steele once again leads the dance of the dead!
Must watch this : on an unholy summer night, light up the most red candles you can find and dim all lights as much as possible. Invite your unholy girl, serve the most ghostly sweet red wine and proceed with the seance of watching this film. After the initial seance,continue with a sexual seance under the influence of the unholy fuzz .
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057993/

Now where did I stash the opium?

How about a triple play, ladies?

You stole my bra, bitch!

Serpico (1973)

  The film tells the true story of Frank Serpico, a young police officer who is more than ambitious to become a detective. Working his way up to his target, he realizes his line of work is full of corrupt policemen. Serpico goes on and uncovers one of the biggest corruption schemes in the force and becomes a bad guy for all his comrades...
  Al Pacino in his golden years in a film directed by Sidney Lumet.You know what you are getting! Intense emotional escalation and vivid and realistic characters in a story that is more true than the air that we breathe. Serpico was way ahead of its time but still belongs in its time. Had it been filmed in another era, it wouldn't even shake a leaf. So, perfectly positioned in a transcending time of the human race and exploiting basic issues of the times (racism, xenophobia, corruption and dignity), this film manages to give a strong kick in the balls of the educated viewer.
  Al Pacino is the ever-clean cop with a vision of a fair and respectful police force that watches as his hope fades away within thousands of dirty dollars. Facing many double-faced corrupt colleagues, he goes and does what he must with the help of his trusted friends like Tony Roberts and John Randolph. His devotion almost has him killed but after all who doesn't want to be the Serpico in his line of work?
Must watch this : on a random night with the drink of your choice and a fine female company by your side. It's a good start to not scare her with your taste in films!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070666/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Yes, I am a cop. Why the weird looks?

Maybe I should grow a beard!

Beard might have been the wrong choice

The Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978) a.k.a La Montagna Del Dio Cannibale

 Susan's anthropologist husband gets lost in the New Guinean jungle. In an attempt to save him, she convinces her brother and one of her colleagues to join her in an jungle expedition. Early inside their jungle trip, they get attacked by a cannibal tribe and saving their lives becomes a vital priority...
  Legendary Italian director Sergio Martino is not afraid to go all the way in this classic cannibal film. The colourful jungle forest scenes make the the film more vividly believable and the addition of a cult-fully presented tribe elevate it to another cult status. The 103 minutes of the film are alive with shocking violence between humans but also between animals and humans. Those with a taste for animal rights better stay away as this is no documentary and the animal blood is real!
  Ursula Andress is utterly enjoyable and breathtaking (as usual) as the classic bimbo scream queen that faces danger but still finds a way out of it by flashing her beauty. Stacy Keach finds the right balance between a macho and a city person but in the end his macho swag comes out and saves the day. An overall good experience acting-wise way far from the coldness of Hollywood. Viva Italia!
Must watch this : with a fresh exotic salad and a Mai Tai on a random summer afternoon. After the film, go to the beach and try not turning into a cannibal with everything you see there!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077945/

You came to wrong turf, motherfucker

Hmm Hmm. sweet black thing!

Bite the stick. It's gonna hurt

The Inconsolable Widow Thanks All Those Who Consoled Her (1973) a.k.a La Vedova Inconsolabile Ringrazia Quanti La Consolarono

   Catarina Prevosti's husband get tragically killed in a car accident and leaves her with grief and a huge amount of cash that legally is not hers. In order to get hold of the money, her plotting mother will convince her to get pregnant within a month and convince the lawyers that she is carrying her late husband's baby...
  Italian producers and directors said let's thrive in another genre besides Giallo, Horror and Western and so they started to experiment with Sex Comedies. This film here is a fine example of this genre since it's both exploitation and somewhat of quality. Mariano Laurenti directs and the story falls in the same category with American Pie but with the distinctive difference that this one here took actual humans to write and there is a hint of a twisted plot. So, if you are open-minded enough to take a lewd sexual pun or two and you are ready to laugh with stretched social situations, give it a try.
  Edwige Fenech is delightful to watch and goes smoothly from a poor widow with an apt for good acting to a bitch that has to have her money. I wouldn't want her to be my wife (I wouldn't mind something else, though), that's for sure! Carlo Giuffrè, Didi Perego, Guido Leontini and Pino Ferrara all bind perfectly together in this tragic/comical 98 minutes filled with steamy vibrations.
Must watch this : with Italian friends, thin crust pizza and lemonade on a random summer evening.
Whole Movie
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072356/

You want a piece of this?

Why do I have to wear so many clothes?

Bite the pillow!

A Fistful of Dollars (1964) a.k.a Per Un Pugno Di Dollari

  A mysterious gunslinger with no name arrives in a rusty old town by the Mexican border. He soon sees that the town is torn apart by a burning hatred between the two leading families there. He decides to fuel the fire for his own profit...
  The film that started it all! Sergio Leone puts his mark on the beginning film of the so-called trilogy of the Man with no name.There's guns a-blazing, wind a-blowing and sand a-covering everything on this masterpiece of film art. Heavy atmosphere (like the one you get when too much testosterone come around) that makes you take the movie seriously from the start and a fast-pacing plot that won't let you take your mind from it. I don't think there is anything more compelling than western films like this especially when the soundtrack (by Ennio Morricone) is equally breathtakingly good!
  As always, Clint Eastwood is amazing and presents a flawless depiction of his character. Swift and cunning, he takes on his enemies one by one. Gian Maria Volonté, Antonio Prieto, Sieghardt Rupp and Wolfgang Lukschy meet their master in his face and regret their hate-driven lives. And since there had to be a woman role to ease the mood, Marianne Koch fits perfect right in the middle!
Must watch this : call up your real men friends (make sure they are real men) and enjoy this film while sampling cigars and bourbon on hot summer night!
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058461/

I don't want to talk about it, all right?

MmmmHmmm, dat ass!

Put down the bag!