The Wizard of Gore (1970)

  A mysterious performer becomes the talk of the town when he starts his live show in which he performs illusion tricks with lots of realistic gore. A TV hostess and her boyfriend start closing in on him as they feel that he can hypnotize people and make them participate in his deadly shows. What is real and what is not?
   Herschell Gordon Lewis was already a known figure in the world of sleazy cult when he made this film. And that fact ensures that the Wizard of Gore is going to be full of the cheap-thrill and sleazy elements that we love. The amount of gore is generous enough to satisfy even the most demanding sick eye. Together with the heavy air of exploitation that lingers on the film and the twisting plot, The Wizard of Gore is an entertaining flick for any open-minded viewer.
  Classic acting for a film of this kind but not the bad kind. Ray Sager goes all in his role as Montag, the perverted magician and Judy Cler tries unsuccessfully to stop him from killing all those innocent bimbos. Even if the overall acting is not so bad, all the actors seem to be trying to much to seem as actual actors, like they know someone is watching and they are tense to appear realistic. This did not set me off but made the film seem more down to earth and thus surrealistic!
Must watch this : make a juicy steak with the blood and everything and celebrate gore and murder by watching this film and then blasting this butchery shit !
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066578/

What happens if I mix Jagermeister with Red Bull?

No, without onions, thank you! Yes, the Ministry of Internal Affairs, second floor

Bitches be fallin' for my charm!

The House By The Cemetery (1981) a.k.a Quella Villa Accanto Al Cimitero

  Norman Boyle and his family, Bob and Lucy, move in to a new house in New England in which Norman's old colleague murdered his wife. Out for rough new start, a creepy babysitter is hired for Bob, who starts to be friends with Mae, a girl he only sees. When Bob, gets to the basement, the house's dark secrets are about to unfold...
  Borrowing elements from other notable films of the same genre, Lucio Folci manages to put together an interesting piece of Italian supernatural horror. The colors and settings (a mansion is always scary) of the film definitely upgrade the frightful and doomy atmosphere while a carefully executed soundtrack binds it all together. Surely worth its trouble, The House of The Cemetery is a classic in its category and a must see for any dedicated fan.
  Paolo Malco and  Catriona MacColl are the couple who just couldn't listen to their son's objections on moving! Giovanni Frezza is the sweet preschooler with an eye for beautiful dead girls of his age like Silvia Collatina. Ania Pieroni is the babysitter who besides being fucking creepy can easily fulfill any sick fantasies about babysitters!
Must watch this :  in a holiday house in the woods in the middle of nowhere when you are on a trip with your friends! Have a nice day with hiking and stuff but when the night comes be afraid of secrets in the house! Yikes!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082966/

And I just went and bought the most haunted!

I wonder why I can't open the door

Kid's got some balls

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

  Clarice Starling, a young F.B.I trainee, is assigned on the case of Dr. Hannibal Lecter and her job is to create a psychological profile of him. From their conversations, the agent manages to collect information about another serial killer, Bufallo Bill, and while everyone is busy hunting him, Hannibal makes his out of the prison...
  Jonathan Demme directs the second film ever to tell the story of Hannibal Lecter, the man-eating serial killer that lived in the books of Thomas Harris. Heavily atmospheric and dark, this film can make you stay breathless for its most part. Using the right amounts of gore and of course lots of psychological tension, The Silence of The Lmbs grabs you by the hair, pulls you in its devouring hunger and does not let go utnil you scream!
  Anthony Hopkins steals everybody's thunder in the film and that is justifiable. His overall performance together with his mentally calm look and movement really makes you think this man is indeed a lunatic killer! Jodie Foster works well by his side as the tense but ambitious F.B.I agent. Cult icons Roger Corman and Charles Napier also make cameo appearances!
Must watch this : alone on a rainy November night and then try to eat meat!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102926/

Welcome to my humble abode. Will you stay for dinner?

Here, bitch! Grab your lunch!

Yeas, Clarice,wanna come over again? I am having a friend for dinner!

