The Fog (1980)

  Small seaside town, Antonio Bay, is preparing to celebrate its Centenary. Bizarre happenings shake up the town as zombie-like ghosts emerge from the fog that has surrounded the area. The citizens are up for a real surprise when they find out that these ghosts are victims of the town's founding fathers and they are out for revenge! No one can escape the fog!
  You can expect nothing less than a cult classic when you have John Carpenter directing it! This film boasts an incredible mood and a gloomy atmosphere all bound together in a story that could easily be in an exploitation movie 10 years before its time. Carpenter manages just the right amount of exaggeration and horror and brings a new air in the genre of paranormal activities and old legends!
   Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau, Tom Atkins and Hal Holbrook play the main characters in this all-time classic spook! You gotta love Curtis as always with her naive looks and her own unique way of being a scream queen! Aided by hard-case manly man tom Atkins and ye ol' faithful Hal Holbrook, she is out to teach the ghosts a lesson! Adrienne Barbeau is the unlucky one stuck in the radio station giving another meaning to "Can't stop the party".
Must watch this : on a cold (maybe snowy) January night with your blankets and everything, a cup of instant soup and your cuddling companion.
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080749/ 

Yes, I am boozing in my church. Got any problem with that?

This is Dj Mc CutiePie mixing it for you

These motherfuckers are blazing that dank kush without us, son!

 

Akira (1988)

  2019. Neo-Tokyo. A biker gang consisting of high school students frequently clashes with another gang, creating violence and anarchy. Gang member Tetsuo will soon find out about his psychic powers and a governmental operation looking out to kill him. Tetsuo soon reaches the maximum of his potential and confronts his gang's leader, Kaneda, while Neo-Tokyo is being demolished.
  Written by Katsuhiro Otomo and Izō Hashimoto and directed by Otomo, this anime film is considered to be a breakpoint in anime and manga culture. Combining cyberpunk elements with sci-fi ideas in a classic manga style, Akira is a considered a reference in all anime creations after it. Not being a manga fan myself I have to agree that this is a trully good anime film. It can really put you in the mood of the manga genre even if you are a noob for it.
  Excellent old-school manga work done here! I don't find modern manga style attractive at all, but in this film the writers and sketchers really provide a high-end piece. The film is elevated to another level with its story, providing enough food for thought to last for days. High quality animation and character development, this film is a must-see.
Must watch this : in original Japanese audio for originality, on a chill November evening with noodle soup and some cranberry juice.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094625/

Dream on!

LSD is one hell of a drug

It was me! I farted!

A Trip To The Moon (1902) a.k.a Le Voyage Dans La Lune

  A group of astronomers travel to the moon in a cannon-propelled spaceship, where they find the Selenites, a local Moon tribe. After, a lot of adventures, they returned to the Earth.
  Holy fuck that shit was tight! Georges Méliès is the man behind this masterpiece of quality cinema, this landmark in human progress. A silent film of course but it lacks nothing in expression. The story itself is enough to make this a Sci-Fi classic, somewhat 40 years before the genre began to gain momentum. Visually exceptional, trippy in its essence, a true dream for psychedelic travelers.
  All humans respecting themselves and all the blood that has been shed in order for humanity to reach this point, need to watch this. There is not even a debate as to whether you like old films or not (and this is fucking old). It has to be seen to believed, it needs your time to prove you that humans can do majestic things if they only try a bit. You don't need special high-tech technology to dream and travel. You only need an open mind and an imagination that can take you anywhere.
Must watch this : on a night with a full moon, with a glass of the finest wine you can find and a couple of open-minded co-travelers.
Watch this edition with background music by Pink Floyd (yes, I made it)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0000417/

Big-brain meeting

Per Aspera Ad Astra

Am I high?

