Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead (1980) Le Notti Erotiche Dei Morti Viventi

  A land developer buys an island and plans to build and operate a luxury hotel there. He gets to the island with his girlfriend and the captain that took them there. Soon, they meet a voodoo shaman couple who warns them that the island is cursed and staying there will be dangerous...
  This might just one of the most intriguing porn movie I have ever seen. And, yes, you got me ; It's a porn film (hardcore) but the profound presence of a story makes you forget all about it! Amazing, idyllic and tropic sceneries make the perfect spot for a porn movie but what happens when voodoo zombies start coming up, hungry for flesh? Well, Joe D'Amato really has the answer but you have to watch it to believe it. It's like a hot-and-cold shower ; one time hot, steamy sex scenes and the other horrifying, gory zombies!
  Laura Gemser seems like she was made for such roles! Even when she has to portray zero acting talent, she swags off the scenes with her nudity and amazing blank look on her eyes. George Eastman is also quite enjoyable and he had to be since this is his story, Dirce Funari is a classic minx and Mark Shannon got hired only for his mustache!
Must watch this :  if you watch it alone, it will be an amazing experience, since you will be watching porn with the most amazing plot twist. If you watch it with someone, your girlfriend might be the most suitable person. If she doesn't appreciate it, slap her back to her senses!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079642/

Oh, my baby is gonna love this!

We want meat, we want meat!

A goat, this babe here, and a cigar for you boat? It's a fair deal, white man!

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

  A small fishing village is getting harassed by what seems to be a group of unidentified underwater creatures. People get killed, women get raped but still nothing can been done to stop them. What are these creatures? Are they human or fish? Who is going to survive their claws?
  What seems to be totally worthless of any attention turns out to be an amusing horror film. Directed by Barbara Peeters, Humanoids easily pick up the story where Creature from the Black Lagoon leaves it and works perfectly as a prequel. Setting a very good atmosphere. this film exploits the horrifying subject of an underwater mutant and adds the right doses of nudity, gore and cheap but believable special effects. A classic for a good 80's film of the kind.
  One should not expect much from the acting in this film but one surely gets what he paid for. Classic American style of acting without any glitches but shiny and ethical in just the right spots. So, meet Doug McClure, Ann Turkel, Vic Morrow and Lynn Theel who make this sleazy film reality. I personally liked the girl in the tent but (surprise) her role was not long enough!
Must watch this :  this is a classic good-time horror Sci-Fi film that has to be watched with friends. Alone will do too but friends always make it better. Gather up, cook dishes with tuna fish (heh), sprinkle with cheap beer and enjoy this film with a salty taste in your mouth. Remember, salty is the taste of blood!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080904/

Sick tunes, bro.

A.C.A.B

Last one to the top is a pussy!

Blood Beach (1980)

  Venice Beach, California. It's a hot summer and besides having to deal with all the tourists, the police are troubled with a recent series of disappearances and murders that happen on the beach. Nobody has any idea what is happening. Who are what is behind all this?
  In the mist of all the B (and even lower) movies, Blood Beach directed by Jeffrey Bloom (no wonder he never made more than 10 films) comes to fill up any voids there were in the theme of sea, beach and mystery. Being an ultra low-budget movie, Blood Beach lacks vastly in plot and effects. While the overall atmosphere tries to be ominous and thriller-y, the surrounding sets and effects just won't let it happen. If you got 85 minutes to waste, this is a good time waster.
  Surprisingly enough, the film boasts some high-class cult figures in its cast. Burt Young as a policeman who does not care much and his incomparable facial expression of cosmic boredom says it, John Saxon as the chief of police who is just too nervous, Marianna Hill and David Huffman. Sadly, besides Burt Young and John Saxon acts as if they were in a classic 80's soap opera so the level of emotional intensity goes that far. Had it been some other actors, maybe this film could have achieved a bigger cult status.
Must watch this : you don't miss out on anything if you don't watch this but if you have to watch it get a fatty cheeseburger and fries and have it playing in the background while you eat with your friends.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082083/

When the drugs don't work

Yes, tell me your story. I am all ears!

Motherfuckin' kids and their holes in the sand...

Emanuelle's Daughter (1980) a.k.a Η Μαύρη Εμμανουέλλα

  After years of being abused by her husband, Emanuelle decides that the only way to get rid of him is to hire a hit man to kill him. In a twist of events, the hit man blackmails her and she also has to deal with her husband's partner who tries to prove her guilty. She has to get things into her hands in order to protect herself and her naive daughter...
  This is not the first film that tried to cash in on the success of the original Emanuelle. Ilias Mylonakos directs this classic 80's sexploitation and thought that hiring Laura Gemser would guarantee an instant blockbuster. Little did he know that his film would go back into the dumpster of cheesy sleazy films full of softcore sex violence, never-ending nudity and an upsetting lack of serious plot. Not that it deserves to be anyplace else...
  Laura Gemser once again goes into the suit of the name that made her famous only this time only the name is the same and not the overall character. She and minx daughter Livia Russo face threats but still have time to fall in love and have sex in the sunny background of Greece. Don't take this as a life-changing but strictly as a no-brainer time-waster!
Must watch this : clearly don't watch this. But, in the case you feel obliged to watch this, do so on a fucking hot day with a mojito and a fan to cool you off. Then dream about your vacation in Greece, sex, drugs, sun and beach and that motherfucker to boost your adrenaline!
Something like a trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079104/