Chicken Run (2000)

  The chickens at a chicken farm have unsuccessfully tried many times to escape from their prison. Their owner has plans of turning the farm into a meat-processing factory and when a fancy rooster arrives by chance at the farm, the chickens find in him their savior...
  Peter Lord and Nick Park (Wallace and Gromit) are responsible for this masterpiece! Using innocent humor but for gloomy situations, this film manages to amuse children as well as grown-ups. Primarily being an escape film with the obvious twist, Chicken Run will have you laughing with the chickens' generic reactions but still in the end you are left with some food for thought about animal treatment (well, not so much you fuckin' hippie)!
  Borrowing the voices Mel Gibson, Julia Sawalha, Miranda Richardson, Benjamin Whitrow, Lynn Ferguson and a bunch of other talented people, this film offers small doses of British humor carefully handled to fit children too so don't expect anything lewd or malevolent. Nevertheless, since you are an adult you can always use a different angle and this film will suddenly surprise you!
Must watch this : on a scorching hot summer day evening! Spend the day at the beach with friends or at the pool (or both), then chill out in the sun with beers and cigarettes and at night enjoy this film with a big barbecue dedicated on chicken! That's life!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120630/

Chicks be loving old cocks!

Oh, yes darling. Just a little to the left!

WooHoo! Our lucky day!

The Exorcist (1973)

  A young girl starts behaving unnaturally and her mother is convinced that she is possessed by some demonic entity. The mother asks the help of two priests who agree to perform the ritual of exorcism on the girl. But first they must test the depths of their faith in God...
  Totally groundbreaking in its time and still preserving its horror glory, The Exorcist is a film that with few special effects will manage to spook you out of your clothes. Directed by an already pro director back then, William Friedkin, this film paved the way for various other films of the same theme and is allegedly responsible for multiple massive social freakouts back in the 70s and not only for his world famous them song! A must see for anyone anywhere!
  Jason Miller has the lead role as Father Karras, a priest who seems to have lost his faith in God but manages to find it again through the hard practice of exorcism. A role that was intended for Jack Nicholson, Miller seems to make it his own! Max von Sydow helps him along the way but does not seem to hold well exorcising young Linda Blair, a sometimes beautiful but sometimes fucked-up possessed kid! Maybe it's all because of her stuck-up mother, Ellen Bursty. Who knows!?
Must watch this :  with an empty stomach because sensitive or not, this film contains some scenes that shake up the urge for vomit! Dim the lights, light up some candles and enjoy on a breezy autumn night!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070047/

Mom, stop staring! You are freaking me out!

Had a date with the Devil. Did not end well

Alright, it's not gay if it's in a threeway. So...how do we do this?

The Wild Bunch (1969)

  Pike Bishop is the leader of an outlaw gang of aging criminals. After performing their latest job, the gang decides to retire  from their wild life. But their adventures are not over yet and they still have a long way to go into the Wild West...
  Legendary director Sam Peckinpah directs yet another legendary western film filled with intense and run-down characters in a filthy environment. Amazing and breathtaking background and adrenaline-packed scenes that let the characters evolve and unfold. This is where the not-so-cheesy punchlines get their special day and where bullets have the same power as balls!
  For such a film, Peckinpah would not allow the cast to be anything different than what he would choose. Enter William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, Ben Johnson, Warren Oates, Jaime Sánchez and master Emilio Fernández. Don't be surprised that women are not a big thing in this film. This is as manly as a manly western film can get, with ideals and concepts only pleasing to men. This is The Expendables only 40 years earlier!
Must watch this : have a big all-day party with all your dudes. Start with gymnastics and showing off, continue with a big ass all-meat barbeque and end with cigar and cognac session. Play this film right after the meat is ready and the beer is cold and flowing!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065214/

With these 2 coins I can buy your mother for a night!

This is borderline gay, guys...

How many Mexicans does it take to load a gun?

