Cast Away (2000)

  A FedEx executive seems to have his life planned ; a good job, a perfect girlfriend and a marriage on the way. All these are about to change as his plane crashes somewhere in the Pacific Ocean during a storm. Stranded on a deserted island, he must find a way to get back or face the fact that he will die there...
  Robert Zemeckis trusts Tom Hanks once again and the result is a perfect mix drama and soft comedy. Trying to pry into the mind and feelings of a person alienated from his peers, Cast Away draws fine allegories between a cast way and each and every one of us that may be surrounded by people but still feel alone. Amusing humor and nice settings guarantee a good-mood film but the ocean of mixed feelings portrayed here will certainly allow you to connect more with the character. A fine drama film but not too dramatic!
  Alongside Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt, as his girlfriend, has the only second bigger role. Hats off to Tom Hanks for managing to carry the weight of a film with basically only one character inside it. You can witness the stages of a man on the edge of losing his mind but never losing his hope. Besides, not many actors can make friends with a volley ball and still make you feel sad when they get separated.
Must watch this : right before you set off for vacation somewhere far, watch this and get emotionally prepared for anything. Enjoy with a cold beer of your choice and corn salad. Watch it with a friend (or more) and feel blessed that you may not be so alone in the universe after all.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162222/

Always wear your seat belt

The perils of free camping

Maybe I should just get back to my island...

Color Me Blood Red (1965)

  A young painter at the end of his inspiration decides to start experimenting with his own blood instead of red paint. Finding his new project morbidly exciting, he keeps using his blood for paint until he is too weak to go on and so he starts taking blood from people he kills. When it's for art, how far is too far?
  An interesting addition to the legend of Herschell Gordon Lewis, Color Me Blood Red is a flick deep into the exploitation genre. While its character is downright low-budget and amateur, its main idea and plot is quite interesting and innovative. The classic Gordon Lewis gore and fake blood effects are all there to please even the most demanding eye plus we get a handful of violence all in favor of art and creation. They just don't make them like that anymore.
  For some reason, acting follows a specific pattern I would only expect from a Gordon Lewis film. Following that rule, the actors appear stiff at some points because they were not professionals and this was not a serious production but they still keep they easy-going mood, I-don't-give-much-shit-that-I-am-looking-in-the-camera approach of a true exploitation actor. Gordon Oas-Heim is the experimenting painter, Elyn Warner is his girlfriend who has to take it all and Scott H. Hall is the owner of a gallery that has the privileged to host these bloody creations.
Must watch this : with a friend who studies Art and a selection of everything red ; a juicy steak, tomatoes, red wine, a Bloody Mary etc. Then start a conversation about the pretense of most artistic endeavors and argue on what is art and what is not. Good conversations start from shitty sources!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059044/

Sit still, I missed a curve

We will price that painting at $20,000

I thought it was a simple modelling job

Zombieland (2009)

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Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

  A small fishing village is getting harassed by what seems to be a group of unidentified underwater creatures. People get killed, women get raped but still nothing can been done to stop them. What are these creatures? Are they human or fish? Who is going to survive their claws?
  What seems to be totally worthless of any attention turns out to be an amusing horror film. Directed by Barbara Peeters, Humanoids easily pick up the story where Creature from the Black Lagoon leaves it and works perfectly as a prequel. Setting a very good atmosphere. this film exploits the horrifying subject of an underwater mutant and adds the right doses of nudity, gore and cheap but believable special effects. A classic for a good 80's film of the kind.
  One should not expect much from the acting in this film but one surely gets what he paid for. Classic American style of acting without any glitches but shiny and ethical in just the right spots. So, meet Doug McClure, Ann Turkel, Vic Morrow and Lynn Theel who make this sleazy film reality. I personally liked the girl in the tent but (surprise) her role was not long enough!
Must watch this :  this is a classic good-time horror Sci-Fi film that has to be watched with friends. Alone will do too but friends always make it better. Gather up, cook dishes with tuna fish (heh), sprinkle with cheap beer and enjoy this film with a salty taste in your mouth. Remember, salty is the taste of blood!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080904/

Sick tunes, bro.

A.C.A.B

Last one to the top is a pussy!

