Vampyres (1974)

  Two lesbian vampires, who live at a rural manor in England, get their victims by seducing by-passers or hitch-hikers. They then proceed to satisfy their sexual needs and most of all quench their thirst for human blood...
  Yikes! José Ramón Larraz directs this milestone in erotic horror films! Incredible atmosphere, haunting sets, arousing scenes...The English is finesse is abundant and profound all around the film. Especially in the actors' performances. You can notice their dedication to their work no matter how sleazy the story unwinds to be. A must for any pervert with a liking for horror stuff or any self-respecting viewer!
   Marianne Morris and Anulka Dziubinska play the vampire duo and damn me but his is one hot couple. I wouldn't getting between them too even if I had to sell my soul to the darkness! They both stand up to their roles and provide some ultra steamy acting!
Must watch this : with any goth, satanist, vampire lover, lesbian, weird girl friend you have. Convince them that a sinful orgy is a must-do if they would like to liberate their spirits. Accompany with lots of red wine and set the mood with that shit. 
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072354/ 

I left my dildo somewhere here...

I am telling she bit me. These are not needle spots...

Is that period blood on your lips?!

 
 

2069-A Sex Odyssey (1974) a.k.a Ach jodel mir noch einen - Stosstrupp Venus bläst zum Angriff

  Planet Venus is all dried up of men so a mission of five sexy females is sent to Earth. Their mission is to collect as many sperm samples as possible in order to take it back to their home and save their society. The females are about to find that Earth men are more than eager to help them but that are not willing to let them go so easily...
  Georg Tressler is one crazy Austrian motherfucker. I just don't get how you can get from directing such a milestone to directing in T.V. I guess he went with the flow. But he did not go with the flow when he made this film. Utterly hilarious and erotic, imaginative and cheesy, this film easily stands out of the pile of adult entertainment without that meaning that it is porn. Yes, I am talking to you 28-40 year old lady reading "50 Shades of Grey". Your book is porn, not this film.
  Impressive acting that hits the nail on the head. European actors taking their humorous acting seriously? Now that's something. Even the female characters, being naked almost all the time, don;t forget they are in an actual movie and it is surely nice for a change to see something like that.
Must watch this : with your open minded female friends who will not be offended by the mood of the film. Accompany with sexist food such as sausages, cucumbers and other stuff like that. Don't take it too far, though. They are still your friends.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069665/ 

Ladies, prepare for coitus

Working hardly, hardly working

We will get married at the city hall. You see he is Christian and I believe in Zoroastrianism!

 
 

Class of Nuke Em' High (1986)

  Warren and Chrissy, a high school couple, notice some weird behaviors from their classmates. Soon they start suspecting the nuclear power plant nearby and think get out of hand when Chrissy gives birth to a bloodthirsty mutant who starts eating people. Can anybody stop it?
  Prepare yourself for really bad taste cult cinema. Richard W. Haines and Lloyd Kaufman direct (surprisingly well enough) this interesting (if not shockingly bad) film. Teens getting high on nuclear weed, giving birth to weird creatures, gangs and the 80's...Oh the 80's ! This movie stinks of them, with the nuclear stuff and the clothes and everything.
  Gil Brenton and Janelle Brady (Warren and Chrissy) did not make it too far after that film and I keep wondering why. Don't expect award winning performances here not from anyone. All you get is ultra-cheesy characters and cheap thrills. Avoid if you are a still a rookie in the genre!
Must watch this : with pizza, beer, cigarettes and friends. 10 people should be enough so make it good and keep it trashy!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090849/

Sexual Bullying?!

Nuclear weed getting you nuclear dry!

Yep, these are definitely some pairs of fine thighs!

Irreversible (2002)

  The film narrates the events of a shocking night in Paris in reverse. Alex is happily engaged to Marcus and they go to a big party with Pierre, Alex's ex. Alex leaves the party because of Marcus' obnoxious behavior and she is brutally raped and beaten in an underpass...
  Gaspar Noé directs this breathtaking film. Genius in its reverse progress and shocking in its story, this film grabs you by the nuts, drags you in a dead-end alley and fucks you up mentally. Behind the shocking brutality, it is actually poetic, an ode to the degradation of the human soul and its destruction in modern society.A must see for non-pussies.
  Vincent Cassel palys Marcus, a man madly in love with Alex (Monica Bellucci) but who can't set aside his wild nature. Monica Bellucci, the presentation of fragile beauty and how easily it can be demolished and Albert Dupontel as they friend who still loves Alex and hates to see her with Marcus. Top-notch acting, European finesse and raw facts. It does not get any better than that.
Must watch this : definitely alone, not with any friends or significant others. This film speaks to you only so get a glass of wine and let it talk to you.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0290673/ 

Damn those Jagerbombs!

You better talk now, bitch!

It is a bit nippy in here, isn't it?

