The Werewolf Vs. The Vampire Woman (1971) a.k.a La Noche de Walpurgis

  Elvira and Genevieve are traveling through the French countryside in search of a tomb from the medieval times, Countess Wandessa's. The tomb happens to be inside the property of Waldemar Daninsky, who invites to stay for as long as they want and do their digging up. When Elvira accidentally wakes up the vampire Wandessa, Waldemar is the only one who can save them. Or is he?
  Cult director León Klimovsky joins forces with Paul Naschy and the result is more than stunning. Despite its ridiculous funding (the special effects are ultra cheap but we love them like that), the film does not fail to amaze you with its fantastic settings and unbeatable atmosphere. The story is classic EuroHorror, exploiting in every way it can the legends of vampires and werewolves and creating an eerie mood that makes your spine shiver.
  Paul Naschy is one true legend of the cult! His work stands out of the fog of the EuroHorror genre and gives his own unique trashy style! His transformation from man to werewolf is remarkable in this film and so is his role as a noble man. Patty Shepard is his seductive arch enemy and Gaby Fuchs with Barbara Capell are the two nymphs that were looking to get in trouble!
Must watch this :  on a windy spring night when it's not too hot. Make a Bloody Mary and enjoy this film with the cool wind giving you the creeps!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066160/

And I was like whaaaaa?

Yeah, just jump right in...It's comfy

I swallow

Jurassic Park (1993)

  An amusement park entrepreneur is ready to open his new attraction on a tropical island ; a zoo not with common animals but with cloned dinosaurs! A group of scientists and a lawyer are brought to the island in order to be convinced to endorse the new business but all hell breaks loose when the power system goes off...
  When Stephen Spielberg wants he does one hell of a job! Back in these days when Sci-Fi was a cheap and sometimes trashy business, Spielberg strikes with Jurassic Park and gives a new breath to the genre. Filled with intense and thrilling scenes and following a logical advance that does not allow you to question its credibility, this film is a must for any Sci-Fan geek.
  Hats off to the animation and special effects people (way ahead of their times) because the film in this sector kicks ass. Sam Neill and please-marry-me Laura Dern are the main characters with ball-buster Jeff Goldblum and Richard Attenborough filling the rest. Besides Goldblum everyone works well with each other and elevate this film to a higher level.
Must watch this : right after a huge BBQ party with all your friends and only when yo have eaten enough to hate yourself. Relax and watch this movie and later on think about the millions of years of evolution and how is it possible that you ate that much! Accompany with that dino monster !
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107290/

How about I shove it up your ass?

I've had it with these mothafucking dinosaurs!

Niggas gotta run now!

Deep Jaws (1976)

  A soon-to-Bankrupt film studio comes out with a genius plan to scheme the government into funding a sexploitation film about mermaids. Various wannabe "actors" storm the studio seeking desperately for a role and various affairs start blooming here and there...
  Perry Dell only made 2 movies in his career as a sexploitation director ; Deep Jaws and The Dicktator. Each is more stupid and exploitating than the other, lacking both in story and continuity. Nevertheless, Deep Jaws is still worth its time. It's an interesting piece of sexploitation from a time of change, with just the right doses of nudity, slapstick humor and trashy mood!
  Look away if you are looking for acting. Roxanne Brewer and Candy Samples make an appearance although not fulfilling enough and Harry Reeves with Sandy Carey also drop by to say hello. Tits, ass and stupid atmosphere to make you relax. If it rocks your boat, watch this. Otherwise, don't even bother!
Must watch this : with the dudes but don't actually watch this. When you are chilling, have this playing in the background and talk about the manly stuff. Pause from time to time to watch some scenes and laugh with it!
Movie Part 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124361/ 

Dude, what the fuck are we watching again?

Hit on Deborah! Get rejected!

Ahemmm, it is on the other left!

 

The Plague of the Zombies (1966)

  A mysterious epidemic starts killing young workers in a little Cornish village. The local doctor helplessly asks for professor James Forbes' help. Upon Forbes' and his daughter's arrival to the village think start spiraling out of control and now Forbes has to face something unreal...
  In the vein of similar goth horror films from the same company, this film comes out and stings like a motherfucker. Directed by John Gilling, this flick boasts a smart script, fine acting, solid photography and gloomy atmosphere. As always, the settings are outstanding and certainly build up half of the film's momentum. Cemeteries, unholy rituals, zombies....prepare!
  The cast is a classic Hammer Films' one, with sophisticated actors performing above average. The expressions and feelings portrayed are convincing and life-like and the theatrical mood of the actor's performances gives a more realistic touch to it. That is quite difficult for a film of the genre! Standing out from the cast are André Morell, Brook Williams, Jacqueline Pearce and Diane Clare!
Must watch this :  on a rainy and windy March afternoon. Make yourself a nice cup of tea and enjoy the film. After the film, take a long stroll in the muddy woods nearby but make sure not to shit yourself with every strange noise you hear!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060841/

A fine specimen of period blood

Oh, no! I am lost...Maybe a wolf may come and help me!