Legacy of Satan (1974)

  A young couple in love, George and Maya, is up for a new set of adventures. One of their friends, Arthur, has a weird hobby and secretly spends his free time with a satanic sex cult. Soon, Arthur will try to seduce Maya into joining the fun and the trouble starts...
  Legacy of Blood is one fucked up exploitation that guarantees a maximum level of sleaze and cult! Gerard Damiano does one hell of a job and shoves every aspect of the 70's that make a cult film in the 69 minutes of this guilty pleasure. Super grainy color, satanic sex rites, an ultra dramatic semi-religious cult with disturbing bling-blings and the right amounts of horror sex. For a fan of the genre, it doesn't get any better than this. You can almost smell the filth!
  Not much to say separately about the actors other than the fact that they seem to be taking their parts more seriously than one would expect. The sense of drama is profound throughout the film and Lisa Christian, Paul Barry, James Procter and Deborah Holden do everything they can to deliver the feeling of super fucking highness as best as they can!
Must watch this : this calls up for the good-old gathering of friends, men and women. Empty up bottles of alcohol, smoke up blunt after blunt and enjoy this dirty film stoned and drunk! Cool off with that heavy riffage.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139421/

I swear it has never happened to me before

Niggas be respectin' ma moon bling bling

Drown, bitch, drown!

Planet of the Apes (1968)

  Three astronauts traveling through time and space crash land on what they think to be a new planet similar to the Earth. Soon, they realize that they are not the dominant species on this new found land and they have to face a race of apes with human intelligence who enslave and use the unintelligent humans as pets and lab rats...
  Franklin J. Schaffner puts his signature on one of the Sci-Fi's that changed the progress and history of the genre. Based on the novel by Pierre Boulle, Planet of the Apes may seem ultra exploitation and cheap at first glance but there is definitely more than meets the eye. Meddling with issues unknown for its times like human-animal codependency and relationships and of course the still not hot topic of protection the environment, this film manages to provide an intelligent Sci-Fi story with a ton of food for thought and over the top but still earthly special effects that will get you in the mood.
   Charlton Heston is simply enjoyable in his own unique way. Presenting a person fed up with humans and their miserable doings, Heston becomes a mature hero with a brain beyond his time, ready to take on new challenges in the universe. I personally see a fine allegory drawn as Heston being humanity on the verge of  change. Roddy McDowall and Kim Hunter co-star but sadly not much can be said about their acting as they are in a suit.
Must watch this : with intelligent company and cold salad on a hot summer night. Take time to discuss the topics manifested on the film and feel like the highly intellectual being that you must. Wonder if we are indeed as intelligent as we think and cool off with that hairy mofo.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063442/

So, yeah I smoked the whole bowl!

Ape Police brutality

Fuck the police

Kiss Me Monster (1969) a.k.a Küß Mich, Monster

  Sexy secret agents Diana and Regina are once again on a secret mission. Following the mysterious trail of a deadly message, the two spies travel to a Caribbean island and seek the traces of a secret society called Abilene that acts in absolute secrecy. Accepting their new mission from Abilene, they will soon find that that end of the mystery is nowhere near...
  Much like Sadist Erotica, Kiss Me Monster is an unorthodox spy spoof film by none other than the notorious Jess Franco. Instead of ultra macho men spies you get two ultra bimbo women spies with an awful taste for a high-class living. Surreal at most of its parts, unbelievable in others, this film guarantees a cheap quality amount of time with a groovy psychedelic soundtrack and the minimum amount of nudity that a Franco film can stand. If you can dig it, dive in!
  Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni are the protagonist super-spy duo. Don't get fooled though. They certainly don't pass for any spies but they can easily go for high maintenance divas. It's not in the purpose of the film to make them look like spies either! Never afraid of danger and always seducing everything in their way they go on and solve the case with or without the help of Chris Howland, Michel Lemoine and Manuel Velasco.
Must watch this : on a hot and slow summer afternoon with a cocktail hard enough to make this movie sufferable! After the film, find the nearest swimming pool and go chill!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061432/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

"Play Smells like teen spirit" "No."

