The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

  Detective Sherlock Holmes and his assistant, Doctor Watson, are assigned to a peculiar case ; a nobleman's life is threatened when he visits a property which will soon be inherited by him. The actual threat is an old legend that has a wild dog from hell roaming the grounds and killing all members of the Baskerville family...
  Hammer Films' prolific studios were suppliers of quality horror movies such as this throughout the 50's and the 60's. In this movie, the famous book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is brought to life. Terence Fisher goes behind the wheel once again and brings us a pure vintage and classy mystery film that is hard not to like. In my humble opinion, it is unfortunate that horror films evolved into something so much different than these productions. I miss the storytelling and the visual effects and I miss getting scared by something other than just sudden sound effects!
  The combination of actors in this film couldn't fail even if they wanted to. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee have appeared in so many Hammer films together that it is almost impossible to see one and not think of the other. While they usually play rivaling characters, here Cushing is actually helping Lee stay alive and intact. André Morell follows and makes sure every clue is collected and Marla Landi is the mandatory female character in the story. And guess what; she is a tricker!
Must watch this : on a windy night. Turn off any lights in your house and light up a candle. Cook up a mushroom velvet soup and enjoy this fucker with a side drink of brandy.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052905/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

Should we order pizza or chinese? Now, there's a question...

-What's that smell? - Not me

I told you, man. They be blazing it hard over here

The Wicker Man (1973)

  A policeman is sent via seaplane to a Scottish island where a young girl is supposed to be reported missing. The few people living on the island are more than unwilling to help him find the girl. When the pieces of the puzzle start falling together, the policeman will hope he had never set foot on the island...
   Robin Hardy had a great vision when he first wrote and directed this film. Even now, 41 years later, this director has not stopped working on this film's sequels so as to complete his so-dreamed of trilogy. Combining such thrilling themes as modern paganism and bloody pagan rites, the Wicker Man never lets the viewer drift off from the amazing mystery mood. An amazing soundtrack was written to accompany this "nature-loving, people-burning, orgy-organizing" film along its stony way. Too bad it was remade with Nicholas Cage starring in it!
  Edward Woodward is simply amazing and manages to portray vividly the anger, fury, anxiety and devotion of a strict police officer in a mouse-and-cat chase. Christopher Lee takes a different road than the one we have known him for and does his trick again; legend has it he never accepted any payment for his performance. And since it's a British film and it's the sexy 70's Britt Ekland, Diane Cilento and Ingrid Pitt could not be absent from this flesh feast!
Must watch this :  naked and au naturelle on a sunny spring afternoon preferably on the first of May. Watch it alone or with a female companion and of course the obligatory fruits, bread and wine in order to sacrifice on the Walpurgisnacht to please the gods of fertility.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

Motherfuckers?! Did you start an orgy without me?

There there!

Clam down, ladies. There is enough for all!

The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968)

  Fu Manchu has found a strange species of snake whose venom only affects. In his powerful master plan, he inoculates ten women with this venom in order to poison ten male leaders, bring chaos in the world and eventually preparing millions of doses for his world domination...
  Even on meager budget Jess Franco once again proves not only that he can make a film but also that he can make a good film without depending too much on nudity and drugs. Exploiting the persona of the notorious villain Fu Manchu, Franco creates a thrilling adventure with intense scenes, of course a minimum amount of nudity and epic pulp characters and dialogues. Another underground classic by a perverted mind...
  Much of the film's success (or call it whatever you want) depends and can be attributed to Christopher Lee. Even under shitty situation and sarcastic roles, Lee manages to sustain a classy character and dominate most of the space that he can take. And since it's a Franco film, presences like Maria Rohm, Loni von Friedl, Shirley Eaton and Tsai Chin could not be absent!
Must watch this :  with your stoner friends, a bowl half-full of the best Buddha Haze you can find and sugar-full soda drinks! Get high, get cranked and start growing Fu Manchu beards under the tunes of those fuzzy bastards.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062741/

Dat ass!

Bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt

You definitely don't look Chinese!