Lorna (1964)

  Lorna, married to Jim for a year.Jim, hard-working straight-shooting fellow who loves his wife more than anything. Luther and Jonah, Jim's co-workers who love to give him a good tease. It all goes wrong when the sexually unsatisfied Lorna is raped by an escaped convict and she finds herself in love with him. Jim is brought to his limits and violence follows.
  One of Russ Meyer's better films, this one here deals with everything that you love about this director. Action and reaction, sin and retribution, moral equilibrium and lots of sex and violence. The vicious circle of violence and hate engulfs each character in their own way and no one gets out unharmed, some more than others. Dive into the very depths of human soul and its fucked-up complexes and find out how quickly violence solves everything. No man, no problem.
  Top-notch cast here as always. Russ Meyer never disappoints with his choice of actors, especially with the female ones. Lorna Maitland (as voluptuous Lorna), James Rucker as Jim, master Hal Hopper as Luther, Doc Scortt as Jonah and Mark Bradley as the raping convict. Each magnificent in their unique style, each exploring the depths of their characters' soul. Each ready to break from the pressure of their feelings, each a painting of normal people's feelings and a reminder that violence may not be right but it is certainly needed. Lorna, though, gets what she deserves!
Must watch this : with female companion over a fine dinner. After the film talk about gender equality in our days.
Teaser
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058301/

Let me go, Jim. I got an early rape tomorrow

Some women just beg for it

Working hardly and hardly working

Mundo Depravados (1967)

  A number of murders take place in a health club with the working girls being the victims. Two not so bright detectives are assigned to the case and try everything to find the killer.
  Herb Jeffrie's one and only attempt as a director. This film actually does have a plot and it is not just for the nude voluptuous ladies (just kidding of course). It may be too simple for a plot but it is a plot. Stop hating! That's why it can stand out from the rest of the ocean of sleaze. But, don't be tricked by the title ; it has nothing to do as a mondo.
  The only actor deserving a few lines for this film is none either than the one and only Tempest Storm, and she is not even an actual actor. For those who don't know her, Tempest Storm is (well, not any more but she is still alive) a famous burlesque dancer of her times. She brings a fresh air of buxom to the film but that's about it. Nothing too special!
Must watch this : on a boring Sunday after your usual Saturday party when you just want to watch something meaningless with tits from another decade. Make yourself a cup of Ceylon tea and enjoy.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062008/

You gonna do what now?

"It's hard to find a killer with all those ladies around" "Damn right it is"

Imma dance that mothafucka down

I Spit On Your Grave (1978) a.k.a Day of the Woman

  Young writer Jennifer rents a riverside cabin in order to get away from the noisy city life and look for inspiration in her new home. Unfortunately, she attracts the attention of three local men who proceed to rape her with the help of another local village idiot and destroy her novel. Undaunted by the state they leave her in, their surprise turns lethal when she goes on to take her revenge.
  This film is the only reason to remember the name of director Meir Zarchi. And it definitely leaves a huge mark on your brain! This is not a fun film to watch, not story-wise not even visually. This is pure violence to the maximum point and the product of this violence is an even more violent revenge. A true landmark in the rape-and-revenge genre, this film deserves your attention and respect.
  Camille Keaton goes miles ahead acting as the victim here. Her initial expression and stature present a shy woman full of insecurities but she then turns into a violent creature that does not care about anything at all. Eron Tabor, Richard Pace and Anthony Nichols fill in as the rapping "men" and they loos alarmingly good at it!
Must watch this : with 4 shots of tequila, on a really hot summer night. Definitely watch this with a girl. She will get excited by the violence and she will probably try to rape you afterwards. Be a gentleman and let her!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077713/

Dear diary, today I am not going to get raped...

Dear diary, scratch that out!

A true sailor is not afraid of the red sea

Chain Gang Women (1971)

  A psychotic murderer escapes from the county jail he is imprisoned in but drags along his co-inmate, with whom he shares the same chains. The co-inmate's girlfriend assists them in their escape but she is soon raped by the ruthless maniac. They go on a killing and raping spree until they confront a man and his teenage wife!
  Offensive and raw until the very end, a classic creation of Lee Frost, this film stands out in the pile of quality trash! Classic story about escaping convicts but with a twist. We are used to criminals escaping for a reason (revenge, girl, kids etc) but not here. In this flick you will meet the worst case of criminal activity; the one that has no reason and therefore has no means of being stopped. The crime done only for the action itself, not for a higher reason, for the satisfaction of the evil urge inside the perpetrator's will.
  Michael Stearns and Robert Lott,the bad and the not so bad, the killer and the pot dealer. An interesting duo with good performances by these two actors (too good for a film like this I might add). Barbara Mills and Linda York, the teenage wife and the girl who fell for the wrong guy. Not as good as the male leads but they certainly bring another air to the movie. An everyday, sexy drenched into depravity kind of. You either love it or hate it. Nothing in between!
Must watch this :  with a glass of neat whiskey on a hot summer night with a girl that you know that likes you but wants to play mind games. "Rape" her in the middle of the film so she knows you mean business. Be ready to run afterwards if she takes it too seriously!
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066905/fullcredits?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm 

...And then I said "Don't worry. I won't hurt you"...

