White Dog (1982)

  A young actress finds a stray white dog and decides to take it home. The dog saves the girl's life when a burglar attempts to rape her but continues to show a violent behavior on different occasions. In an attempt to train the dog, the girl finds out that this is a "white dog", trained to attack and kill black people...
  Sam Fuller takes a seemingly exploitation story and turns it dead serious. At first glance, this film is another 80's thriller with no special acting or directing or anything. And that is mostly true about that film except for it's intelligent plot and story. As the story escalates the more we dive into an upsetting live of thought that easily could bother our times too ; is racism taught or born with, and if it's taught can we really un-teach it?
  Kristy McNichol plays the young and innocent Julie who loves her racist dog too much to put him to sleep so Paul Winfield gets the difficult task of training to dog back to being normal and he almost succeeds in it. Legendary Burl Ives also appears as the master trainer who knew too well was going to happen.
Must watch this : with your pretentious politically aware and awakened friends. Watch this film and then let it stir conversations over it's hot topic. Amuse yourself on how people tend to not know what they are talking about watch the conversation go round and round without anyone saying anything meaningful.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084899/

I will prescribe a shot of Niggathin in the dog and then we will see

Don't worry. He attacked cos you are black. Wait, sorry...what?

Damn, nigga. Get a manicure!

Dark Shadows (2012)

  Barnabas Collins, an imprisoned vampire doomed to eternal life, is woken up after a 200-year sleep.  He returns to what his family's house only to find his descendants having dishonored the family name. Trying to set things right, he meets again the woman that cursed him and she once more tries to stop him from finding true love...
  Tim Burton revives a long forgotten television series by the same name that made it big between 1966 and 1971. Being the amazing storyteller that he is, it must have been a piece of cake for Burton to direct this and this is meant both good and bad. For one thing, Dark Shadows is a fun gothicee film with all the right touiches of cult references and a cool soundtrack but at some points it gets too Hollywood even for Burton. Still though, it surely won't make you feel you lost your time!
  Where there's Burton, there's always a hint of Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter and this film is no exception. Depp stars as the dusty vampire trying to settle in the confusing present, Bella Heathcote plays the girl who will make him fall in love again but Eva Green has other plans for that. Helena Bonham Carter, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloë Grace Moretz (dayum) and Gulliver McGrath fill up the rest of the seats on this crazy train!
Must watch this : you should have watched it in the cinema theaters. But if you lost that chance, you can still watch it on DVD on the first rainy days of autumn with a cup of herbal tea or Glühwein.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1077368/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Boo, you whore!

That's so fuckin' deep man

Fresh meat

Razorback (1984)

  A gigantic wild boar terrorizes the Australian outback. An old man whose grandson was killed by the boar devotes the rest of his life in finding and killing it. When an American activist journalist gets killed by the boar, her husband will team up with the old man in order to kill it...
  Russel Mulcahy before he gave life to the Highlander, worked on this little gem right here. This film is a grabber from the start ; it starts good, follows up good and stays this way to the end. And rightly so. I mean, how can any movie fail if it has all the essentials in it? Huge-ass monsters? Check. An haunting background environment? Check. Psychotic characters? Check. Hot Australian babes? Only one but she sure is a treat!
  Bill Kerr is the real protagonist here, if you ask me. His menace and passion to clear his name and revenge his grandson are lyrical and so is his death. Gregory Harrison, on the other hand, is too gay to survive in the Australian desert. But, surprise surprise he stays alive and manages to slay the boar and the two lunatics, Chris Haywood and Arkie Whiteley. And he gets the girl, Arkie Whiteley, just days after his wife gets killed. Where's your grief, asshole?
Must watch this : try to find some kangaroo meat (all the Australians skip this) and barbeque the shit out of the fucker no matter how hard your vegetarian friends protest. Get a six pack of Bundaberg Ginger Beers and enjoy this film like a true Australian hillbilly with your friends.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087981/?ref_=nv_sr_1

The Roadrunner was here

Bacon comes back to kill you.

Where all the stray dogs go in "civilized" countries!

The Wicker Man (1973)

  A policeman is sent via seaplane to a Scottish island where a young girl is supposed to be reported missing. The few people living on the island are more than unwilling to help him find the girl. When the pieces of the puzzle start falling together, the policeman will hope he had never set foot on the island...
   Robin Hardy had a great vision when he first wrote and directed this film. Even now, 41 years later, this director has not stopped working on this film's sequels so as to complete his so-dreamed of trilogy. Combining such thrilling themes as modern paganism and bloody pagan rites, the Wicker Man never lets the viewer drift off from the amazing mystery mood. An amazing soundtrack was written to accompany this "nature-loving, people-burning, orgy-organizing" film along its stony way. Too bad it was remade with Nicholas Cage starring in it!
  Edward Woodward is simply amazing and manages to portray vividly the anger, fury, anxiety and devotion of a strict police officer in a mouse-and-cat chase. Christopher Lee takes a different road than the one we have known him for and does his trick again; legend has it he never accepted any payment for his performance. And since it's a British film and it's the sexy 70's Britt Ekland, Diane Cilento and Ingrid Pitt could not be absent from this flesh feast!
Must watch this :  naked and au naturelle on a sunny spring afternoon preferably on the first of May. Watch it alone or with a female companion and of course the obligatory fruits, bread and wine in order to sacrifice on the Walpurgisnacht to please the gods of fertility.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

Motherfuckers?! Did you start an orgy without me?

