Emanuelle's Daughter (1980) a.k.a Η Μαύρη Εμμανουέλλα

  After years of being abused by her husband, Emanuelle decides that the only way to get rid of him is to hire a hit man to kill him. In a twist of events, the hit man blackmails her and she also has to deal with her husband's partner who tries to prove her guilty. She has to get things into her hands in order to protect herself and her naive daughter...
  This is not the first film that tried to cash in on the success of the original Emanuelle. Ilias Mylonakos directs this classic 80's sexploitation and thought that hiring Laura Gemser would guarantee an instant blockbuster. Little did he know that his film would go back into the dumpster of cheesy sleazy films full of softcore sex violence, never-ending nudity and an upsetting lack of serious plot. Not that it deserves to be anyplace else...
  Laura Gemser once again goes into the suit of the name that made her famous only this time only the name is the same and not the overall character. She and minx daughter Livia Russo face threats but still have time to fall in love and have sex in the sunny background of Greece. Don't take this as a life-changing but strictly as a no-brainer time-waster!
Must watch this : clearly don't watch this. But, in the case you feel obliged to watch this, do so on a fucking hot day with a mojito and a fan to cool you off. Then dream about your vacation in Greece, sex, drugs, sun and beach and that motherfucker to boost your adrenaline!
Something like a trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079104/

Subtly looking at tits

Just me, casually strolling by Acropolis

Fuckin' bitch, I'll fuckin' kill ya

Walk The Line (2005)

  A biographic dramatization about the life and deeds of the famous country legend Johnny Cash. Emphasizing on his everlasting love for June Carter, the film takes us on a trip into the mind of an iconic musician and tries to shine a light on his troubled life...
  James Mangold takes on a giant responsibility, that of making a film about the most badass motherfucker country music ever produced. Starting poor and sad, he went on equally poor and sad and created some of the world's most touching tunes. The film respects its character and keeps a good pace along the steps of Cash, showing his rough start, his addiction and the love that ruined and gave meaning to his life.
  Joaquin Phoenix is simply amazing in his performance as Johnny Cash. You can see that he really did study his part before stepping into his giant shoes. His movement and body language really step into the groove and together with Reese Witherspoon they make a fantastic duo. She is also doing some great work as you can see the fire and nerve-racking set of emotions when she looks into Phoenix's eyes! Cinema at its best!
Must watch this : on a hot summer afternoon, sitting on the porch (if you got one) and sipping down smooth iced tea. After the film, get in your hotrod, tune in some shit like that and drive on!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0358273/

Do I buy a guitar or do I kill the money in heroine?

Heroine was a bad choice

Everybody in the jailhouse, now!

Take a Hard Ride (1975)

  Pike, an old-time criminal but currently honest worker, goes on a suicide mission to deliver $86,000 in payroll money to a ranch in Sonora, Mexico. His road meets with Tyree's, a no-good gambler who seems to want to get his hands on the cash and they both encounter desperate prostitute Catherine and her loyal ace martial artist half-breed companion Kashtok. Now, they both have to pass through the dangerous desert, facing Kiefe's wrath...
   Director Antonio Margheriti experiments with the mix of western and blaxploitation almost 40 years before Tarantino did. The result is  downright entertaining as Margheriti succeeds in maintaining every element of a western film that makes us happy but adding to it the easybreezy mood of a blaxploitation. Get ready for shootouts, desert, money, dynamite and lots of trash talk puns!
  A big plus for this film is the incredible energy between Jim Brown and Fred Williamson. Their chemistry is amazingly vivid throughout the film and certainly brings a feeling of true comradeship. Also amazing is the performance of Lee Van Cleef, the bad guy with the killer look and the million ways to kill you. Completing the cast is Catherine Spaak as the prostitute and Jim Kelly, the famous karate master, as her martially skilled companion. A fine choice of actors for a fine film!
Must watch this : on a really hot summer day with a two glasses of iced tea and a cigar. After the film do yourself a favor,get in your car and start going for the nearest beach and have this fiery bullet playing while you speed down the road!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073784/

Imma kill you with my look only

Damn, nigga. Never go full pimp out in the desert

Dat cactus kush really got me dry! Shiet!