Secret of the Red Orchid (1962) a.k.a Das Rätsel der Roten Orchidee

  Several wealthy Britons are being blackmailed all over Great Britain and two rival Chicago gangs are in the eye of the police. The gangs leave no trace behind them and so the difficult task is left to Scotland Yard's and F.B.I's finest, Inspector Weston and Captain Allerman...
  In yet another Edgar Wallace story, Helmut Ashley (a director known for his T.V work) does his best and provides a stunning result that can satisfy even the most demanding eye. Even though the story is not top-notch material, photography and directing give it a little push to stand on its own. Definitely not the best Wallace-based film but sure one you can easily enjoy.
  Adrian Hoven and Christopher Lee are the two investigators who are set out to find the extortioners and naturally Lee's appearance in the film guarantees quality acting. Klaus Kinski is once again morbidly entertaining with his unearthly look and adds up to Lee's figure and Marisa Mell takes it away with her stunning looks. Eddi Arent is the light-hearted one of the group and is absolutely humorous!
Must watch this :  invite the sophisticated girl from last night once again for another round of a sophisticated bohemian film noir night. Ask her to bring red wine with her. If she does, then prepare for a night of sophisticated seduction. If not, just enjoy the film anyway!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055391/

I would tap you if you weren't so skinny

Am I the only one around here who thinks we should bring strippers?

Yes! Because a coat brings swift agility for a night thief!

Horror Of Dracula (1958) a.k.a Dracula

  After Jonathan Harker's failed attempt to murder Dracula in his castle, he flees to a nearby town and starts preying on Harker's fiancée. Doctor Van Helsing joins the fight against Dracula and he seems to be the only one able to protect her and strike a definitive blow to the vampire's heart...
  Classic Hammer Productions director Terence Fisher brings one of the most classic and most complete films in the cinema legend of Dracula.Back then, Hammer Films weren't yet evolved in what we all came to love and that is obvious in the settings and the mood of the film. You can witness the slow transformation, the turning into a very good production and you can see that this movie still didn't have those. But that doesn't mean that this film is not as good as the others. On the other hand, this film is the father!
  A long and fruitful legendary friendship and co-operation started with this film as this was the first time Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing met as arch enemies (in The Curse of Frankenstein they weren't sworn enemies). Paying total respect to Bram Stoker's work, the two actors together with the rest of the cast (Melissa Stribling, Michael Gough, Carol Marsh etc) present a fine work of professionalism and passion for the Gothic horror!
Must watch this : for some reason this movie goes well with a plateful of the good ol' goulash, a pint of smooth Indian Pale Ale and a pipe filled with  fine tobacco! Enjoy alone on a random night and make the night your faithful bitch!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051554/

Help me, please. I don't know any geography!

Dear diary, if I wasn't a vampire hunter I would definitely want to be a pornstar!

Get it off me, please!

Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)

  Monsignor Ernest Mueller performs an exorcism ceremony on the door of Dracula's castle. Little does he know that Count Dracula has risen from the grave and now he wants to take his revenge. He tracks the Monsignor down and sets on making his niece the new Mrs. Dracula...
  Another fine addition to the film legend of Dracula. Directed by Freddie Francis and perfectly produced, this film might just be one of the best Dracula films out there. Deep emotion and goth atmosphere with just a little bit of these Italian style colors in the background that make all the difference. It's doom and gloom time...
  Who else other than Christopher Lee? This man is the legend himself and no one can walk like him in his big-balled shoes. Especially not when he is surrounded by such great actors like Rupert Davies as the Monsignor, Barry Andrews as Paul and Marion Mathie as the forbidden fruit of lust for Dracula. It is interesting to see such a powerful love story being developed side to side by the world's worst nightmare!
Must watch this : on a cold, windy and foggy January afternoon right at twilight with a cup of the best Earl Grey tea you can get your hands on. Let the wind and fog surround you and drown you in Dracula's mist...MuaHaHaHa
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062909/ 

A little to the left...Yeah that's good

Van Helsing, that is some dunk kush, man!