4-star wanted level

Teenagers get drunk more easily

 

The Mermaids of Tiburon (1962)

  A diver is looking for underwater ruins with hopes of finding forgotten treasures. While on his endeavors, he is approached by a group of mermaids who help him find what he wants. Not sure to believe his eyes or not, he just dives in...
  John Lamb and the open sea are two thing that go together, if one cares to look at his work. And so is tastefully handed nudity. Combine these two and this is what comes out! An entertaining piece that combines beautiful underwater scenes with just the right drops of fantasy and voyeurism to make one have a good time. There is a deeper meaning here. You only need a mind as open as the sea to get it!
  George Rowe, Diane Webber and Gaby Martone are the main roles here with the first one being the lucky scientist and the other two playing the parts of Queen Mermaid and main Mermaid respectively. And what a fine job do they mermaids do! All of them! Prancing and swimming and teasing and confusing our young diver. Makes me wish mermaids were actually true and that they were in fact as they are in this film! Who knows? Maybe they are!
Must watch this : on a awfully hot summer day with a mojito in hand. After the film, run to the beach and look for your mermaid. She will probably be there waiting for you.
Intro
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056233/

I hope I am not too high for what's coming next

Underwater titties? Now I know I am too high!

Ok, what now? Stop messing with my buzz, you evil diver. The lady is trying to say something

Teenage Hitch-Hikers (1975)

  Mouse and Bird, two young,sexy hitch-hikers on a cross-country trip out for all they can get! Freedom, excitement, sex, adventure...all is welcome for these two lovely ladies who may not even have 1 dollar in their pockets but they sure have other ways to pay and get ahead!
  Too bad it was the only movie Gerri Sedley ever directed. Judging from this piece, he career in the trashy genre would have been outstanding. Nevertheless, it was once and for good! And it is good, filled up to the neck with all the things you love in these films. Take the magnificent trip into rural America, during the laid-back 70's when drugs and thrills were free and sex was free-er, when trips were made not for the destination but for the trip itself and when finding yourself only came after you had lost yourself.
  Chris Jordan and Sandra Peabody take the ruthless lead here and they do what they can. They are quite convincing in their roles as teenagers who don't care much about rules or restrictions. If I was able to make something better on them though, that would be their dancing! The rest of the cast is your usual low-life-but-trying-hard cast that you hate to love because they are naked! Hit the road!

Must watch this : after a tiring day at work. Fill up a pint of beer and another glass of whiskey, take your most filthy and playful female companion and watch this while teasing each other. Then get in your car, blast that shit through your speakers and have sex by an abandoned house or something.

Ultra shitty quality segment instead of trailer

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259617/

If you want bread, go fuck a baker!

Just me, casually eating an apple while reading a book naked! No big deal!

Classic orgies always start with strip poker

The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto (2009)

  Based on the comic book by Rob Zombie, this film follows El Superbeasto ,celebrity ex-masked wrestler, and his sexy sidekick sister Suzi-X as they try to prevent Dr. Satan from taking over the world. Their mission is blocked by Nazi biker zombies and other monsters in the weird world of Monsterland.
  Rob Zombie's attempt on directing an adult animation film actually pays off. This is a raunchy trip into imagination and exaggeration, filled with exploitation parts from b-movies. Abundant sex and non-stop cheesiness, cameo cult figures, tongue-in-cheek intermission songs...That's my idea of adult animation!
  You gotta love the work on the voicing here. Especially that of Rosario Dawson. Black gangsta hoe voice for a white stripper bitch? Priceless. Tom Pappa, Sheri Moon Zombie, Paul Giamatti and Brian Posehn give life to the rest of the cast in their own way, respecting the filthy beauty of this film! Must watch, unless you get offended too easily.
Must watch this : after you have watched hundreds of B-movies and exploitation in order to test how many cult references you can identify in this film. Watch this with a cappuccino, on a Sunday afternoon after a night of hardcore partying!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419724/?licb=0.48176528024631726

A-spicy meat-a ballz!