Subtly looking at tits

Just me, casually strolling by Acropolis

Fuckin' bitch, I'll fuckin' kill ya

Friday the 13th (1980)

  Young girl Annie is hired to work at Camp Crystal Lake. She and the rest of the camp counselors make the needed preparations for the camp's reopening. Little do they know that someone is lurking in the woods to get his revenge...
  Sean S. Cunningham directs this notable classic 80's slasher piece. Friday the 13th alongside with Nightmare on Elm street set out to become two of the most high-grossing horror franchises, uplifting the slasher genre to higher grounds. Uniquely atmospheric and quietly ominous, this movie is sure to give you the chills.
  Though not something exceptional, acting in this film is slightly better than the rest of its kin. Adrienne King proves to be a rather good and cute scream queen while Betsy Palmer is psychotically scary even in her small appearance.Robbi Morgan  and young Kevin Bacon fill up the rest of the seats!
Must watch this : on a hot summer night, on the balcony, with cool iced tea and your girl. Be the man of the situation and hug her as she gets scared but try to hide your own fears as well. Then, go to the woods and try to have the most scared-scary sex of your lives!
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080761/ 

Nice outfit, bro. No homo!

"Just some Jehova's witnesses..."

I hope she didn't have an axe-i-dent

Airplane! (1980)

  Ex-fighter pilot Ted Striker is traumatized from the cruelties of the war he was in. Unable to fly again, he loses control of his life and he gets dumped by his girlfriend. To get her back he gets on a plane, despite his fears. When the crew gets sick, he seems to be the only one who can safely land the plane. Or is he?
  David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker team up and bring us this classic 80's comedy. And what a comedy that is! Reeeeeeeally high on whatever they were on those days, this film brings another meaning to the term of slapstick comedy! Satirical enough? Yes! Offensive much? Hell yeah! Down right stupid? You bet!
  Robert Hays is out main guy. His facial expressions are hilarious and (for me) make up half of the film. The other half is the script and its unexpected turns and Leslie Nielsen. Anything we say abou this crazy motherfucker just won't be enough to express his class.So, just watch this and see for yourself.
Must watch this : with the dudes and a good amount of beers or weed. You will find yourself laughing and wondering what the actual fuck. It is better to watch this back-to-back with another crazy stoner film!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/

There's a smudge over there you didn't get

The ace of spades, the ace of spades....

Fencing like sirs

The Fog (1980)

  Small seaside town, Antonio Bay, is preparing to celebrate its Centenary. Bizarre happenings shake up the town as zombie-like ghosts emerge from the fog that has surrounded the area. The citizens are up for a real surprise when they find out that these ghosts are victims of the town's founding fathers and they are out for revenge! No one can escape the fog!
  You can expect nothing less than a cult classic when you have John Carpenter directing it! This film boasts an incredible mood and a gloomy atmosphere all bound together in a story that could easily be in an exploitation movie 10 years before its time. Carpenter manages just the right amount of exaggeration and horror and brings a new air in the genre of paranormal activities and old legends!
   Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau, Tom Atkins and Hal Holbrook play the main characters in this all-time classic spook! You gotta love Curtis as always with her naive looks and her own unique way of being a scream queen! Aided by hard-case manly man tom Atkins and ye ol' faithful Hal Holbrook, she is out to teach the ghosts a lesson! Adrienne Barbeau is the unlucky one stuck in the radio station giving another meaning to "Can't stop the party".
Must watch this : on a cold (maybe snowy) January night with your blankets and everything, a cup of instant soup and your cuddling companion.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080749/ 

Yes, I am boozing in my church. Got any problem with that?

This is Dj Mc CutiePie mixing it for you

These motherfuckers are blazing that dank kush without us, son!

 

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

  New York anthropologist Professor Harold Monroe travels to the wild jungles of the Amazon rainforest in order to find out what happened to a documentary crew that was sent there two months ago. What he finds there is not exactly what he would wish to find. The explanation he takes back to the "civilized" world is not one that we are ready for!
  The Italians do it again! A real shocker in its time, this film does not fail to deliver its disturbing messages! Beautifully set in the Amazonian jungle, this film is full with amazing scenes of nature and wild animals! But don't get too romantic with it! Along with these documentary-like scenes you get over-the-top violence. I mean real violence,both human and animal violence and sometimes something in between. Director Ruggero Deodato certainly knows how to make people squirm while showing them some beautiful sceneries!
  The actors playing the missing cast are surprisingly good in their roles as civilized savages (it really makes you wonder why they are so good). Equally good is Robert Kerman in his role as the returning anthropologist who still has hope in his heart for humanity. The story seems too ordinary in the beginning (classic cannibal film) but you are in for a treat as the movie advances! Seriously though, watch this and ask yourself what is the moral issue at hand here! You will be amazed at the ingenuity of the film and you might question your surroundings! If you are not OK with extreme violence, don't watch this as it is more than full of it. You have been warned!
Must watch this : with an empty stomach (don't try this otherwise) with the company of a girl. See who falls in whose arms first!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078935/

Sup?

I hope you are not peeing in there....

Family gathering