Dark Shadows (2012)

  Barnabas Collins, an imprisoned vampire doomed to eternal life, is woken up after a 200-year sleep.  He returns to what his family's house only to find his descendants having dishonored the family name. Trying to set things right, he meets again the woman that cursed him and she once more tries to stop him from finding true love...
  Tim Burton revives a long forgotten television series by the same name that made it big between 1966 and 1971. Being the amazing storyteller that he is, it must have been a piece of cake for Burton to direct this and this is meant both good and bad. For one thing, Dark Shadows is a fun gothicee film with all the right touiches of cult references and a cool soundtrack but at some points it gets too Hollywood even for Burton. Still though, it surely won't make you feel you lost your time!
  Where there's Burton, there's always a hint of Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter and this film is no exception. Depp stars as the dusty vampire trying to settle in the confusing present, Bella Heathcote plays the girl who will make him fall in love again but Eva Green has other plans for that. Helena Bonham Carter, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloë Grace Moretz (dayum) and Gulliver McGrath fill up the rest of the seats on this crazy train!
Must watch this : you should have watched it in the cinema theaters. But if you lost that chance, you can still watch it on DVD on the first rainy days of autumn with a cup of herbal tea or Glühwein.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1077368/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Boo, you whore!

That's so fuckin' deep man

Fresh meat

Razorback (1984)

  A gigantic wild boar terrorizes the Australian outback. An old man whose grandson was killed by the boar devotes the rest of his life in finding and killing it. When an American activist journalist gets killed by the boar, her husband will team up with the old man in order to kill it...
  Russel Mulcahy before he gave life to the Highlander, worked on this little gem right here. This film is a grabber from the start ; it starts good, follows up good and stays this way to the end. And rightly so. I mean, how can any movie fail if it has all the essentials in it? Huge-ass monsters? Check. An haunting background environment? Check. Psychotic characters? Check. Hot Australian babes? Only one but she sure is a treat!
  Bill Kerr is the real protagonist here, if you ask me. His menace and passion to clear his name and revenge his grandson are lyrical and so is his death. Gregory Harrison, on the other hand, is too gay to survive in the Australian desert. But, surprise surprise he stays alive and manages to slay the boar and the two lunatics, Chris Haywood and Arkie Whiteley. And he gets the girl, Arkie Whiteley, just days after his wife gets killed. Where's your grief, asshole?
Must watch this : try to find some kangaroo meat (all the Australians skip this) and barbeque the shit out of the fucker no matter how hard your vegetarian friends protest. Get a six pack of Bundaberg Ginger Beers and enjoy this film like a true Australian hillbilly with your friends.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087981/?ref_=nv_sr_1

The Roadrunner was here

Bacon comes back to kill you.

Where all the stray dogs go in "civilized" countries!

Mad Max (1979)

  In a dystopian future, policemen struggle to sustain biker gangs that spread anarchy throughout the state. During a chase, officer Max kills the Nightrider, a gang's leader. To take revenge, the gang kills his partner and Max quits out of fear for his family. When, his wife and kid get killed by the gang, Max takes the law in his hands...
  The iconic hero persona of Mad Max starts here and gladly came to stay. His story is not one of a kind (it's a classic transform-and-revenge story) but the fact that it is set in the lonely and dangerous Australian desert gives it a whole new perspective. George Miller does not invent the wheel but we sure do like his view on it ; dusty and fast and leather-y with a lot of violence in it and just the perfect Aussie accent to get enough of your attention. If you haven't seen Mad Max, you are just a baby!
  Mel Gibson's first boost may as well have been this flick here. Mel gets to practice on his "mad" look and raunchy character but does not go off limits, just enough to make himself a cult icon. Hugh Keays-Byrne gets too theatrical but it's all in the game, since he is the deranged new gang leader, and Steve Bisley is Max's partner who gets his unjust side of the coin. Speaking of cult, I do not think I have seen a more awkward but unique police chief than Roger Ward. Obey the stache!
Must watch this : boring day, boring weather, boring everything. Make a cappuccino, get this playing and drive the boredom away. After the film, get in your car and drive around town hoping you can find some punks to get in trouble with!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079501/

That's some deep talk right there, kid!

Now, you are my bitch

"Police Brutality" "Shut up"