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (1974) a.k.a Non Si Deve Profanare Il Sonno Dei Morti

  George and Edna, two young people, are brought together by chance while they both travel in Northwest England. An overly devoted police officer is after their trail as he suspects them for the a series of grotesque murders. Little does he know that chemical pesticides brought the dead back to life and they are out for blood...
  Jorge Grau directs this masterpiece of a zombie. Generally underrated, this film easily steps out of the norm of the zombie genre as it definitely has a lot more atmosphere and a lot more balls. With definitive touches of carefully administered Sci-Fi and bloody gore, this film creates an unbeatable horror story with intense action and dialogues set in the eerie landscape of England. No wonder the great Electric Wizard took a sample from this movie for one of their songs!
  Cristina Galbó plays the gloomy but beautiful Edna who crashes into bad boy/hippie/biker Ray Lovelock and together the must face they chemically-revived zombies. Arthur Kennedy a.k.a the man, plays the cop, a true depiction of the unbendable and ever vigilante law for whom this is just another case of hippies and LSD. His acting really sets the bar up high for the whole film!
Must watch this : on a breezy September night, when the temperature just starts cooling off from the summer. Accompany with red wine and cheese and enjoy during at dusk on an outdoors television. After the film, get the chills with this creeping bastard blasting and your bong a-burning!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071431/

So, shall we shag now or shall we shag later?

With eyes as the red as the devil's dick

Damn it, I forgot the turn off the oven

Cannibal Girls (1973)

  Young Gloria and Clifford are on a road trip out in the snowy nature. When they get in a dire need of a place to sleep, they find a restaurant/guest house to spend the night and maybe some days. They learn about a local legend that has this guest house being occupied by three women that ate human flesh. Soon, they will find out that this is no fantasy...
  Ivan Reitman had other film successes before Ghostbusters. This movie is not one of them! Lacking seriously in plot and investing greatly on the weirdness of its story, this film fails to stand out as a horror exploitation. Nevertheless, that does not mean that this film does not create a great atmosphere of pure sleaze with periodic breaks of uneasy gore! Another ultra low-budget time waster!
  Andrea Martin and Eugene Levy play the protagonist couple. There is something weird going on between them. While their weirdo chemistry is great, their movements and reactions are as frigid as that of a woman from Central Europe! Randall Carpenter, Bonnie Neilson and Mira Pawluk are the three blood-thirsty chicks that even bother to cook their own meal! Exploitation actors for exploitation movies!
Must watch this : on a cold autumn night with hot dogs, coca cola and your girlfriend. Pay no attention to her refusing to watch this and put it on anyway. Feel your victory as she sleeps in your arms and you are still watching this.Then, worry about how sick and psycho you are!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069841/

I think I forgot the condoms!

Snap, snap motherfucker!

Wow, girl, slow down!

O Brother, Where Art Thou (2000)

  Three escaped convicts start a desperate hunt for a supposed treasure. Their way is hindered by crooked politicians, the KKK, giant con men, luring witches and a lawman that takes his job way too seriously. Not being the smartest of the lot, they stumble in each and every step of their way but they finally get to taste happiness in the American South of the Great Depression...
  Joel and Ethan Coen once again collaborate and direct this feel-good adventure! Greatly inspired by Homers' Odyssey, this film is highly allegoric and you can find a meaning/connection with everything in it. Great figures an historic landmarks are depicted in this film, disguised and masked to fit inside the film's era. The Devil, Ulysses, Robert Johnson, Poseidon, the KKK and a country in the process of changing all bind together smoothly under the fine orders of the Coen brothers and a soundtrack that could not be any better for this film.
  George Clooney, John Turturro and Tim Blake Nelson play the three main characters, the convicts that are after the treasure but only find failure and trouble along their way. John Goodman has the small supporting role of a big bodied racist mugger and con man, Chris Thomas King is the skilled bluesman who gets stuck with the convicts and Daniel von Bargen is the Devil himself.
Must watch this : on a cool breezy night with the only light being that of a candle, heavy tobacco, a glass of heavier whiskey and a true friend. Let the film take you in its comforting vortex and feel vulnerable and mortal while you consume the tobacco and whiskey. After the film, oblige in that grassy tune and talk about life and how simple it is while we stupidly make it more complex!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190590/?ref_=nv_sr_1

What do you mean we got no roach? I gave you the roach, you nimrod!

Spitfire!

The KKK took my baby away!