The Andromeda Strain (1971)

  Almost all of Piedmont's residents are found dead and their bodies in peculiar condition. A group of scientists are secretly employed on finding out what killed them. They find out that it is an alien virus and they must do everything they can to stop it from spreading...
  Robert Wise is an old sailor in this genre so you know that this film is going to be good! The story and its progress is absolutely amazing and you can see that there was a great amount of work to make this film almost perfect. Both the scientific basis of the plot and the special effects equipment are surprisingly believable for a Sci-Fi flick of the era! A must watch for any person with a vast imagination and will for thought!
  The cast was definitely not selected by chance. Besides knowing their past work, one can see that their reactions and portrayed feelings are excitingly realistic. Each one of the scientists is a whole different personality and the clash between them is entertaining and surely adds up to the quality of the film. Arthur Hill, David Wayne, James Olson, Kate Reid and Paula Kelly, all show familiarity with the supposed equipment they use and that makes them look even more like real scientists.
Must watch this : on a random Sunday night. Prepare a Caesar salad and a glass of iced tea and let this film take you in its thrilling and anxious atmosphere!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066769/

Tequila never again

I can already hear the animal rights activists' shouts

Extreme dose of ganja. I repeat extreme dose of ganja!

The Topless Story (1965) a.k.a Die Oben Ohne Story

  A male fashion designer has an argument with a female magazine editor and decides to leave New York. He travels around the world and ends up in Greece and various nudist colonies...
  That's pretty much it. The two above lines describe fully the abysmal plot of this European sexploitation. Directed by Wolfgang Selnig, for whom it was the one and only break into cinema, The Topless Story does not re-invent the wheel but does not re-invent anything else either. Any sexploitation cliche is here and it's good but together you get all the boring aspects of an uninspired excuse for nudity. Proceed with care!
  John Wala, Birgit Nielsen, Bambi Miller and Dolly Doreac and that's probably all you we need to say about the actors. That and the fact that they go around naked or meeting and having fun with other naked people! If you dig that stuff then this movie is averagely bad. I can't think what happens if you don't dig that stuff...
Must watch this : don't do that. It's a waste of an hour and 10 minutes. If you insist though,get high and have it playing in the background while you do the housework. There is no other way you can watch this.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0210870/

Just me casually carrying this jar for no reason

Yes, this is dog!

Shit, I forgot to bring the beers

Zombie Lake (1981) a.k.a Le Lac des Morts Vivants

  1950s. Somewhere in post-war France, in a small village by a lake, people are starting to get killed once they go swimming or fishing in the lake. Soon, the village folk will find out that German soldiers killed during the WWII and thrown into the lake, are starting to reanimate and spread terror.Why are they turning back to life and how can they save their lives?...
  The overall quality of this film is so bad that it makes the film be actually superb. Jean Rollin directs (he later stated that he really regrets it) in the place of Jess Franco and the cult factor meter goes way too high. With enough nudity to be classified as a softcore flick, this film contains equal amount of super-cheap gore, Nazis and of course a humorous mood of "I don't actually care much". A must see for anyone who is eager to laugh!
  The absence of a serious plot and film progress does not let many of the actors portray their real talent, if any. However, Howard Vernon stands out for his unique style of acting and for being a usual underground personality which we enjoy to see!
Must watch this : with a bottle of sweet red wine, a selection of cheese and charcuterie and some tobacco. Blend with a fine company of your choice.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081027/

Can you not get a fucking room?

Yeahi, skinny dipping in the lake

Be good to your parents and study hard, mkay?

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

  The true story of Frank Abagnale Jr., an extremely young forger who by the age of 19 managed to scam money out of Pan Am, hospitals and lawyer offices. An inside look in his life and deeds and how he was finally apprehended by F.B.I agent Carl Hanratty...
  Having spent years in the process of development, this film was finally let to Steven Spielberg to direct. Using his own mix of drama, comedy and action, Spielberg manages to give an easy-flowing depiction of a real-life anti-hero while presenting us with both side of the same coin. The photography and overall settings really built up the momentum of the film and give it an international police-and-thieves kind of mood.
  Tom Hanks plays the cat chasing the smart little mouse Leonardo DiCaprio. Completing each other lives, personalities and actions, Hanks and DiCaprio manage to become a duo of authentic hero/arch enemy and the beauty is that you can;t see who is who. Completing the cast is Christopher Walken, Nathalie Baye and Amy Adams.
Must watch this :  in the middle of spring with a Mojito and a shrimp salad. After the film, plan a trip to Italy because that's the only way to feel even a bit as cool and cunning as Frank Abagnale Jr..
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264464/

No, fatso. It's "Voulez vous coucher avec moi?"