Superbad (2007)

  Seth and Evan, long-time friends, are about to graduate from high school. Not being so popular at school, they get invited to a graduation party where they have a chance with the girls they like. With the help of their friend Fogell, they try to get booze for the party. But it's never that easy...
   Greg Mottola directs this masterpiece, the resurrection of quality comedy. New age humor written by Seth Rogen in situations we can all relate with just the right dose of profanity and delinquency. The story is actually nothing innovative but the overall result is ages ahead of the rest of its genre.
  Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bill Hader, Seth Rogen and Emma Stone. Complete performances by a great cast, with a ton of cheesy lines that will get you laughing your ass off.A nice funky good-time soundtrack fills up the spaces. Now that's what I call good comedy.
Must watch this : when you are in university. Call up your friends from high school, get beers and junk food and have a blast reminiscing the good old high school days. A fat joint would help a lot, too!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0829482/

Priceless

Mc Lovin on the job

If only every cop was like that...

 

Brand Of Shame (1968)

  A school teacher arrives at a dusty old town with a map to a gold mine. She suddenly becomes the center of the city's attention and the lesbian dance-hall owner has an evil scheme to steal the map for herself...
  This film's alternate name is Nude Django! I bet that means a lot! Directed by trashy director Byron Mabe, this film takes another look in the western theme, the nude and sexy one. Not lacking in original set and costumes, Brand of Shame can easily fool you for a cheap western, until the fist boob appears that is.
  Come on, you are not here to see someone acting but to watch someone say a shitload of cheese pickup lines,  even cheesier1800's  lesbian sex and to have a laugh. Luckily, this film is a great laugh, Just open your mind and chill ; this is actual adult entertainment.
Must watch this : on a lazy summer afternoon, when you are too bored to watch a serious film and too bored to go out. Get a margarita and enjoy this. After the film, do yourself a  favor and go out! It's summer, god damn it!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0131985/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 

I am fabulous

Jerry, stop staring at my tits and clean the barn

WhoaPah!

 
 

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

  A brother and a sister drive home for spring break. On their way they encounter a number of strange incidents and they soon find themselves to be pursued by a weird man with a twisted sense of killing. What they don't know is that it's feeding time and dinner is to be served.
  It's horror movie time! Victor Salva, molded in this genre, directs this surprisingly good film. All the elements of new wave of American horror are here ; a place in the middle of nowhere, hillbillies, a "serial killer",poor judgement and cat ladies!!! The film's mood and tensity escalates nicely until the promising end (which could have been a lot better).
  Justin Long and Gina Philips are the brother and sister here. They are the main (and only actual) characters in this film but that does not mean anything about their acting. It's the usual all-American cast acting, no ups no downs. You wouldn't expect anything else but at least it works well.
Must watch this : watch it with a girl right before you go on a road trip. Record this on a tape and have it randomly playing along the way She will get the chills every time.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0263488/ 

Your momma's pussy...

Oh, hey Johnnie. Here you are

Nope. It's Chuck Testa

Perseus Against the Monsters (1963) a.k.a Perseo L'Invincibile

  Perseus fights the monstrous Medusa, her army of stone warriors and a monstrous dragon while he tries to save his lover and set things right between his town and the tyrannical ruler of Argos.
  Part of the great Italian school of sword-and-sandal, this film tells the story of Greek demigod Perseus. Alberto De Martino directs this piece and he does a great work. Medusa could have been a lot better I must confess but hey it was the 60's and I guess money was not enough. The sets, although, are amazing (beautiful Mediterranean scenery all up your face) and so are the battles and fights.
  Richard Harrison plays the mighty Perseo and Anna Ranalli is his lovey-dovey Andromeda. Perseo will often appear semi-naked throughout the film. Do not be scared that as it probably the only way to portray his heroic status and omnipotent character. Nevertheless, the entire cast does a great job portraying the myth in their own Italian finesse style.
Must watch this :  with a Greek salad, some bread and a glass of ouzo (or sambucca...una faccia una razza). Watch this on a hot summer day and after the film head to the nearest beach and battle with your imaginary sea monsters.
Petrification sequence
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056343/

I have just put my mask on

Get off, biatch! I warn you!

Raid the fap castle!

Jeremiah Johnson (1972)

  Jeremiah Johnson, a Mexican war veteran, decides to leave society and live in the mountains as a trapper. His new life does not start so well and he even loses his wife and kid to vengeance after trespassing sacred Indian land. Without any choice, he starts a vendetta with the Crows...
  Sydney Pollack is no stranger to making great films and this one is one hell of a film. Breathtaking scenery (Rocky Mountains nature), a classic story of western revenge and a great set of downtrodden characters. Personally, it is one of the best westerns (besides Sergio Leone's classics) and a part of that comes out of the fact that this film was loosely based on a rea mountain man, Liver-Eating Johnson. Art imitating life? That's smart!
  Robert Redford is one tough motherfucker. Maybe not as tough as other western characters but he is one devoted, slightly depressed family man. Anyway, he gets shit done and he does so in the way he should. Hats off to Will Geer as well, who plays the role of an old-school mountain man who teaches Jeremiah all the tricks of the trade.
Must watch this : prepare a cup of the finest mountain herbal tea you can find, throw a huge ass stake on the grill and enjoy this film on a cold winter night by the fireplace (if you have one). While watching the film, polish your great great grandpa's rifle...
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068762/ 

Wanna buy some peyote?