There there!

Clam down, ladies. There is enough for all!

Rango (2011)

  Rango, an "ordinary" pet chameleon, finds himself in the Mojave desert, in the town of Dirt, after an accident.For the first time, Rango gets to interact with other living creatures and has to find his true identity while trying to put an end in the misery of his fellow townspeople.
  Gore Verbinski's previous is indeed a bit on the childish side but this film, however juvenile it may seem it holds some serious lessons for adults in it. Through beautiful, fully-digitized animation techniques, Rango manages to get through his messages and create a good-vibe atmosphere for both kids and grown-ups. Extra points for the cheesy old Western films references!
  Johnny Depp in yet another one of his roles as an aloof and weird personality. He is quite enjoyable as the goofy lizard trying to pose as a real man-lizard and so is the rest of the cast; Isla Fisher, Ned Beatty, Alfred Molina, Bill Nighy and Stephen Root. It's also amazing in these films that each character gets to look like the actor-actress that gives their voice for this character. I guess technology never seizes to amaze me.
Must watch this : alone or with your friends for some quality time! Spend time to make a good dish and enjoy with the film and a cold Desperado beer.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1192628/?ref_=nv_sr_1

It wasn't me!

Lizard Van Gogh

10$ love you long time

Goodfellas (1990)

  Henry Hill, James Conway and Tommy De Vito start from the bottom of the Mafia ladder as teenagers and work their way up through numerous violent deeds and criminal acts. Their 30-year service in the Mafia is violently put to a stop when they start dreaming too big...
  Martin Scorcese's thing for Mafia films is more than evident and we certainly can't argue with his addiction. Being a biography, this film focuses on the personalities of the heroes and how they evolve through time and hardships rather than staying on the criminal deeds. Glamor and luxury seem to come and go with money and power but this film reminds that way down the road it's all for nothing! A classic Scorcese!
  Ray Liotta steals the show here, even though the rest of the cast is equally talented. His character's way up the Mafia hierarchy and then his way down is vividly portrayed in his expressive face and eyes. Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci are his best friends from the start and just when everything seemed to be getting great, the toll of greed for money and power evens things up...
Must watch this :  on a rainy November afternoon. After the film, make yourself a cup of coffee and sit yourself down and consider why on earth are you still doing what they tell you!
Extensive Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099685/

What is the matter with the world these days?

Gimme my kush or more ketchup is coming.

Livin' La Vida Coca

Flesh Gordon Meets The Cosmic Cheerleaders (1989)

  Flesh Gordon is abducted by a group of cheerleaders who want him to help them with a problem ; their planet is polluted by radiation that  makes their men impotent. Evil Presence is responsible for all these and has an evil master plan. Can Flesh Gordon help in any way?
  Hands down the worst film I have ever seen! Take it each way you want ; by means of story, special effects,plot, acting this film sucks major ass! Director Howard Ziehm's career ended with that film and it goes without saying that it was necessary. Poor but imaginative scatological humor, an ocean of sex jokes and tons of tits and ass are what this film is all about. Come to think about it, it is not that bad after all!
  I shall save the lines that I would spare for the actors (I don't think they deserve any) and I will make fun of certain ridiculous moments in the film. A spaceship running on chicken energy, a "cockball" game (or whatever), the ridiculous names and everything (Dr.Jerkof, Robunda Hooters), a chicken smoking a cigarette, the Mammary Mountains...Fuck my brain is dead already.
Must watch this : DO NOT WATCH THIS! But if your mind is as sick as mine watch it just for the fun on a random boring afternoon with a cappuccino. A film is never bad when there are naked ladies in it! Come back to your senses with that twerk-inducing shit !
Trailer in German
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097365/

Galactic Orgy

This band is shit

The only he got from the shooting of this film

Beetlejuice (1988)

  A young couple dies in a ridiculous accident and return to their home as ghost. They find out that their house is sold to a new family and they do everything they can to get rid of them. In the end, they call for the help of a "bio-exorcist" but they forgot to think about the consequences...
  The second actual film of Tim Burton is an entertaining horror/black comedy with tons of enthusiastic innuendos about the after life and what follows. Burton presents his own humorous version of after-life matters and compares the organizing of the issues of the dead with those of a public service. Some interesting stop-motion techniques were used here and so, the film gets a more comic-y side to it. If your sense of humor isn't dark and twisted you may not enjoy this as much. In any other case, dig in!
  Michael Keaton of course steals the show as the demonic possession-er that aims to help the dead spook the living. Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin are actually entertaining as the newly-dead goofy couple who just don't seem to adapt to the dead lifestyle so good. Winona Ryder is a classic addition since this is a Burton and Glenn Shadix, Catherine O'Hara and Jeffrey Jones drop in to give their little weird piece of black comedy!
Must watch this : on a random rainy November weekday when you are exhausted from work. Order some cheap Chinese food and enjoy this one half asleep half unconscious!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094721/

Honey,we forgot to pout dead flour in the mix.

I had a card but my dead dog ate it!

Oh,shit. My leggings are ripped.