The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968)

  Fu Manchu has found a strange species of snake whose venom only affects. In his powerful master plan, he inoculates ten women with this venom in order to poison ten male leaders, bring chaos in the world and eventually preparing millions of doses for his world domination...
  Even on meager budget Jess Franco once again proves not only that he can make a film but also that he can make a good film without depending too much on nudity and drugs. Exploiting the persona of the notorious villain Fu Manchu, Franco creates a thrilling adventure with intense scenes, of course a minimum amount of nudity and epic pulp characters and dialogues. Another underground classic by a perverted mind...
  Much of the film's success (or call it whatever you want) depends and can be attributed to Christopher Lee. Even under shitty situation and sarcastic roles, Lee manages to sustain a classy character and dominate most of the space that he can take. And since it's a Franco film, presences like Maria Rohm, Loni von Friedl, Shirley Eaton and Tsai Chin could not be absent!
Must watch this :  with your stoner friends, a bowl half-full of the best Buddha Haze you can find and sugar-full soda drinks! Get high, get cranked and start growing Fu Manchu beards under the tunes of those fuzzy bastards.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062741/

Dat ass!

Bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt

You definitely don't look Chinese!

Something Weird (1967)

  A young man is involved in a terrible accident in which he is awfully disfigured in the face and acquires a set of weird psychic powers. A seemingly hot lady (only he can see her true nature) who works as a fortune teller offers to change his face only if he agrees to become her lover. An adventure out of the norm ensues...
  One of the most chaotic and out of the blue movies of Herschell Gordon Lewis, Something Weird is by far one of the most unexplainable plots you can ever witness in cinema. The movie easily surfs through karate practice, ghosts, gore, witches, sex and paranormal powers! Some say you have to watch this more than once to grasp its true meaning but truthfully I couldn't! So, any explanation about the meaning merely stays at a simple art-imitates-life and that any nothingness and vanity in finding the meaning simply co-relates to life's own gloomy vanity!
  It is indeed as weird a film as the title suggests and the following actors helped their way to make it so. Bombshell Elizabeth Lee and Mudite Arums are essentially the two different sides of the same person and
Tony McCabe is the unlucky fool to witness only the real, unpleasant side. And if that wasn't enough, he has the passionate William Brooker to bust his balls along the way!
Must watch this : sober in order to not to have any second thoughts if it was the film or your lack of consciousness. It was the film, don't bother. Also, I would advise not telling or showing it to anyone as they will get just another reason to take you for a lunatic.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062288/

Shit, I gotta stop using the razor

Not who I was hoping to see at a dark room at this time of the night

Surprise, motherfucker!

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

  Tumak, the son a tribe's leader is punished to exile by his father. Wandering the unfriendly land he lives in, fighting off dinosaurs and beasts, he finds another tribe much less violent than his but he is banished from there also. A girl from the second tribe follows him and together they must face the wilderness once again...
  Incredibly ahistorical to the last minute but utterly entertaining, One Million Years B.C is a fantasy adventure film directed by Don Chaffey. The breathtaking sets give the film an amazing breath of credibility and bind perfectly with the stop-motion (thank Ray Harryhausen) scenes. Though kid-like at many points, this film luckily has some adult-level violence inside it that makes the caveman concept more realistic.
  John Richardson as Tumak is enjoyable and easily makes a role-model for a man, that right kind of man who shoots first and then asks questions. Raquel Welch (as Loana) needs no special introduction as she remains a sex symbol since then and it's always a pleasure to see sex symbols in prehistoric bikinis! Percy Herbert is the arch enemy of Tumak and ironically he is his brother. It's like Cane and Abel shit all over again!
Must watch this : with your girl and a selection of mixed nuts. Watch this naked in order to feel in touch with your caveman side and try to use no words after the film for at least two hours! Now that's life imitating art!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060782/

Everybody saw that? He fell on his own!

Let that motherfucker down! He owes me money

Prehistoric bitch fight

Invasion of Astro-Monster (1965)

  A spaceship carrying two astronauts lands on Planet X which is near Jupiter. There the two astronauts discover that the planet is inhabited by the Xians who officially ask help from planet Earth to destroy the monster, King Ghidorah. Godzilla and Rodan are captured and sent to Planet X to aid them in their fight but little do humans know that they have just fallen into a trap...
  A fascinating entry in the story of Godzilla and his monster friends. Directed by Ishirô Honda, this film combines all the elements of a classic successful KaiJu film. The basic storyline of the film may be too progressive (aliens invading Earth etc.) but all the beautiful monsters work their way out. There's not a chance you can't fall in love with the special effects which however non-realistic show a great talent. And of course, don't miss Godzilla's busting into a gleeful dance when he defeats Ghidorah.
  Akira Takarada as Fuji may be too rough with his sister but he also has to save the entire planet together with his partner Nick Adams as Glenn. Akira Kubo saves the world by mistake when he can't even defend his love with Keiko Sawai, Fuji's sister. It is interesting how little drops of drama can work out so well with a heavy Sci-Fi story like that but hey, this is cinema after all!
Must watch this : lightly drunk on sake will do the trick. Remember to accompany with noodles or sushi (choice is yours) and friends who won't laugh too hard with the film's special effects!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059346/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Oh, yeah! We are gettin' high indeed

Flying monsters with electric beams! Welcome to Japan fantasy

Hahahaha, it tickles there. Stop!