Astérix & Obélix contre César (1999)

  Julius Caesar has triumphed all over Gaul, except for a small village whose people have supernatural strength thanks to a special magic potion. After a lost battle, Caesar is double-crossed by his right hand Lucius Detritus, who manages to get hold of the magic potion and decides to destroy the small Gaul village. Only Asterix and Obelix can stop him...
  The famous comic series by René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo finds its way on to the big screen. Acclaimed director and writer Claude Zidi directs and the outcome is truly beautiful. Amazing sets and photography that make you feel like you are inside the comic and a great French sense of humor that harmonically continues the mood of the comic!
  Christian Clavier and Gérard Depardieu go together like peas and carrots! Their chemistry works so good together that they succeed in portraying Asterix and Obelix's true hilarious friendship. Roberto Benigni, that incredible Italian bastard, is the plotting villain whose ego is bigger than his stature. Claude Piéplu is the great druid Panoramix while Gottfried John could not be any more suitable for the role of Julius Caesar and yes that is because of his nose!
Must watch this : with all of your friends, in a wooden house in the mountains on a random spring night. Bring wine, bring food, cook it in the fireplace and enjoy with a good mood! Then go out in the nature and seek for adventures in small rivers and canyons, smoking weed with that uplifting mofo in your heads!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133385/

I'm on a diet!

He looks oddly familiar!

It's raining men.

Orgy of the Dead (1965)

  John and his girlfriend Shirley go to a cemetery in order to to look for inspiration for John's upcoming horror novel. Suddenly, the dead start emerging from their graves and perform a twisted dancing ritual in front of John and Shirley's eyes...
  Not every movie has to mean something. Now, that must have been Stephen C. Apostolof's motto when he decided to collaborate with Ed Wood for this "intelligent" film. This movie is a total no-brainer without even the distinct idea or insinuation of a plot, close to zero budget and non existent line of thought! Of course, all these are not necessarily bad and it depends on how you look at it! Besides being a total crap, this film is also the definition of stupid fan!
  Dead people coming back to life (they don't look so dead to me!), mandatorilly naked or at least topless for the most part dancing around in psychedelic smoke, in the middle of the forest and then the orgy kicks in! For sure, these were the better days of cinema. Lots of drugs, lots of booze, lots of wannabe actors giving everything for even the tiniest part and lots of money to actually throw down the drain. This film deserves the watch just for the experience and to show you that not everything means something in life!
Must watch this : with lots of beer or any other alcohol and seven bowls of supreme weed. Call up your friends (dudes or chicks), gather up, start partying with dat steamy tune and have this playing in the background for the laughs!
Trailer
tp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054240/

Where the fuck is my car?

Damn, where did you get that hair done?

So, you come here often?

Relations (1969) a.k.a Sonja - 16 år

  Pege, a middle-aged man, has relationship problems with wife who seems to be too cold to work it out anyway. Frustrated and lost, Pegel starts fooling around with 16-year-old Sonja who leads him on a distorted path to sexual and sensual fulfilment...
  Hans Abramson and Brandon Chase direct this masterpiece of EuroSleaze! It comes out as ordinary sexploitation flick but it is a lot more than that. The European air and mood are too present to let this film be just an exploitation film. The directors pay close attention to giving another perspective to the whole subject of relationships and of course they do so through some vivid and lewd depictions of sex and tense dialogues. If you are too frigid, don't watch. It takes open-minded European eyes to swallow it down!
   Bjørn Puggaard-Müller is the adulterer who found his second youth and Gertie Jung is the young nymph wo allows him to take this second taste of the saucy youth! Both act quite convincingly, as if they were actually in this small erotic adventure. Jeanne Darville, Poul Glargaard and Isa Møller Sørensen fill up the rest of the crew and complete this borderline sensually distorted movie.
Must watch this : alone or with a friend of the other sex. After the film, talk about relationships, sex and cheating with this groovy fucker playing. Chances are you will have sex afterwards!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065129/

Am I not too young for you?

Hmmm, so I wasn't too young after all!

I am a defiler of innocent youth!

Blazing Saddles (1974)

  The railway has to pass through an old rusty city and in order to scare the citizens, a corrupt political boss appoints a black sheriff hoping that the audacity will create anarchy. Unluckily for him, the new black sheriff teams up with the Waco Kid and they only mean business...
  Mel Brooks directs and plays in this whacky parody/spoof of old western movies. Being  a spoof, this movie has even more cliches than a normal western movie (sheriff, gangs, guns, saloon women etc) but all of them are satirized, sometimes crudely sometimes smoothly. The overall result is an easy-breezy western parody that makes a good laugh and gives a good mood!
  Cleavon Little plays the notorious black sheriff-pimp and Gene Wilder is his old gun legend friend, the Waco Kid. On the other side, there is Harvey Korman, the slimy corrupt politician, Slim Pickens as his stupid right hand and Mel Brooks, the ever-horny governor who was elected to fuck and not to read. Of course, we can't forget Madeline Kahn who finds her master in Bart's face!
Must watch this : watch it alone on hot summer morning with your coffee and breakfast. Start your day positively and then head directly to the beach and continue blazin'.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071230/

Nobody moves...I just shat myself.