"You will be my wife" "But,I..." "There are no buts..."

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)

  Dr. Victor Frankenstein is now in ail waiting his conviction and confesses his lifetime experiences to a priest. We learn about his early days and how he was tutored by Paul Krempe and later became his assistant and colleague. He explains his first attempts to bring to life a dead dog and finally how he managed to bring his monster to life and come at knives with Paul Krempe.
  The first film in the long film story of Frankenstein and what a way to start it! Terence Fischer could not be absent from the director's seat! Directing leaves a great space to the characters to express their talents and evolve their characters grim psychosynthesis. This movie delves deeper into the psychological cosmos of Dr. Frankenstein rather his creation.
  Peter Cushing as Frankenstein (who else? ), Christopher Lee as the creature, Robert Urquhart as  Dr. Krempe and Hazel Court as Elizabeth, Frankenstein's fling thing. A classic British cast worthy of its name and fame, all these actors do more than a great job here. It is like you are reading an old and dusty book in a hut in the woods by the fireplace and the writing is so vivid that you are actually in the book! This movie is that good.
Must watch this : as I set the mood with fireplaces and everything , I should keep it. Watch this on the windiest night of February, by the fireplace with a selection of cheese and sausages. Let the wind be a reminder of all the foul things that linger in the dark outside...
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050280/

Fuck the police!

And this is how you get pussy!

'Scuse me, Sir. Is this the set of Dracula?

Hercules In The Haunted World (1961) a.k.a Ercole Al Centro Della Terra

  Princess Deianira is kidnapped by evil King Lico. In order to rescue her, Hercules must battle a stone monster and retrieve a golden apple from the Hesperides apple tree. Soon after he finds himself facing the horrors of Hades!
  Maria Bava's first color film (with Franco Prosperi) and certainly one of the best in its kind. Sword and sandal meets early 60's psychedelia combined in a cast of quality fantasy and story telling. The sets and effects are amazing (it is just like taking LSD and tripping through mythical Ancient Greece) and the atmosphere is downright eerie! They don't make them like that anymore!
  Leonora Ruffo plays the majestic as fuck Princess Deianira, Christopher Lee plays Lico and Reg Park is the mighty Hercules. This film was a success from the start, having Lee as the arch enemy and Reg Park (trainer of Arnold Schwarzenegger and probably the best Hercules so far) fight each other in a delirious vortex of mythical adventure!
Must watch this :  even though this is an Italian film, it has to do with Greece. So, dress up in a white bed sheet, take a ladle (for a sword) and enjoy this film with a Greek salad and some white wine on a hot summer day. Watch this only after you have grown a respectable beard.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054850/

Fuck you, Dracula. I ain't buying your shit

Do you think they are down to fuck or what?

Debt collectors fuck off!

 

The Skull (1965)

  A collector of historic and occult antiquities gets hold of a human skull from his usual provider that is supposed to have belonged to the notorious Marquis De Sade. Soon, the collector finds that the skull is possessed by an evil spirit that turns him into a maniac killer!
  Long live the British classy horror story mood! It may seem like one of the numerous horror films by legendary by Hammer Films but it is actually the work of Amicus Productions, another British company dealing with the horror genre. Story by well-known Robert Bloch and directed under the guidance of director Freddie Francis, this film perfectly adds to the majesty of British horror in its own way.
  Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing ! There has never been a better duo in the history of film (personal opinion). One completes and competes the other in almost every film they have starred in. It is almost as one gives reason to the other to exist. Like good and evil, yin and yang, love and hate, they would not exist without each other! See this not only for their performance ( and the other actors' too) but also for these incredible British sets ; libraries, English foggy and gloomy weather, gentlemen of another age and horror from beyond this world!
Must watch this : on a cold November night, with a cup of premium Earl Grey,by the fireplace (or under your blankets is you don't have one) and your favorite cuddling person.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059727/?ref_=sr_4

Skull? What skull?

Study hard, Party harder

Skull coming out of the fog fuckin' yo shit up