Say, now...You look pretty

I got this at H&M, on sale...Real swag

 
 

Children of the Corn (1984)

  A young couple heading to California to spend some quality time has a weird car accident ; they hit a boy who seems to be already killed. They take the boy to the nearest town, that seems to be abandoned, and try to find a way to solve their situation. But, they are about to find to find the town's deadly secret and no grown up has ever lived to tell it...
  First film by director Fritz Kiersch and an absurd one for sure. Based on a story by notorious Stephen King, this film has everything an American 80's horror film has to boast. Gloomy environment, characters with dark secrets, small town urban legends and lots of sequels! If you like Stephen King, it's a must, if you like horror films,it's a must.
  Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton are the main characters in this film, playing the couple that got stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. Courtney Gains plays evil Malachai and he is actually impressive with his kid preacher attitude and all. I guess King has a thing for Christina crazies and stuff, huh?
Must watch this : with a bowl full of sweet corn (sic) and an icy cold beer. Watch it on a specially boring summer day.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087050/ 

And then I said "Sure, boss. I am sick"

They took our jobs...

Da fuck is this?

 

Hot Nights on the Campus (1966)

  Small town girl Sally moves to New York in order to study. She receives the help of a family friend and sleeps with him. As her new life as a woman is about to start, she finds it hard to balance between pleasure and serious situations.
  Its this time again. Tony Orlando directs this classic 60s exploitation which , unfortunately, is not full with sleazy peeping nudity. Instead you get a lot of semi-nude footage and some "intense" sex. This film's uniqueness lies in the fact that instead of bringing a sentiment of joy and fun to the viewer, one may find it utterly depressive. Mainly because it focuses on the aftermaths of depravity rather than the pleasure itself.
  Gigi Darlene plays the main character, Sally, here. She seems stupid and naive enough to get what she got in the film so you might say she did a good job acting. Otherwise, it is your usual crap that you hate to love but watch it anyway. Photography and color is mainly the deal and not the acting. For experienced viewers.
Must watch this : just a bottle of water on a low and depressive day. The film will get you either happier, either more depressed or saying "what the fuck did I watch this for?"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0125171/

Come meet the rest of the bitches

Murica'

Oh , great. My new sucker is here

Escape From New York (1981)

  1997. New York has been turned into the biggest maximum security prison in the world. The President's plane crashes into New York and he is held hostage by a group of criminals who demand better imprisonment conditions. There is only one man who can enter this prison and get out alive and that is Snake Plissken...
  You can tell it's the 80's by the way the are dressed and you sure gotta love the weird charm of it! Another fine addition in the Sci-Fi genre by master John Carpenter. Dystopian situations, oppressive and corrupt government officials,a prison city run by a respected criminal and his team of weirdly dressed henchmen, a classic son of a bitch/hero and lots of 80's freakiness.
  All-star male cast parading in this film! Lee Van Cleef, Ernest Borgnine, Kurt Russell and Isaac Hayes! The  General, the Taxi Driver, the Snake and the Duke. Too bad Kurt Russell's performance isn't as good as the others' or the level would have been much higher. But we don't care much, right? Especially when we have such a great story and violent 80's action? No sir, we don't!
Must watch this : the day before your country's elections. Grab a beer and watch this with the dudes. The next day remember that all politicians are crooked and vote as you must. Start a fight with the policemen standing outside the voting center just because you feel like it!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082340/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

-Nice earring, General! - Thank you, lieutenant. Your mother picked it up for me!

Tell that bitch behind me to make me a nice juicy steak! Now!

The Duke abides!

Death Race 2000 (1975)

  In a dystopian 2000, a cross-country automobile race is held as an annual national event. Contestants are supposed to kill as many civilian pedestrians as they can in order to collect points that will help them win the race and shake the President's hand. Driver Frankenstein has other ideas...
  Directed by Paul Bartel and produced by Roger Corman, this one weird film. It starts off as a rather interesting Sci-Fi race movie but suddenly it reveals it true cult nature. Pedestrians as targets, unconventional characters in weird things that look like cars, nudity and a rebellion in hand. Impressive comic-like sets and effects really give a more light mood to it, too! It doesn't get any cheesier than that, not when you have Corman producing it!
  David Carradine plays Frankenstein, the seemingly evil driver and by his side Simone Griffeth, a rebellion fighter undercover. This film even has Sylvester Stallone as Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, as the aggressive driver whose only point in life is to win the race and beat Frankenstein. All actors do a great job and act as if they would in a mainstream film and so, the film has an "arrogance" of better-than-B-Movie! A must watch!
Must watch this : with the dudes and a club sandwich each. Laugh with the gory murder scenes like the little sadists you are and after the film get in a car and start following a random car as if in a race. Don't die, though.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072856/

I'll be a great actor! Say it!

Oh no, the baby!

I would fuck right now if it wasn't for that whole-body condom I am wearing