Please, people maintain your cattle!

Whoever loses is an immigrant!

The Beach Girls (1982)

  Three young girls head to a beach house for vacation. Not losing any chance, they host a big open party where everyone is invited one way or the other. Soon, the party gets wild when a cargo of marijuana gets in the girls' hands and everything gets out of hand and out of their clothes...
  Bud Townsend directs this not-so-classic-American-sex-comedy. On one hand it is yet another comedy with cheap adolescent humor and a lot of boobs but on the other hand you get the feeling that it has just a bit more quality than the rest of its genre. Of course don't expect a twisted plot or anything too smart but the nudity, the feel-good California-in-the-80's mood and your soft rock vibes are there so jump  in!
  Everything in this film is 80's cult and so is the acting. You can see the effort all the actors put into making themselves look and appear funny and it works. Not by talent but for the effort only. Adam Roarke, a legend in 60's biker films, ironically plays the clean-cut uncle of one of the girls. Debra Blee, Val Kline, Jeana Keough and James Daughton are the main protagonists and ,yeah you guessed it, they spend most of their screen time naked,flirting or making out! Cheers!
Must watch this : with all your friends, girls and boys, and lots of cool cocktails right when the summer vacation is about to start. Watch out for interesting party ideas and try to apply them to you your summer adventures. During the film, everyone needs to help everyone hook up!
No need for a trailer as none was found!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083628/

Ah, I can't see the view!

Sauna blazin'

I think you should know...I am a virgin

Ed Wood (1994)

  The story of Ed Wood and how he got from a wannabe director, editor, scriptwriter , etc to the worst director of all times. The story explains how he got his first break, his relationship with Bela Lugosi and Vampira, his strange vice to wear women's clothes and how he finally came to make his best worst film.
  Tim Burton decides to take a huge risk and direct the biography (or as close as it can get) of the most notorious filmmaker in the history of world cinema. The movie has a great pace and progress, filled with comedy and weirdness and with enough drama to make you feel melancholic. Interesting narration through the first anxious steps of cinema, an inside view in the problems of film making and funding and a personality that was just too poor for his times and profession.A great film about vanity and how life should be to make your own visions true and not others'.
  Johnny Depp in yet another one of his strange roles and he really does it well. He doesn't try to reenact as Ed Wood himself but he tries to portray the strangeness of his personality in his own way. Sarah Jessica Parker is his first wife and in this film she says the best line of her career. Martin Landau is incredible as horror legend Bela Lugosi while Patricia Arquette, Jeffrey Jones and Bill Murray fill the rest of the seats.
Must watch this : on a cool night after a big dinner at a Mexican restaurant and a couple of Margaritas. Let the story of Ed Wood inspire you into starting your life all over again and making it your own this time and do so with that chillout mothermother as a soundtrack!
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109707/

So, we gonna get stoned or what?

I will let you have my wife for a night if you produce my movie! She's gonna leave me anyway!

I sense bullshit in the air!

Casino (1995)

  The story of wo best friends, Sam 'Ace' Rothstein and Nicky Santoro, and how they reached the top of the mafia world starting from small-time thugs to big time corrupt entrepreneurs. A wild ride through money, casinos, gambling, booze, drugs, violence and a trophy wife!
  Martin Scorsese definitely has a niche for filming movies about people that came to power by looking down upon the society's laws and how the uphill turned them into greedy monsters that eventually kill their own selves. He certainly does it so poetical;y, though, closely examining each element of their psychosynthesis and portraying its positive and negative side as a harmonious two-steps-forward-three-step back ride to death. Hats off!
  Robert DeNiro  and Joe Pesci go together like hamburger goes with fries, like gambling goes with losing. One completes the other in this wheel of fortune that is bound to turn against them. Sharon Stone completes the main cast as the poisonous woman that has to have everything. James Woods, Don Rickles, Frank Vincent and many other classic, mafia faces appear and elevate this movie to the top of the mountain of coke they just imported!
Must watch this : with your best buds only, pizza and  heavy atmosphere. This movie doesn't need any women around, this is about Rocknrollas! After the film, daydream about being out of the law, rich and full of women. Keep daydreaming until it hurts and then listen to that mellow sucka to calm you down.
Trailer
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112641/

Turn back! I forgot my toothbrush!

I am all ears for your bullshit!

Cocaine, not even once!