Kiss Me Quick (1964)

  Sterilox, an alien from a distant planet comes as an ambassador on Earth in order to find and bring back females with which his people can breed. Dr. Breedlove hosts him and treats him with a series of sexy dancing girl robots...
  Don't expect anything serious at all but what you are indeed expecting you will get. Bearing in mind that the genre's standards are extremely low, Peter Perry Jr. creates an unexpectedly funny nudie film filled with nude girls, monsters and tons of cheesy exploitation. The set is no more than a room filled with fake scientific machinery but that adds more than takes out from the film's atmosphere. A fine choice for laughs and easy-passing time!
  Max Gardens, Frank A. Coe and all the female cast have an sum amount of acting skill less than that of 10-year-old kid with stage fright but still the work is done. It must be that the girls are supposed to be all strippers that this film turned out well, an important factor that one should never undermine! Strippers never fail!
Must watch this : again let's remind not to take this film seriously. Thus, one should create a lovely banquet of club sandwich, french fries, dips and cheap soda drinks, invite over his mates and have a fascinating time staring at boobies for 67 minutes!
Best Trailer Ever
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058264/

What better place to chill half-naked than a lab

Daaayum, look at that hair, Jamica

Idly swingin'

Samson and the Slave Queen (1963) a.k.a Zorro Contro Maciste

  The two nieces of late Nogara's King, Isabella and Malva, battle for the succession of the throne. Each one chooses a worthy hero to produce the will that will solve all matters. While Malva's ways are too malevolent, her strongman hero, Samson, eventually teams up with El Toro of Isabella to bring justice...
  Italian master Umberto Lenzi in one of his first films paves the way for future creations in the same category. The fairy tale-like atmosphere that the film creates is unique and is not for little girls only. With just the right scenes of sword-fighting and man-to-man wrestling, this film easily puts you in a feel-good mood with its simple storyline and classic but not boring plot twist. A manly adventure fantasy film for the sentimental but macho men out there!
  Pierre Brice plays El Toro a.k.a Zorro in this film and while his character's presence is not so dominant in the film, he smoothly co-stars Alan Steel as Samson a.k.a Maciste. This film is all about him, his jacked-up chest and ginger hair and his ultra-human power. Maria Grazia Spina beautifully plays Isabella, the good and naive of the two successors while Moira Orfei |(my personal favorite) is the foxy and cunning evil niece!
Must watch this : on a scorching hot day with chilli con carne and good lager beer. Turn on all the fans and air condition in the house, call up your friends, take a couch each and enjoy without moving a muscle!
Teaser Duel
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057467/

Damn, that hold-your-breath trick does not work

No, he found my Fap Cave

Huzzah!

Secret of the Red Orchid (1962) a.k.a Das Rätsel der Roten Orchidee

  Several wealthy Britons are being blackmailed all over Great Britain and two rival Chicago gangs are in the eye of the police. The gangs leave no trace behind them and so the difficult task is left to Scotland Yard's and F.B.I's finest, Inspector Weston and Captain Allerman...
  In yet another Edgar Wallace story, Helmut Ashley (a director known for his T.V work) does his best and provides a stunning result that can satisfy even the most demanding eye. Even though the story is not top-notch material, photography and directing give it a little push to stand on its own. Definitely not the best Wallace-based film but sure one you can easily enjoy.
  Adrian Hoven and Christopher Lee are the two investigators who are set out to find the extortioners and naturally Lee's appearance in the film guarantees quality acting. Klaus Kinski is once again morbidly entertaining with his unearthly look and adds up to Lee's figure and Marisa Mell takes it away with her stunning looks. Eddi Arent is the light-hearted one of the group and is absolutely humorous!
Must watch this :  invite the sophisticated girl from last night once again for another round of a sophisticated bohemian film noir night. Ask her to bring red wine with her. If she does, then prepare for a night of sophisticated seduction. If not, just enjoy the film anyway!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055391/

I would tap you if you weren't so skinny

Am I the only one around here who thinks we should bring strippers?

Yes! Because a coat brings swift agility for a night thief!