Forbidden Planet (1956)

  A spaceship lands on a planet with the mission to rescue and secure the well-being of a human colony sent there years ago. Upon arrival, they find out that the sole survivors is a scientist,his daughter and a very clever robot that managed to survive against all monsters. The scientist's secret will soon shock everyone on board...
  Ah the 50's. Back when chubby and curvy was still sexy, Sci-Fi was still pure and raw. The progress of this film's story is truly breathtaking and stunningly smart and while it appears as naive and family-fun, it is downright radical. Fred M. Wilcox combines the beloved issue of extraterrestrial life and the basic learnings of Freud's science and what comes out is an endings that you definitely won't see coming.
   Watching this film, I swear I didn't get the slightest hunch that Leslie Nielsen had the major role! It may have been that I am used to seeing him in hid own unique comedies! Nevertheless, he is quite nice as the all-American hero who gets the girl (of course), Anne Francis. It wasn't that difficult ,if you ask me, since her father, the malicious Walter Pidgeon had her all locked up and protected. My personal favorite, though, was the cook, Earl Holliman, who managed to befriend a robot that steadily supplied him with his cherished alcohol!
Must watch this : getting high would help although it is not necessary. I would suggest some deep fried French fries, a couple of strong beers and a joint for the dessert.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049223/

Those curves though

Inter-galactic nudity?! Hell, yeah!

Listen, I am going to be a comedian. OK, Dad?

Hellboy (2004)

  The story of a red humanoid demon conjured by a secret Nazi group but raised from infant by an American professor. Hellboy, as he was named, is trained and devoted to confronting the forces of evil that threaten our world. When Rasputin, the man who conjured him, comes back to bring the end of the world, Hellboy must act quickly...
  When you see Guillermo del Toro's name signed in a film like that then you should be sure that this film is going to be very good. With much less mambo jumbo than the average Marvel comics film, Hellboy manages to pay a very iconic tribute to the well-known hero and elevate his status to a new-found glory. For 2004, the film has very complicated special effects but not so elaborate to make it a kitsch special effects film!
  Ron Perlman deserves a "Job well done" from all comic hero fans from all over the world. His face is like it was destined to someday play Hellboy (with the mandatory make-up of course). John Hurt and Selma Blair react very well around Perlman as his step-dad and love thing, respectively. Rupert Evans gets in the way as a nanny, Doug Jones knows just about everything and Karel Roden is Rasputin. Nuff said!
Must watch this : go to the nearest tobacco and cigar shop and get yourself a big-ass cigar. After you have prepared a manly dinner (take-out or steak are the only two respectable options here), enjoy this movie accordingly.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167190/?ref_=nv_sr_2

I am just not getting paid enough

Why is always me to get dirty?

Now what am I supposed to do?

Santo Attacks the Witches (1968) a.k.a Atacan Las Brujas

  An evil witch and her young witch disciples have set up their own evil cult. They make plans of bringing demons and malicious spirits in the dimension of Earth. There is only man who can stop them and that is Santo...
  Santo's persona my have roughly appeared in more than 50 films. Ain't that something?! And for the better part of those 50 films, they are still so rare they are like pirate's gold. José Díaz Morales, a very notable Mexican director, directs this piece of art in which Santo deals with a cult of sexy witches and beats some hefty amount of ass. The amount of cult-ness in this film is way too much and many people may not stand it ; witchcraft, female cults and satanic rites, demons, wrestling, a masked avenger and insane dialogues. This one is only for those sic-cult in heart!
  Santo kept the mystery of his persona very well as he almost never appeared without his iconic silver lucha libre mask.At first it may seem idiotic to watch a masked man doing everyday chores and flirting with girls but if you bear in mind that it is what it is then you start to enjoy it. And since every macho man needs to be surrounded by foxy ladies, Lorena Velázquez and María Eugenia San Martín step in.
Must watch this : like a true Mexican hombre, roll up a nasty chimichanga, sit down and sip down some tequila. Try to avoid the worm!
Just a Taste
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057858/

Surprise dick!

Beefcake!

Shall we shag now or shall we shag later?

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

  Ricky and his extremely shy cousin Angela are sent to a summer camp. Angela is pretty isolated and things get worse when the camp is being terrorized by a series of extremely violent and shocking murders. Who is thirsty for such blood?
  For some reason, this film received a big cult status back in its time. It's a classic 80's slasher thriller but many of the necessary elements of the genre are missing. For a slasher, there is not enough fake blood while there are some smart murders. Also, there is no nudity which was a must in the 80's but I guess it's better that way since the actors are teenagers. For Robert Hiltzik, it must have been a lifelong dream so even for that it deserved your attention.
  Rightfully, all the characters have something about them that is so strange and sleazy that you know it's only the 80's. From Mike Kellin, the camp owner, to Karen Fields, the camp slut, and from Katherine Kamh, another camp slut, to Robert Earl Jones, at least this film boasts some interesting cast. Oh, yes and of course the main actors Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Christopher Collet.
Must watch this : on hot summer night with your date and some smokey sausages. By the end of the film, recreate the ending scene and thank me later!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086320/

Faster please. I gotta wax!

Ultra manly

Gotta scratch my back...

Secretary (2002)

  A young girl with psychological issues leaves the mental hospital and starts looking for a job. When she gets a position at Mr. Grey's office as his secretary, she starts finding out her boss's masochist nature. Instead of leaving, she falls in love with him and his extreme vices...
  Many years before the Fifty Shades of Shit craze hit our women, this film seemed to pioneer this movement. Even the main male character's name is Grey. They say steal from the best but certainly someone overdid it. Anyway, the film is actually a very good one with all the saucy elements given in a more humorous way and still in the end love prevails all vices, or at least it's combined. Kudos to Steven Shainberg for the great work and for marketing the issue of BDSM so good it convinced me to try it out!
  Both two main characters are played by two very suitable actors. James Spader looks exactly like the guy you wouldn't expect to torture and dominate his women ; handsome, somewhat socially successful but still his eyes hide a very twisted sexuality. Maggie Gyllenhaal is stunning ; she manages to portray something psychologically wrong inside her but still be very sexy without having to be naked!
Must watch this : with your girlfriend in order to convince to try some of that shit in this movie. It's a nice experiment!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/?ref_=nv_sr_2

So hot. Literally!

Mail this to your mother now!

Eyes wide slut

Dirty Harry (1971)

  San Francisco Police Inspector Harry Callahan is not your average detective. Using more violence than the ones he pursues, he is considered one of the forces' weapons but also a liability. When a killer who calls himself 'the Scorpio Killer' starts spreading death, Callahan is the only one who can stop him...
   To break the legend of Dirty Harry, this film's story is actually not that unique neither Don Siegel reinvents the wheel. But he fact that the script is so well written and that fact that Harry's persona is so outstanding is probably what made the movie become a cult classic throughout the years. And it's exploitation enough, too. There's enough cheese in there to cover the minimum standards of the cult exploitation legion.
  Clint. Clint Eastwood. The name sounds more badass than James Bond sometimes this guy aims to prove it every time he gets on screen. The facial expressions of Eastwood can only be imitated by Carrey but the overall posture and macho personality is a much greater gift. He was born with it. And when maniac sociopaths like Andrew Robinson (who makes a very cool villain by the way) start killing people, well he gotta kill back...
Must watch this : with a big ass burger like the one Dirty Harry eats at some point. Get a load of french fries and enjoy this film eating and wearing yur white tank top with your suspenders.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066999/?ref_=nv_sr_3

Never Hide! RayBan!

Not.

Think of the children, Brunhilde