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Shut up, Mike. That is immoral"

Prison Heat (1993)

  Four American girls decide to go on a spontaneous adventure from Greece to Turkey. In their first hours in Turkey they are framed by corrupt officials and sent to prison. There they must face sick prison guards and inmates with sadistic lesbian intentions, while trying to find a way to escape...
  Women-In-Prison genre gets a new fresh revival in this 90's flick directed Joel Silberg. To be honest, the mood and the overall quality of the film cannot be compared to that of its 70's equivalents and it would be disrespectful to make such a comparison. Nevertheless, the film boasts some 90's bimbos in the environment that makes a good W.I.P movie ; lesbian inmates and guards, corrupt officers of the law, violence and human degradation. For any politically-not-correct viewer out there!
  The main characters of the film are played by Playboy bunnies so you can imagine that acting quality of that! Zero portrayal of emotion and expressions as stiff as what's between your legs when you see them, these "actors'" job is to be half naked or naked and not to actually act! You have been warned. Proceed with your own responsibility!
Must watch this : don't actually, but if you have to watch it do it in deep summer on a very hot morning. Get a freddo cappuccino, sit back and enjoy and after the film do yourself a favor and go to the beach!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107877/

***We are so gonna get raped***

"So, what are you doing tomorrow morning?" "I got plans. I have to clean my cell."

Gimme that cheeseburger,  fat boy!

 

Common Law Cabin (1967) a.k.a How Much Loving Does a Normal Couple Need?

  Dewey Hoople runs a tourist trap along the Colorado River with his wife Babette and their daughter Coral. Normally, he pays a local alcoholic to entice tourists to come to his place. Barney Rickett, an ex-detective that has stolen a fortune in unclaimed jewellery, arrives and everything changes...
  Originally scheduled and written to be filmed in a Hawaiian tourist paradise but due to budget cuts (of course) set in Arizona, this film certainly delivers what it promises. Russ Meyer, even after his plans and visions had to be changed, does not fail to deliver once again the doses of exploitation we all need. For me, it may have been better that the settings were like that. The everyday vices of everyday people that Meyer portrays can be realized better with the deserted scenery as a background.
   A parade of classic exploitation actors here too! Jackie Moran, Babette Bardot, Adele Rein,  Frank Bolger, Ken Swofford, Alaina Capri and John Furlong. They all blend perfectly good in the given environment and seem to look good with the famous Eastman Color! Unbelievably real characters and unbelievable reactions!
Must watch this :  in deep summer, with a Mojito in hand,cigarettes, sunglasses and sexy company!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061504/?ref_=nv_sr_1

All aboard the Ark!

I have an idea....How about a Hooters restaurant?

We gonna crush you like ants!

RocknRolla (2008)

  London mobster Lenny Cole and a Russian "entrepreneur" try to set up a multimillion real estate scam. The accountant of the Russian together with  a small-time street gangster and his gang try to get their share of the loot. Meanwhile, a young rockstar feigns death to increase his albums' sales...
  Guy Ritchie does his thing again.This time it's not the small gangs, the gypsies or the gamblers...This time money goes big, the scams now are multinational and the players are white collar yuppies with just the right-wrong vices. OK, this movie is no Lock, Stock but it also has a great soundtrack and it's ten times better than anything else out there. Plus, it is always nice to see something from the English Tarantino!
  Bad guy actors and a bodacious temptress parade in this film. Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson, Thandie Newton, Mark Strong, Tom Hardy, Karel Roden and Toby Kebbell...American badassery translated into the sophisticated but still wild streets of London, bringing a more human touch to the definition of criminals with honor.
Must watch this :  with the dudes, cheap junk food, cheaper beer and good mood. After the film, brainstorm and try to find a way to make easy money with clever scams. Realize that you need big balls for it so just chill with this groovy fucka and daydream of your potential life in riches!
Trailer 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1032755/ 

You have a stain on your tie! Got ya!

I like men!

You know, I haven't had sex since Christmas! Prepare!