Nazi werewolf? Fuckin smart!

Unholy matrimony

Good Morning...and Goodbye! (1967)

  Eleven different people, eleven different twists in the same story. Burt isn't enough for Angel, Angel finds another guy whom he catches with another woman. Angel finds Justin who finds another gal, Burt and Angel fight and Burt is seduced by a sorceress leaving Angel with Ray!
  And then I thought crap like 90210 has a lot of inter-character relationships ! This is different. This is Russ Meyer. With Russ Meyer it's poetic, it's an ode to free love and free-er people. A nostalgic and romantic approach to the depths of human existence and its reasons for sex and violence. All organically bound together under the influence of smooth music in a rough environment!
  Russ Meyer is known for picking out the best actors to incarnate his characters. We've said those things again. Stuart Lancaster, an actor who deserves more respect, is the man who can't get his wife, Alaina Capri, enough. Haji, the seducing sorceress, and a number of other talanted actors fill in the gaps. Strong characters, manly men and curvy women all portrayed by actors forgotten in the mists of time and infinite celluloid! Don't let it slip away!
Must watch this : watch this before you go on a date, on a really long and hot summer afternoon. You can use the lines you will pick up from this film on your date. The excitement combined with the heat will make you a different person!
Trailer enough
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061719/

Dancing date in the desert! Oh the 60's!

Bitch wife case?

Wouldn't mind falling in that trap!

The Fly (1986)

  An intelligent scientist experiments with transportation. After succeeding with inanimate objects, he decides to test it with humans so he enters his machine! Unfortunately, inside his machine was a fly that caused complications in the process. What came out was human no more!
  Being a remake of the classic 1958 film with Vincent Price, you can't expect much of this. But actually, David Cronenberg pulls it off and manages to relight the cult flame for this story! A little too literal and much too gore (for my liking), this film may distress you but it will pay off with that 80's feeling you love to hate! A job well done in the Sci-Fi genre!
  When you have to continue such a legacy, Geena Davis is certainly a no-picker for this job. Jeff Goldblum is eccentric enough to be the scientist here (and he does it well) but man!, why Geena Davis?! Don't get me wrong but this woman just can't act. Her lines come out stiffer than Brian Johnson's upper lip (ok lame pun) and her expressions are colder than those of a corpse! She even looks indifferent in the sex scenes! It takes a lot of sucking to achieve this!
Must watch this : before watching the original. Get a couple of cheap cheeseburgers, a cheap Coca-Cola knock-off and fly this off with your 80's groove on!
*Special thanks to 80's expert, Silent Guardian, for suggesting this
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091064/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

God damn it, Geena.Act a little!

That is not what I ordered!

No shit, Sherlock!

Basket Case (1982)

  A young man in a big city, carrying around a small bamboo basket. Inside he keeps his deformed Siamese twin brother who has a distorted sense of devotion and a high killing urge. The "normal" brother goes around town seeking revenge from the doctors that helped separate them against their will while trying to pursue a love affair with an unsuspected young lady. But, no one can escape the basket!
  Frank Henenlotter strikes back with this instant 80s comedy horror classic. They had a different way to making you scared back then! And of course they could make you laugh while you were trembling with fear. This movie has everything you seek in a film of its time : gore (pathetically done but awesome), a fucked-up story, outcast characters and general degradation of society! I love that shit!
   Kevin Van Hentenryck does a great job in a movie such as this. He looks as if he is the guy he pretends to be. Totally weird and alienated. And of course, Terri Susan Smith is his potential 80's hottie girlfriend and you just have to see it to feel it! I loved the special effects too. Simply a puppet and some stop-motion and bam! you got a monster right there. Watch this!
Must watch this: on your lowest of days! Swallow down your pills that make you happy, lose your depression and get some laughs and scares! Have some cheap beer and cheaper pizza while doing so!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083624/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

What you got there boy?

Ready or not, here I come woman!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Run to the hills