Leave the stage like a lady

We must be getting near Amsterdam

Serpico (1973)

  The film tells the true story of Frank Serpico, a young police officer who is more than ambitious to become a detective. Working his way up to his target, he realizes his line of work is full of corrupt policemen. Serpico goes on and uncovers one of the biggest corruption schemes in the force and becomes a bad guy for all his comrades...
  Al Pacino in his golden years in a film directed by Sidney Lumet.You know what you are getting! Intense emotional escalation and vivid and realistic characters in a story that is more true than the air that we breathe. Serpico was way ahead of its time but still belongs in its time. Had it been filmed in another era, it wouldn't even shake a leaf. So, perfectly positioned in a transcending time of the human race and exploiting basic issues of the times (racism, xenophobia, corruption and dignity), this film manages to give a strong kick in the balls of the educated viewer.
  Al Pacino is the ever-clean cop with a vision of a fair and respectful police force that watches as his hope fades away within thousands of dirty dollars. Facing many double-faced corrupt colleagues, he goes and does what he must with the help of his trusted friends like Tony Roberts and John Randolph. His devotion almost has him killed but after all who doesn't want to be the Serpico in his line of work?
Must watch this : on a random night with the drink of your choice and a fine female company by your side. It's a good start to not scare her with your taste in films!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070666/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Yes, I am a cop. Why the weird looks?

Maybe I should grow a beard!

Beard might have been the wrong choice

Blood Beach (1980)

  Venice Beach, California. It's a hot summer and besides having to deal with all the tourists, the police are troubled with a recent series of disappearances and murders that happen on the beach. Nobody has any idea what is happening. Who are what is behind all this?
  In the mist of all the B (and even lower) movies, Blood Beach directed by Jeffrey Bloom (no wonder he never made more than 10 films) comes to fill up any voids there were in the theme of sea, beach and mystery. Being an ultra low-budget movie, Blood Beach lacks vastly in plot and effects. While the overall atmosphere tries to be ominous and thriller-y, the surrounding sets and effects just won't let it happen. If you got 85 minutes to waste, this is a good time waster.
  Surprisingly enough, the film boasts some high-class cult figures in its cast. Burt Young as a policeman who does not care much and his incomparable facial expression of cosmic boredom says it, John Saxon as the chief of police who is just too nervous, Marianna Hill and David Huffman. Sadly, besides Burt Young and John Saxon acts as if they were in a classic 80's soap opera so the level of emotional intensity goes that far. Had it been some other actors, maybe this film could have achieved a bigger cult status.
Must watch this : you don't miss out on anything if you don't watch this but if you have to watch it get a fatty cheeseburger and fries and have it playing in the background while you eat with your friends.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082083/

When the drugs don't work

Yes, tell me your story. I am all ears!

Motherfuckin' kids and their holes in the sand...

The Dead Zone (1983)

  Johnny Smith falls into a coma after a car accident. When he wakes up, he realizes he has gained some sort of psychic powers that allow him to see a fragmented vision of the truth or the future. Trying to put his life back together again, Johnny also has to find a way to use his "gift"...
  Another Stephen King novel finds its way to the big screen. David Cronenberg gets on with his magic stick ad even though he decided to jump through the book at most parts, the result is still acceptable for any King fan. The classic 80's colors make the film look exactly like what the novel tried to portray and the tension rises gradually and harmoniously. Cronenberg does an overall great job and he still manages to keep the novel's main food for thought ; if you knew, would you do it?
  Bill Murray was King's choice for the leading part but instead Christopher Walken was chosen to be Johnny Smith. Walken's out-of-earth look and uneasy posture give a tremendous plus to his portraying of the character while his slow speech and pause through his movements makes you believe he has actually waked from a coma. Brooke Adams is his long lost girlfriend, Herbert Lom is his friend and doctor, Anthony Zerbe is the man who helps him stand back on his feet and Martin Sheen is his arch enemy and his final mission. 
Must watch this : with garlic bread and Coca Cola, wrapped up in blankets on a random cold melancholic winter night! Each film to its own mood!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085407/

Excuse me. My milk is cold, sir!

Oh, no! Not American Idol again...