Fresh moves, bro!

I didn't know that flight attendant was your sister!

The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)

  Totally broke, Dr.Frankenstein returns to Karlstaad and starts his experiments once again in his family castle. He requires the assistance of a hypnotist called Zoltan in order to reanimate the creature, but Zoltan has other plans for it. He orders it to wreak havoc in town for his own profit and Frankenstein has to stop them both...
  Freddie Francis' first attempt at directing seems to have paid off just fine. Recreating and enhancing the dark persona of Dr.Frankenstein, Francis puts his own touch to the film legend. All the gothic and the Sci-Fi elements are there but this time we get an extra dosage of mysticism and parapsychology which definitely makes the film gloomier and more dangerous. A fine film with a smooth progress that doesn't let you get bored.
  Peter Cushing once again as Dr.Frankenstein and this time he sees his creations being abused by some other malevolent personality besides him. His arch enemy, Peter Woodthorpe blends in effortlessly in the film's mood. Katy Wild as the beggar girl and Sandor Elès as Frankenstein's assistant complete the main cast of this mesmerizing flick!
Must watch this : on a hot summer evening with a plate full of fish and chips. I don't know why but it seems like a good combination with this film.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058073/

Listen, I got a plan. We will spy on Mrs. Frankenhooker tonight. Totally incognito!

I am the master of espionage

Should I do a pedicure as well?

Swedish Nympho Slaves (1977) a.k.a Die Sklavinnen

  A father and his right hand pay a handful amount of money in order to get back the father's kidnapped daughter. The kidnappers never return the daughter so they kidnap a whorehouse owner whom the police have been trying to get for years. Now it is time for some answers...
  Jess Franco hits again. With Erwin C. Dietrich by his side as a writer and producer, Franco goes big this time as the money flows. Same old cast and same old Franco-style progress guarantee an entertaining plunge into the abyss of sleazy bars and whorehouses, drugs, money and sex. Franco was never a director for whom people would have a certain idea. Same goes here. If you didn't like him anyway, you willhate him for this film. If you liked him, now you will love him.
  Lina Romay is (guess what) the whorehouse master, Madame Arminda, and deals heavily with prostitutes and drugs.Of course, she is naked throughout most of the film. Martine Stedil is the poor daughter who got caught up in the web and a cult Vítor Mendes is her father. Jess Franco appears in this too, as always, as the father's goon. Attention : full frontal nudity or semi-full frontal nudity is profound in this film so watch at your own risk!
Must watch this : on a slow-paced evening, summer or spring. Open your window to let the sounds of the city come in, open up a cheap beer and submerge in this film like you would submerge in a pool with hot, steamy water. After the film, listen to that sick mofo to wake you up from the haze!
Whole Film
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0193510/

Okay, I swear I did not leave my kitchen!

I should have never left school

What the fuck am I doing here?

Piranha (1978)

  When two teenagers get killed in an abandoned military installation, Maggie McKeown with the help of Paul Grogan start investigating. What they are about to find is surely not what they expected as they uncover a Vietnam-war era project concerning a swarm of killer fish...
  Directed by Joe Dante, this film is a fast-pacing adrenaline rush with a serious plot. Massively exploiting the 50's monster movies theme and idly mocking Jaws, Piranha may be a B-movie but it surely gets its thing done the way it should. Special effects are obviously cheap but the direction and the settings make it even and allow the story to unwind in its own energetic and atmospheric way. A must-see for all dedicated fans!
  Heather Menzies-Urich is the city-living career woman who just does not fit in the woods and Bradford Dillman is her unlikely companion,a drunk lumberjack, in this adventure to rid the lake of the killer fish. Together and with the help of some veterans such as Kevin McCarthy, Keenan Wynn and Barbara Steele (!) the deadly swarm is destroyed....For now!
Must watch this : enjoy on a breezy summer night after spending the whole day at the beach or the lake (!). Enjoy with your friends and a tuna salad and after the film tell scary stories about killer fish,sharks and crabs and watch as the girls get the jippers!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078087/

Alright, Jack. It's not funny anymore. Give me my underwear back!

Blurp blurp, motherfuckers! Snatching up yo shit!

Not my castle you fucking asshole!