You can't shoot me! I am holding a baby

The Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978) a.k.a La Montagna Del Dio Cannibale

 Susan's anthropologist husband gets lost in the New Guinean jungle. In an attempt to save him, she convinces her brother and one of her colleagues to join her in an jungle expedition. Early inside their jungle trip, they get attacked by a cannibal tribe and saving their lives becomes a vital priority...
  Legendary Italian director Sergio Martino is not afraid to go all the way in this classic cannibal film. The colourful jungle forest scenes make the the film more vividly believable and the addition of a cult-fully presented tribe elevate it to another cult status. The 103 minutes of the film are alive with shocking violence between humans but also between animals and humans. Those with a taste for animal rights better stay away as this is no documentary and the animal blood is real!
  Ursula Andress is utterly enjoyable and breathtaking (as usual) as the classic bimbo scream queen that faces danger but still finds a way out of it by flashing her beauty. Stacy Keach finds the right balance between a macho and a city person but in the end his macho swag comes out and saves the day. An overall good experience acting-wise way far from the coldness of Hollywood. Viva Italia!
Must watch this : with a fresh exotic salad and a Mai Tai on a random summer afternoon. After the film, go to the beach and try not turning into a cannibal with everything you see there!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077945/

You came to wrong turf, motherfucker

Hmm Hmm. sweet black thing!

Bite the stick. It's gonna hurt

Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

  Linda Westinghouse works in a Turkish legal firm and is often troubled with erotic nightmares about a sexy female vampire that seduces her. When she gets assigned on the case of Countess Nadine Carody, Linda recognizes in her the vampire of her dreams.Is Linda losing her mind or is it all happening?
  Summer has deeply kicked in around here and the only thing better than a cold beer is a Jess Franco film about lesbian vampires,trippy psychedelia and erotic atmosphere. Using his well-known techniques, Franco manages to emphasize on the beauty of the woman body creating a picturesque result without falling into the trap of porn. Dreamy sequences, hazy mood, a pure 60's psychedelic soundtrack by Siegfried Schwab and a plot that is exploitative enough will definitely make you lose your mind.
  Ewa Strömberg is Linda, a pretty young lady who is gets hunted by the seducing vampire Countess Nadine, beautifully played by Soledad Miranda. Both actresses display some very theatrical talent in their performances but undoubtedly Soledad stands out for the incredible look in her eyes. Something between "high beyond all points" and "horny as hell" that surely made Dennis Price fall for her charm and powers.
Must watch this : after you have consumed a hefty amount of bad quality alcohol, a pack of cigarettes and a manly joint, allow yourself to be drowned in this film's heavy smoke on a random hot summer night. Cool off with a ride in your car and this fucker blasting !
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066380/.

First 3 minutes in the film...It's gonna be good

I am leaving you, Mary, for Pierre. He is a much better lover!

Are those real?

The Inconsolable Widow Thanks All Those Who Consoled Her (1973) a.k.a La Vedova Inconsolabile Ringrazia Quanti La Consolarono

   Catarina Prevosti's husband get tragically killed in a car accident and leaves her with grief and a huge amount of cash that legally is not hers. In order to get hold of the money, her plotting mother will convince her to get pregnant within a month and convince the lawyers that she is carrying her late husband's baby...
  Italian producers and directors said let's thrive in another genre besides Giallo, Horror and Western and so they started to experiment with Sex Comedies. This film here is a fine example of this genre since it's both exploitation and somewhat of quality. Mariano Laurenti directs and the story falls in the same category with American Pie but with the distinctive difference that this one here took actual humans to write and there is a hint of a twisted plot. So, if you are open-minded enough to take a lewd sexual pun or two and you are ready to laugh with stretched social situations, give it a try.
  Edwige Fenech is delightful to watch and goes smoothly from a poor widow with an apt for good acting to a bitch that has to have her money. I wouldn't want her to be my wife (I wouldn't mind something else, though), that's for sure! Carlo Giuffrè, Didi Perego, Guido Leontini and Pino Ferrara all bind perfectly together in this tragic/comical 98 minutes filled with steamy vibrations.
Must watch this : with Italian friends, thin crust pizza and lemonade on a random summer evening.
Whole Movie
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072356/

You want a piece of this?

Why do I have to wear so many clothes?

Bite the pillow!